Day 20 If you could change one thing about your life what would it be? What steps could you take to make th

If I had to change one thing. Then it should be to stop feeling dependent on my separated wife. It frustrates me that I am constantly thinking about how I can win her back. She plays on my emotions. She sees another and as soon as I show my interest in getting her back, she shuts me off. When I express I want to move on with my life and ignore her. Then she suddenly gives me hope that we can meet again. I can feel I'm furious at her, but at the same time, I love her. But it's time to work on becoming independent of her. However, I do not know how to approach it. We have 3 children together, so we are forced to work together.

 

Hi Lasseb81,

I get the frustration, rage, longing and confusion ----as well as self pressure, you're experiencing. I am sorry.

In one paragraph you have expressed a truckload of psychological tectonics, and it is good to correlate these inner stresses with your symptoms. Remember too that Dr. Sarno said you didn't have to change anything in order to get better. The basic practice is connecting the dots, knowing where your symptoms are coming from.

I understand the bind you're in, trying to not lose your wife, and at the same time when you express this, she distances herself. Independence offers truth and boundaries, but then there are the kids! What a stew for emotional merging and TMS. This does not sound easy!

If change happens, it will come from clarity and boundaries which grow organically. It seems from your post that your inner guidance is emerging in this regard.

Sending you hope for awareness, strength, and compassion for yourself.

Andy