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I'm hoping for suggestions.

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Jacqui9, Mar 30, 2016.

  1. Jacqui9

    Jacqui9 Peer Supporter

    I fit the personality traits for TMS perfectly. I woke up one morning in November of 2015 with excruciating pain in my right thigh. I was hospitalized twice and after many MRIs, C Scans, and x-rays, the only thing found was some edema in my hip. Since that time I have had the same pain twice which the doctors treated with opiates. I am developing other minor problems - nausea, metallic taste in my mouth, chills, tremors and a few more problems - with no diagnosis from the doctors. I am reading everything I can about TMS and am seeing a EMDR Therapist for neglect/emotional abuse as a child. I feel I am just stuck and that things are getting worse instead of better. I think the main problem for me is not being able to fully accept that it is TMS. At the same time I do believe it is TMS but can't accept it 100%. Is this stopping me from healing? In addition, lately I have become very fearful - mainly that I will have additional pain and symptoms. I would appreciate any thoughts or suggestions. Thank you in advance.
  2. Gigi

    Gigi Well known member

    Hi Jacqui. The doubt you're describing is quite common when people first learn of Mind Body Syndrome or TMS. have you read the book Healing Back Pain by Dr. John Sarno? That's what helped convince me.
    I would also suggest starting the Structured Education Plan or SEP, found free on this wiki. After I completd that, I felt like I'd received my life back.
    blessings to you, and welcome!welcomea
  3. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Jacqui9,
    In addition to the SEP, I highly recommend the TMS Recovery Program at the Wiki. It is suggested you start with this. It will help you develop skills to deal with the anxiety and fear, which are quite common.

    I also like this thread about fear.

    Just observe your doubts, and inquire into them. There is no need to fear your doubts. The doubt and fear can be witnessed. You don't need to pressure yourself to eliminate anything.

    Your doubts drop away as you have more experience and evidence, and education, as Gigi suggests. You begin to look for patterns in everything around your experience that confirms you have TMS. This deep belief is wonderful, but it comes in its own time. You might ask your higher self for this understanding, or to remove your doubts also. Just to make a wonderful wish for ourselves is powerful.

    Andy B.
  4. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Jacqui, about 1 month ago I was in same doubts and posting similar questions here.

    My symptoms were: swelling, severe spasms of tendons, crippled fingers and wrists. After couple weeks of doubts and frenetic Internet searches, I decided to just go for TMS approach. I am far from recovery, but I am at least 15-20% better. When you have nowhere else to go, convincing yourself becomes quite easy :=).

    Go for it, there are amazing people on this forum who will support you as you go along. Before posting a question, I often search the forum first, and, sure enough, somebody before me had been there and somebody already answered my question.
    Tennis Tom likes this.
  5. Jacqui9

    Jacqui9 Peer Supporter

    Gigi, Andy and TG957 thank you very much for responding. All of your responses were helpful.

    Andy, thank you so much for the two links. They helped me more than I could have hoped for. I would like to ask how one can allow themselves to feel profound sadness. After I read your article about doubts about TMS I realized that profound sadness was what was holding me back from healing. I'm afraid to let myself feel the profound sadness because I might be overwhelmed by it. What a hold these feelings have on us - we would rather feel the physical pain as bad as it is rather than feel the emotional pain that is causing it. Thank you again Andy.

    I directed the above to Andy since he so kindly sent me the link but of course I would appreciate responses from others also.
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2016
  6. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Jacqui9,
    You might ask your therapist about support to experience the sadness. With support, and over time, sadness can lead to a profound intimacy with one's heart. We are tender, vulnerable, and soft. Our tears are to be felt. Our sadness calls us home to settle in with all of our experience, wonderful, and difficult. We're naturally afraid of sadness, but it is a doorway. If you have this aim, to be with your sadness, and you are gentle, this will be OK. It is remarkable in itself that you are contemplating this, because most people don't. And if you can explore it outside of any results or pressure to do with fixing TMS, then this is best. It is its own realm to be investigated, respected. Not used for some other end. We are tender with our tenderness.
    Andy B
  7. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    While this quote can be read as rather idealistic, it points to the existential experience of the sad, tender heart, which is a part of the human experience, and which has its gifts for us. This practitioner is contemplating the deepest teachings of "enlightenment," and also recognizes that we'll always have "the genuine heart of sadness." And that this is a good thing!

    Here is a quote from Chogum Trungpa:
    "The genuine heart of sadness comes from feeling that your nonexistent heart is full. You would like to spill you heart's blood, give you heart to others. For the warrior, this experience of sad and tender heart is what gives birth to fearlessness. Conventionally, being fearless means that you are not afraid... Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness. It comes from letting the world tickle your heart, your raw and beautiful heart. You are willing to open up, without resistance or shyness, and face the world. You are willing to share your heart with others."
    Tennis Tom likes this.
  8. Jacqui9

    Jacqui9 Peer Supporter

    Andy, thank you again for your additional thoughtful and kind responses.

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