I was so hopeful but now hitting my all time low

For the first time I truly feel like I can’t go on. Since beginning doing the TMS work 8 weeks or so ago I have had ups and down but was hopeful over all. Since my lower back started hurting over the weekend on vacation I have slowly been getting worse. I have stopped exercising. I have been taking tons of ibuprofen to the point my stomach hurts. Today my legs, upper back, arms all started aching in addition to my lower back. I’m so scared. I feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to but it’s getting worse. I’m so scared I’m getting to the point where I won’t be able to force my way through work and we will lose everything. I can’t do that to my family. I can’t afford counseling. I just don’t know what to do. How can TMS get this painful and spread out so much? Sorry, i know I sound like I’m having a pity party, but I’m just in so much pain and so scared right now.

 

I have always been really stressed out getting ready for vacation. I know it comes from a childhood we’re going on vacation meant being in a car with my father for God knows how long, and it terrified me. While vacation is supposed to be a very relaxing time, It can be a stressful time. It can trigger all kinds of things. Did a part of you feel guilty for going on vacation? Was it stressful getting the kids situated? Unfortunately, the questions I’m asking you could continue....
It’s only been 8 weeks. I know that feels like an eternity. Have you read the book Faceing the Fire? It has some very interesting views of anger and some good exercises for releasing it. Even if you don’t feel like you’re angry.
Hang in there.

 

p s
Scroll down to new thread “day 16, Emotional Repressing “ it might be helpful

 

Thanks. I have not read Facing the Fire but will check it out. I’m just having trouble right now believing this could all be TMS. I’m having referred pain to my lower left back when I touch my left buttock and diahrea off and on for a week. I know I’m stressed. And I can sense there’s some rage inside me. But mostly I’m just scared. I’ve been through sooo many different symptoms over the years and they never find anything so I really don’t want to spend more money on this. But it’s symptoms I have not had before. Though again they came out of nowhere. I will work at somatic tracking though and give it some time. I know I need to believe it’s TMS and that’s the hard part.

 

Hi Dwiegman,

The spreading and intensification of symptoms is common, both before engaging Dr. Sarno's work, as indication of TMS, and especially as you engage the work. This increase is reported by many people here. It is actually an indication of the mind-body responding to your work. Take heart!! See extinction burst.

Andy B

 

I know this feeling well. Not having the time or money to take care of yourself is really tough and the fear of not being able to provide for your family could certainly make the pain intensify. The cheapest option is to listen to the sessions on this site with Dr. Alan. Hearing him guide others really helped m with anger stuff. In the next days...express rather than suppress any emotions. Don't lash out, just don't swallow any upset. This process takes time. I felt hopeless once too. I promise it will get better, but you have to take the steps...journaling, watch some youtube videos, read success stories, trust. Also, think about talking to your employer. Perhaps you could take a leave of absence and get temporary disability or unemployment. You never know what kind of options there are. Even one month of focusing on yourself and healing now could mean a life time of mobility later. Your family needs you whole.

 

Do you have FMLA? If not, talk with your HR dept at work. It will protect your job.
My pain this morning is ridiculous!....but, it has changed since the revelation of TMS. I know that is a positive thing (although painful). I think that it’s been about a month for me. I was hoping for much faster relief, knowing that it’s TMS. Unfortunately, I am not one of the persons that is had instantaneous relief after reading the information. I’m hanging in there though. I recognize that it is truly tension related. Hang in there with me OK?

 

Beautiful invitation!!