I met Dr. Sarno 7 years ago and now..?

Hello All! My name is Jacopo and I live in Nyc since almost 9 years, I moved here from Milano, Italy I was 31 years old.
I did have a plan how to succeed in my life but I was inside very scared of the new path.
So I started to develop back pain. I remember one night I woke up in so much pain I had to go to ER where they gave morphine shots, didnt work. I got home in pain.
I went to see, as most of you, many practitioners, I got an MRi who showed herniation l4-l5 l5-s1.
I was very close to consider surgery... then I was lucky enough to meet Dr. Sarno in person. (I believe it was 2007)
what a great man! I walked in his office quite skeptical. I left full of hope.
After a long first visit he told me straight to my face "your pain is your head go out and play!"
I started journaling in the morning, talking to the inner child at sunset (that brought lot of tears suddenly and quite unexpectedly)... after 15 days I was pain free!

July 2014
so now almost seven years passed by.. since my first visit. I am in a very different moment of my life. Almost 40! on july 22 on my flight back from italy I started to feel pain in my back again like I did 7-8 years ago!
why? what's wrong... I made the mistake of "forgetting" of Sarno. I went in full on a pattern that brought me to acupuncture, chiropractors, "NEW kind of surgery"... I got very scared this time I could not properly lift my left foot ( I still cant that much). Fear was the center of my days for the past month. "you are going to walk anymore if you dont take care of that pinched nerve I heard"
I got a new MRi and I have the same herniation I had 7 years ago. So why I was pain free for 7 years?
why I didnt think of Sarno? why this time the sciatica pain (or call it whatever you feel like..) severly blocked my foot and I was going to limp for the rest of my life?
I thought it was different... back then my back hurt... now I can not command my foot properly!
"this is something serious" I thought! How stupid of me.
3 Days ago I re-read dr.Sarno book mindbody.. and suddenly all made sense...
I am on the day 2 of your program... I will start to meditate and understand what's going on.
I feel much better... Yesterday I ran into say hello to my friend Nicola.
I was very happy. I am going to play tennis this weekend, with or without pain or numb foot.

I will be stronger than that.

my only concern but I guess I already replied to myself is... "if I was diagnosed with TMS 7 years ago by dr.Sarno himself, with prettymuch the same MRi, how can I be sure is the case now as well?"
Pain is zero, foot is acting not 100%

thank you!
Jacopo

p.s. I still dont know exactly what is my "anger" coming from but I am working on it.

 

Hi, Jacop. How fortunate you were to meet with Dr. Sarno and learn from him about TMS.
You then healed, and will heal again if you just keep believing your pain is from TMS repressed emotions
and/or a perfectionist and "goodist" personality. Doctors and therapy hasn't helped you. You just
have to believe again in TMS, totally, 100 percent, then you will heal.

You need to do journaling to discover where your inner anger is coming from,
probably from your childhood.

Say happy and enjoy the tennis playing. Don't expect it to hurt or it will.

 

Hi. I went to Dr. Sarno in 2007 too. It was a very enlightening experience.
I have similar herniations to what you mention, and figure I probably still do. But I don't have the back pain.
What changes/stressors have happened in your life in these past few months (or from the time you felt the back pain again)? There may be a connection to the physical pain.

 

Hi Jacopo, welcome, and give yourself a big hug for being here!

We have SO many visitors here who found relief some years ago, and went on with their lives only to have TMS bother them again later on. Clearly this is very common, and, as Lori mentions, you'll want to look at the changes in your life and your outlook that might have brought it on again. Maybe it's something specific - or, maybe, as in my case, it's the creeping "rage of age" that's starting to get to you.

If you've never read Dr. Sarno's last book, The Divided Mind, I would recommend it, because six of the chapters are written by other doctors (five MDs and a therapist, actually) who bring six new perspectives to TMS theory. I believe it was in one of those chapters (I hope my memory is right) where I read that we can experience rage simply due to the fact of ageing.

Now, that is a source of rage that has nothing to do with childhood, but just the opposite - the inevitability of our future - and it is a worthwhile reason for rage! Perhaps your TMS is flaring because turning 40 is causing you to worry about your mortality - but your brain doesn't want you to think about your mortality, so it shuts down those dangerous negative thoughts by bringing back the old familiar pain.

That's just one thought. There are many, many reasons why you might be experiencing TMS again after seven years, but you've come to the right place to explore them, so keep posting, working on the SEP, and keep up the excellent positive attitude!

~Jan