thank you, @Trellis for for those recommendations. @JanAtheCPA gave me some advice on journaling and that's been helpful, too - thank you. i'm happy to report that i'm over the hill -- at the 50% better mark and making progress everyday, especially after seeing the surgeon and his lack of explanation for my pain. i became even more committed to Sarno and have been listening to HBP daily. i'm almost ready to begin my normal activity again. my wife (a kindergarten teacher) also showed me the book, "The Good Egg" and it's written for anyone who saw themselves as "Goodists" when reading Sarno. there's some good advice i that book too. if you're ready that and you're still struggling after accepting your TMS diagnosis, don't give up. focus on whatever positive thing you can! i found it helpful to find moments in my day where i wasn't thinking about the pain. For example, i played Sushi Go against my daughter for nearly an hour and didn't think about my pain once. Find ways to distract yourself and then use those moments to remind yourself that your brain is driving the pain. It's like you have to brainwash yourself. Given my current pace for feeling better, i should be 100% in a 1 or 2 weeks. i'll let you know!