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I think I'm healing? Holy crap!

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by cnote, Sep 20, 2016.

  1. cnote

    cnote Peer Supporter

    I actually stopped journaling a couple weeks ago. I don't know why I stopped... maybe its because I was just living?

    This is crazy.

    My low back pain is 95% gone! I may get an occasional spasm, but only if I've been on my feet for a LONG time. Totally normal.

    I can run... and lift...

    I can sit for hours editing video at my job with no pain!

    And the biggest WOW for me...

    It sounds gross, but my bladder muscle was affected and even my pelvic floor muscles. I'm a dude.

    I even had slight pain in my erections... and less feeling in my penis nerves when having intercourse with mynwife... and when I ejaculated, it would come out weak and slow. Gross I know...

    But! At 32 years old, that shouldn't be happening.

    Dr. said it was all from my lower back nerves.

    Guess what?

    I've suffered from this BS for over 2 years now...

    Last week during intercourse, I noticed sex felt SO amazing again!

    And my orgasms... well.. lets just say I can shoot like a canon. Gross I know. Lol. But this is HUGE to me!!!!!!

    Sex is a part of life and marriage. I can enjoy it now with NO pain!

    Also, I haven't had a muscle knot break out in my upper back etc in over 2 months now... WTF!!???

    I'm almost debated writing this... because I was one of the BIGGEST skeptics out there! And I'm worried this is a fluke.

    But there's no way...

    Nothing else in the past has helped! I tried the TMS homework, thinking "if anything else, it will just be good therapy for stress... even if it doesn't help my chronic pain issues."

    It worked!!! This has to be success from the TMS homework!!!

    I haven't been to the chiropractor in 3 months!!! Or gotten a massage.


    Thank God!!! And Dr Sarnos and the creators of this site!!!
    JanAtheCPA, Steve J., TG957 and 4 others like this.
  2. cnote

    cnote Peer Supporter

    Like seriously! I was suffering daily! With horrible low back pain!

    MRI showed a broadbased bulging disc.

    This is insane feeling this good for this long!
  3. readytoheal

    readytoheal Peer Supporter

    "TMS homework "- what did you do specifically? Congrats! Fantastic!
  4. birdsetfree

    birdsetfree Well known member

    So great! I'm thrilled for you!
  5. bachman

    bachman Peer Supporter

    Excellent news and I can relate so much

    I've been thinking to myself, 'Why haven't I been doing the work more?' (just re-reading for example) and I think its because I am 'living' a bit more, day by day

    Probably say I'm 90% improved, so much less pain, better described as discomfort right now

    Exercising again - just moderate, but very significant given where I was even a month ago by introducing new methods week by week and just enjoying without fear or being critical

    More productive - working at the desk albeit can ache considerably (just one of the few reasons why I'm getting back to reading, educating, doing journals again) - a bit of a wake up call that as amazing as I have done, there is more to come!

    Yes....a sexual appetite again!

    Holy Crap indeed!
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  6. Ines

    Ines Well known member

    dancea great news!
    Same here. I stopped journaling and wasn't even on this forum for 3 weeks last month. I felt great. Still have a ways to go though.
    That's so awesome that you are better!
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  7. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    Congrats c note. Could you clarify something? What do you attribute your success to? Do you feel that journaling contributed to your progress, even though you stopped a few weeks before noticing significant improvement? I can't figure out if I should journal more consistently (à la Nicole Sachs) or, instead, focus less on TMS work and more on living. Or maybe I can do both?

  8. cnote

    cnote Peer Supporter

    As in journaling. I was doing the daily program on this wiki page. I think I stopped on day 12?
  9. cnote

    cnote Peer Supporter

    Honestly, I don't know 100%. I think just the journaling...? Unless I really did have a broadbased bulging disc in my l4/5 like the mri said... and its just finally healing after 2.5 years? But I doubt it. It has to be TMS related. I just don't know how to answer the question. All I know is that I'm 95% better. If not 98%.
  10. BeWell

    BeWell Well known member

    [Deleted at BeWell's request]
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2016
  11. cnote

    cnote Peer Supporter

    LOVE this!!! :)
  12. cnote

    cnote Peer Supporter

    Damnit guys... today my lower back started back up again.

    I don't understand...

    Time to start up the journaling and open up all the books again.

