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I fell into a trap

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by DaveBrad, Aug 3, 2017.

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  1. DaveBrad

    DaveBrad New Member

    I tried to go for a jog in which, didn't cause any pain during or 10 mins after, however, as I started to fear the symptoms come on I started to feel more pain. And then a full blow panic attack and increasing symptoms.

    Now I find myself in more pain than before the jog, almost a week and a half afterwards, wtf can I do... My confidence is low, and can understand why my symptoms may have increased for a bit but don't understand why I'm still so uncomfortable.

    I have higher level of fear and anxeity, and I'm possibly furious at myself for jumping the gun with the jog. I was such a small jog and couldn't have hurt me much, but my fear of it was extreme afterwards. Please help, I'm in a lot of pain and I can't get out of this flare up
     
  2. Gigalos

    Gigalos Beloved Grand Eagle

    Take it easy, Dave. Rome wasn't built in one day.
    Your mind is trying to protect you from going for a jog again. The thought only is enough to set things on fire, because a part really believes that it is dangerous and that you shouldn't.
    I have had the same issues although it was with walking (because I hate running :) ). It took me many months to be able to walk a decent distant. I suddenly recognized that crap always started hitting the fan at the halfway point... 'Oh shit, I hope I'll make it back...'. Anxiety hit and I tensed up. That insight gave me the confidence that I could at least walk half of the intended distance without issues. At the halfway point I started using techniques like soothing the mind that it is safe, trying not to think but just pay attention to the wonders of nature surrounding me, telling myself that even if it would take hours I would make it, even it would be at hands and knees. Sometimes I felt empowered enough to walk without problems, sometimes I had a bad day and I fell into the usual traps. But over time it slowly reprogrammed me to a point that I simply forgot I had problems in the first place.
    So, again, take your time and one day you'll be jogging without problems.
     
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  3. MWsunin12

    MWsunin12 Beloved Grand Eagle

    You didn't jump the gun with the jog. I found, for myself, that if I have a flare up...and I start paying attention to the symptoms constantly...that it stays around. Being "furious" at yourself is fueling that fire of having it stay.

    This helped for me. Write all this out., the anger you feel at yourself and then ask how and when you "learned" to be so intolerant of yourself. It was eye-opening for me.

    Just a suggestion. This pain will pass. It will pass sooner if you ask yourself, "why do I need to be in pain right now?" It's about kindness and reprogramming the nervous system. It's been a substantial learning process for me.

    Here's to a better day for you, Dave.
     
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  4. DaveBrad

    DaveBrad New Member

    Thanks MWsunin12, Will give it a go. I have always been hard on myself, and i know that the pain is a result of the frustration of feeling like i have "failed" the program (perfectionist i know). I believe i becomes from my mother and father separation, and reinforced by a emotionally abusive step parent who made me feel like a failure. I do struggle to feel deeply, which in itself something i need to work on through somatic tracking and journaling
     
  5. DaveBrad

    DaveBrad New Member

    I'm also very hard on myself for mistakes that i have made, going back to the first Injury i had, which i believe i hold resentment from myself for. I really want to explore these feelings but i struggle to break through barriers my brain has put up.
     
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  6. Gigalos

    Gigalos Beloved Grand Eagle

    Here's an affirmation for you: 'Despite everything, I accept myself and I appreciate myself'....if you are up to it, you can even add the verb 'love' into this affirmation. It may sound a bit corny at first, but it is really powerful when you notice that you are full of self critique.
     
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  7. MWsunin12

    MWsunin12 Beloved Grand Eagle

    You've had a lot of hurt already, so of course you shut down. I like what Gigalos said above. Remember that you're an adult now, free of those oppressive parental figures. Set them free from your mind and tell them that they are no longer welcome. Explore the possibilities available to you now. You're a young guy. You can get by ALL of this pain. Be grateful that you found Sarno young and not after decades of letting yourself be in pain. You already know where it came from. Now, it's just reminding yourself everyday that those messages are false and you don't have to think them anymore.
     
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  8. DaveBrad

    DaveBrad New Member

    I really appreciate the advice Marcia, It's really nice to have the support :)
     
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