I need support: setback, pain shifting and anxiety

[Lars]

Hello everyone,

This is my first post on this forum. I am 27yo and from The Netherlands.
I am so glad I found out about TMS, dr Sarno and this website 7 months ago!
I can say my pain has decreased significantly since I started reading books about TMS.
I have read all the books from John Sarno and the Great pain deception by Steve O.
Overall I start to feel better, but the pain keeps shifting and I am having a setback since 3 weeks.

I hope I can get support here to give my recovery a boost.

First I want to tell my pain history, I try to keep it short:

List of pain throughout the years:
Groin pain
Back pain
Stomach pain (spastic colon, TMS equivalent)
Neck pain
Shoulder pain
Arm pain.


My pain started in my left groin when I was 13, while playing soccer.
Not long after, I started to get pain in my right groin as well. I couldn't play soccer anymore which was my biggest hobby. I was very sad about this. Than I started to get pain in my back. I went to several therapists and doctors and got mri's etc, but they couldn't find anything structurally wrong with me. The pain persisted and eventually got worse. When I was 16 I also started to get pain in my stomach area which the doctors said could be a spastic colon (TMS equivalent). This eventually disappeared after 2 years.

When I was 20, I went to a surgeon who said he could fix the pain problem in my groins. I was very glad and relieved so I decided to do the surgery. He started with an exploratory surgery and said that he found a small inguinal hernia at both sides. So he did surgery on the inguinal hernia and also performed a so called adductor tenotomy to relieve the tension in my groins. According to the doctor the surgery went well, I was actually feeling much better after the surgery (I think this was just the placebo effect). I went travelling and was having a good time.

6 months or so after the surgery the pain started to come back in my groins and my back. I went back to physical therapists and chiropractors. I also went back to another surgeon who is a specialist at Inguinal hernia, he told met that the surgery went well and that there was nothing wrong with me. Eventually the pain got worse, I started to get pain in my neck as well which was very persisted. At my work things didn't go well. I got more pain the longer I was working at the computer. I started to get pain in my shoulders and arms. I had to stop working because I was so sick and tired of all the pain problems. I also got anxiety problems because of this.

7 months ago I found out about TMS and started reading the books from dr Sarno. I immediately knew this was me and that TMS is my problem. Since then I have been constantly reading and practicing the TMS method.
I am feeling much better already and started to get more active again. I started exercising in the gym 3 times a week. I try to ignore the pain and tell myself that it's just TMS and try to focus on my emotions.
So I started to improve slowly but steady every month. I had less pain in my groins, back and neck. Sometimes the pain was away completely, sometimes it was shifting a little bit between my neck, back and groin area.


I got a setback 3 weeks ago. I read something on the internet about groin surgery and started worrying again.
And feeling very anxious. Now I think that the surgery was unnecessary, I even doubt that there was really an inguinal hernia. I was watching a video on youtube about the surgery and everything went black for my eyes.
Now I am constantly worried that the surgery on my groins was a wrong decision and that it eventually is causing me pain. Immediately after this the pain started increasing again. Now I am having more pain and stiffness again in my groins. The pain also shifts between my neck, back and groins.

Deep down I am sure it is TMS which tries to distract me from my emotions. But it is very difficult to let go of the anxious thoughts that the surgery has made things worse.

I hope you guys can give me some support.

Best Wishes,
Lars

 

[Baseball65]

I got a setback 3 weeks ago. I read something on the internet about groin surgery and started worrying again.

Yep... I knew you screwed the pooch as soon as I read THAT sentence.

Is it that cold in the Netherlands and your that bored that you have to watch Youtube video's of stuff you know to be Bullshit? I had a back surgery in '99 but you will NEVER catch me watching footage of it.

We discuss this often here... the Nocebo. It is the opposite of the Placebo and is just as real. Many times I have been chatting with people about stuff and magically I Got that symptom...sometimes in minutes!
Sitting around and ruminating on the nature of our 'physical' diagnoses is a sure formula for failure at recovery from TMS. Sarno was really clear about that. As a matter of fact , to this day (20 years recovered)I Never engage in discussions about ANY health issues unless it is with someone I am trying to help overcome TMS.

When people begin discussions about Neuropathy, RSI, back Pain, chronic anything, I politely make myself scarce. If they have me trapped, I go inside myself like Yoda "blah, Blah, blah,blah" and drown out their voice. Remember;healing from TMS comes from changing...changing our minds and how we perceive things. When I hear about injury I treat it like someone throwing a rock at me. If I am reading and the subject segues into somebodies personal ailments, I stop. Radio's, Tv's and computers all have OFF buttons.

The medical world has billions of dollars tied up in you thinking there is something wrong with you. They advertise. They are the majority and most people believe their BS. We, the healed are a lucky minority. You'd better become your own advertising executive in your head...

Meanwhile, it's the 'Holiday' season and winter. This is a primetime with all of the family interaction and memory stimulated to come down with a NEED for a symptom distraction.... more than anybody, us TMSers need to be alert and aware to fend off incursions.... but watching youtube videos is like running in front of a truck. STOP IT and resume your recovery.

 

[Lars]

Yep... I knew you screwed the pooch as soon as I read THAT sentence.

Thanks Baseball65, you are absolutely right. I screwed up by reading and watching youtube about the surgery on the internet. My anxious mind still tries to pull me towards these articles and I click on them and start reading, very stupid.
Afterwards I always feel worse than before...My anxious mind tries to convince me that there is something structurally wrong. I have to accept that TMS is the only thing that is causing the pain and nothing else.
Hopefully I have learnt my lesson. Thanks for the advice I will stop doing it!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

In addition to @Baseball65 's always excellent advice, let's also logically answer this question: who do you think is making videos about experiencing problems after having what might have been an unnecessary surgery? Isn't it most likely to be someone who has NOT yet figured out that their real problem was TMS all along? Of COURSE they are experiencing issues after their surgery! Whereas you are not, because you know the truth, right?

Keep the faith, keep up the good work, and please post more often! You've got some good positive experience to share!

 

[Lars]

Thanks Jan,

After reading yours and Baseballs post I realized I made a mistake by searching on the internet. From now on I am determined to stop this obsessively searching on the internet and reading about my symptoms, each time I'm worried.
I have to accept that TMS is the cause of my problems and focus on the psychological not the physical.

Because of your support the pain in my groin area has diminished already, yesterday it was shifting again between my neck, back, and groins. I know now that this is a good thing and realize this is part of the TMS healing process.