    I will beat this. :)
  13. BeWell

    BeWell Well known member

    [Deleted at BeWell's request]
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2016
    hecate105 likes this.
  14. hecate105

    hecate105 Beloved Grand Eagle

    You have found the answer to your TMS, but when your pain went you got all excited and stopped doing the 'work' - and the pain came back..
    You are right to put life first and get involved in it and enjoy - but - you do need to keep on doing the work, even if you say - ok, i'm feeling pain free - i'll do every other day or three days a week at the 'work'. It just needs keeping on at until either you never ever get pain, or (like me) I just journal, meditate or practice mindfulness every couple of weeks, or come on this forum - or some other tms 'work' - which then keeps it at bay.
    I am 98 percent healed, i very rarely (3 and a half years on!) get any pain, if i do - i call it out and i make sure i think 'what is happening with me psychologically?' then i address that problem (usually family stuff for me!) and do some meditation or journalling.
    I think it depends on your personality etc - I know i have a total 'tms' personality and if i don't keep a check on what's going on in my life - then i will suffer. Keeping an eye on myself and doing a bit of 'work' is a small price to pay for boundless health (i just cycled across Wales dude!)
    So just sit back and watch yourself - do you slide back into old ways of thinking or reacting? Do you have pressures in life that echo the stuff you have been journalling about? Have you taken on new responsibilities thru feeling you 'ought' to rather than actually wanting to...?
    We are all different and have to make our own way thru this minefield of tms - but we are all perfectly well equipped - we have Sarno's books and this forum and all the other books and support now available.
    So - instead of disappointment - feel relief - it shows that the tms is the problem and you know from experience you can beat it - so get back to it and have a wonderful life!
    JanAtheCPA, Ellen, riverrat and 2 others like this.
  15. cnote

    cnote Peer Supporter

    Are set
    Thanks so much for writing.

    The thing is, is I have been super positive. But a couple stressful things have been going on.

    I filmed a music video for a band, and with my perfectionism, I've spent SO much time editing it, even though I'm enjoying it... I feel now, like it's becoming not so fun... and I'm worried the band won't like all of it. But I journaled about this last night.

    I also had a sick son last week. He had the stomach flu. I am terrified of getting the stomach flu, so I spent 3 days bleaching and cleaning the house (and it worked. nobody else go it). But I think that stressed me out.

    And my wife and I got into an argument over a week ago... also I snapped last night at her. I don't understand... I've been doing amazing...

    My 40 year old brother also had to go to the hospital yesterday b/c he felt like he had pneumonia, but he's super stubborn, and almost didn't go to the hospital... this stressed me out. So I pretty much had to force him to go... which is stressful. The Dr. said if he waited one more day, he would have been hospitalized for 3 days.

    You are right... I am going to get back to it and have a wonderful life!!! I gotta tell the pain to SHUT UP.... :)
    Ines likes this.
  16. Cap'n Spanky

    Cap'n Spanky Well known member

    Congrats C-Note! I promise you it is real and it gets better, if you keep at it. I've been pain free for 9 years now. It is a miracle and I'm so grateful to Dr. Sarno.
  17. riverrat

    riverrat Well known member

    That's awesome cap n' spanky! What did you heal from?
  18. cnote

    cnote Peer Supporter

    I'm managing. I'm reading the Great Pain Deception. This guy sounds like me.

    I'm journaling again.

    Its like my whole body decided to just flare up a couple days ago after going almost 2 months pain free.

    Now my muscles are twitching, muscle knots are flared in my shoulders, low back is flared some again and spasming.

    My right palm is sore-ish.

    Feels like a guys version of fibro.

    But I know it can't be.

    I've suffered with an anxiety disorder for 9 years. And I think anxiety is obviously TMS.

    I have not had an anxiety attack in several years. Because I beat it!!!

    But now I think this muscle crap cycle is my brain finding a NEW way to deal with anxiety.

    This is not uncommon in TMS from what I'm reading.

    If I can be 100% pain free for well over a month or 2... this is just a sign that the TMS therapy was WORKING!!

    Just time to keep at it. :)

    Regardless of my low back pain and stuff, I continue to run and exercise. :)
    JanAtheCPA and Steve J. like this.
  19. riverrat

    riverrat Well known member

    You will beat it and be pain free again! I too was mostly pain free ( for years!) for it to return after a very emotional stressful year! We can do this!
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  20. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Guys can have fibro/tms too, they're just in the minority, probably culturally dictated.

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