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Ideas on why my TMS pain returns when I´m sick?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Hedger, Dec 18, 2021.

  1. Hedger

    Hedger Well known member

    I would say that every time I get sick (like a cold/flue, stomach flue or similar), which is often now in pre-school years with toddlers, I get back/hip pain. Why is that? Any ideas people?

    Is it my perfectionism? Like I´m counting on myself to perform at work and in private, then a sickness cripple me and I have to stay at home and rest? I know I´m feeling like I´m not doing what I should when I miss several days of work in a row (which is crazy logically, but still...).
    miffybunny likes this.
  2. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes, you just answered your own question. That feeling of pressure to perform and meet deadlines etc. , feeds your brain with messages of danger. Even "fomo " (fear of missing out" or "fofb " (fear of falling behind...I just made that up lol). Even the word "should" is a form of self criticism. It's easy to see how your brain would go into high alert and revert back to tms signals.
    Hedger likes this.
  3. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I just had a little of that when I got covid/supercold or whatever they are calling it this week. I re-read Mindbody prescription and I think that when we are sick that Narcissistic rage that Heinz Kohut named, kicks in big time. I couldn't go out, do anything fun, but I did have to go to work (I work alone).... that rage-soothe ratio got out of balance. I felt like crap, weak, useless and that is enraging to the ego....so...distraction is needed. Ouch, my hip hurts.

    It went away before I got well, but I had to really admit that I am so shallow that not going out to play for a few hours a day makes my life seem like a drudge.
    BloodMoon and Hedger like this.
  4. FredAmir

    FredAmir Well known member

    Good insight Hedger!

    There is a part of you that gets really angry when you get sink. Is it trying to be a perfect employee and not miss work? Is it something else?

    Regardless, as long as you realize that it is TMS and treat it as such you’ll be fine.

    In fact, when it happens see it as an opportunity to train your mind to conquer TMS when you are sick and for it not to ever happen again.

    Hope you feel better soon.
    Hedger likes this.
  5. Hedger

    Hedger Well known member

    Thanks for the confirmation!

    I´m having this problem often now with toddlers and very little me-time. Its enraging...

    Thank you!

    I have come really far, but I´m a bit stuck on this one. When I get sick and when I get too little me-time due to small children etc. I can get symptoms. It´s a lot milder than my original ones but still I haven't managed it completely yet. It´s like I feel "Go fuck yourselves everyone and leave me alone!!", but off course my inner drive to take care of my family is stronger and I won't let them down - hence (I guess) TMS symptoms to repress the rage/sadness. I´m not willing to be a bad father to get rid of some ache.

    So all advices are welcome.
  6. FredAmir

    FredAmir Well known member

    As a husband and a father, I faced the same dilemma. I did not want to end up in pain and disabled again. So as I explained in chapter seven of Rapid Recovery from Back and Neck Pain, "I searched for new techniques and strategies for dealing with stressful relationships and situations and combined them with my knowledge of psychology and common sense to create a more harmonious and peaceful life. These strategies have helped me discharge my responsibilities and obligations as a husband and father in a better and more efficient way, by building consensus and teamwork within my family. Now many of the issues and tasks that used to be a great source of worry, concern, and tension are resolved and accomplished without overburdening myself beyond my limits, as used to be the case. As a constant perfectionist, I have to say that is quite a relief."

    I think if we see the TMS experience as a great opportunity to learn, grow, and discover new solutions to old problems, we can expect to line much happier and healthier.
    Hedger likes this.

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