When we have tough situations that we have to face day in and day out. We often wonder how will I ever get past feeling like I'm a victim of circumstance. Yes we all have had those tight situations that make us wonder how are we supposed to heal when all of this is going on? There is a key note in the question above. The how question? I believe that question limits a lot of people in their quest to heal from tms. If you want to get better and your in unprofitable situations. The golden question is to ask why? Why am I reacting to this circumstance like this? See when we can understand why -- then we can learn to change why were re-acting. Example -- Mr. Johnson your boss of 25 years has been giving you a hard time for about a year now at your job. You can't understand why he seems to have it out for you but you decide to stay at your job because times are hard and plus you love what you do. Ok, now if I was to ask you how is all of this happening? Then you would only come to the conclusion that he is how this is happening, right? If I was to ask why this is happening then you would say , well he's a jerk ok. Then I'd say why is he a jerk and you might say cause he makes me feel agitated. Then I'd say why does he make you feel agitated and at this point you'd either have the answer or you'd say I'm not sure. If you keep asking the why question then eventually the thoughts will land right back on your re-actions. The very first re-action you have when you get mad at your boss. When you can remember or think of or become aware when this emotion is triggered then you can learn to re-condition this trigger by floating through this time of anger or distress instead of reacting to this emotion that swells up inside you. Of course you will be sensitized and have to break the conditioning but the why question. Will get you through a lot if you pay special attention to why you are reacting in this manner. Then you can start to focus on this emotion and then process it and eventually let it go on your journey to freedom.