IBS/SIBO is driving me crazy

Hi everyone,

I only post once in a while in these forums because I try to stay away from all the reasurrance-seeking decoy... but I might give into it this time again. This is gonna be long, sorry.

I have many TMS-equivalents but the 3 that are most bothering to me are chronic low back/leg pain, vulvodynia and IBS/SIBO. The former two don't bother me as much as they used to : chronic low back pain is a classic Sarno symptom and I do physical activity despite of it ; vulvodynia is more unnerving, but I follow Lorraine Faehndrich's program and I don't feel crushed by it like I was at a time (my bf being very supportive really helps).

As for IBS/SIBO... this is probably my oldest TMS-equivalent, as I've had it since I was a child, but in a much, much milder way than what it has become now. Sorry if this is TMI, but I'm tired of farting ALL THE TIME and of regularly having diarrhea after breakfast, it makes me really self-conscious and it makes me anxious when we have people visiting (yeah, I realize this sounds ridiculous). I used to love naps but now I'm afraid of lying down after eating because it always brings down pain and more farting (even lying down at another time during the day does that).

It totally makes sense that my brain have chosen my digestive system to wreak havoc on, as I've always had a special link with food. It represents warmth and maternal love, in a way. My parents always encouraged me to eat as much as I wanted (I was never overweight and was a very active child), but I was a picky eater (still am but much less) and I remember looooong lunches when I had to force myself to gulp down foods that are abhorrent to me. Then when I was 15-16, I decided I wanted to lose some weight (really didn't need it), I started trying to restrict and was kind of fascinated with anorexia (2 of my classmates were struggling with it at the time). Thankfully I never lasted long, but it started a binge-eating habit that has only resolved since 1 or 2 years.

At 18 I was diagnosed with PCOS and my sister referred me to an acupuncturist she had started to see for the same issue and that was recommended to her by her friends. It was about the same time I started to get low back pain and leg pain after a yoga lesson. He was an honest guy but was really convinced that everybody in the western world had candidosis (even with no real signs of it like thrush) and needed to eat a no-gluten, no-dairy, no-added sugar diet which was also restrictive in many other ways (eg, don't eat flours as they have a higher glycemic index than whole grains, only eat cooked foods if you have digestive issues, drink daily artichoke leaf tea and miso soup, don't eat fried foods, don't drink coffee, don't eat potatoes because high-IG, etc.). Not only it didn't work, but it made my binge-eating way, way worse. It also lead me to read a lot (like, too much) on food and health issues.

I stopped going to the acupuncturist after something like 2 years, but I was now on a "finding the healthiest way to eat and to resolve my health issues" stunt. I was driven mad by the back and leg pain, and a doctor told me I had fibromyalgia. I'm sure many of you are familiar with the alternative diet world. It's a hell of a rabbit hole for anyone with health issues : everyone is giving different advice. I had started being a vegetarian and decided to go vegan, then fruitarian (which lasted only a few weeks, thanks God). The more I tried to eat eat clean, the more I binge-ate in reaction and the worst my digestive issues got. I was always thinking about food, in a really orthorexic kind of way.

Where I'm now : I stopped being vegan because fiber seems to upset my gut a lot, I couldn't eat enough without being in pain and started feeling hypoglycemic. I was also very tired and anxious (tbh, this could be purely TMS and not linked to diet). I now try to eat a balanced diet with an emphasis on animal foods, but my gut health seems desperately compromised. A naturopath I saw 3 years ago made me take a breathing test and diagnosed me with SIBO. The treatment she gave me didn't work, but maybe I didn't follow it long enough.

I don't know what to do. Part of me thinks this IBS/SIBO stuff (+ mild GERD and rectal pain I have recently developed, the latter seems linked with pelvic symptoms and s) is totally TMS and I should start eating what I want and lying down when I want during the day without caring about the symptoms, stop taking supplements, stop thinking about the symptoms some food is gonna give me (onions ! beans ! wheat flour ! etc.)... The other part of me thinks I should go paleo or even carnivore, or try another supplement, or go have a colonoscopy... I'm tired of the restrictions, but I'm also tired of colics and farting !!

 

TMS Work + intuitive eating(flexitarian)