This seems like a trick question. The obvious response is, “I want to be pain-free. I want my body to be able to do all the things I want and need it to do, without restrictions.” But I’ve come to realize that it isn’t that simple. I didn’t develop this multi-faceted array of symptoms in a vacuum – my mind has been protecting me from some devastating truths. That I’ve become isolated from my “people,” the ones who love me no matter what. That the person I thought was my life partner didn’t have the capacity to be that partner – and that deep down, I knew it all along. That the cost of maintaining an outer semblance of a happy shiny life has been enormous, not just on my body but on my self-esteem. Accepting all this is more painful than I can say, but it’s liberating too. So that’s what I would change: to be able to move forward knowing that I can be true to myself, that I have the power to sense what’s real, and that my strength has never gone away, even when I thought I might break. One of the steps I'm taking is doing this program. I’ll make up the others as I go along.