Day 20 If I could change one thing about myself....

[If 6 was 9]

Today's question to ponder: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Easy: caring what people think or thought of me!

Obviously you need to care to some degree or you could easily say or do things that were inappropriate or hurtful to others.

But I wished I'd not been so afraid of people finding out who I truly was. To guard against this I was faced with two options: become a person who pleases everyone, or drop out and see yourself forever as an exile.

I largely chose the second option and ended up being at best, aloof, and at worst, very bitter and critical of society and people in general.

Over the years I have come to realise that I have more in common with people outside my close friends than I thought. And I didn't have to shed the parts of my personality that were important to me to realise this.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, If 6 was 9. I think you've discovered an important part of being happy with ourselves... we can often communicate our feelings better to those who are not closest to us. They can be less judgmental than family or best friends.

With those, maybe just modify our "goodism," and don't over-do wanting to please them. Just turn the "helpful" meter down to a more comfortable level. Don't turn it off. There's no need to do that and risk feeling distanced from others.