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I feel trapped in a loop due to physical injury

T

tether

Newcomer
Years ago I used the TMS principles to get rid of back pain entirely bar a very occasional sudden bout that I can kill within a day by acknowledging what it is. I have a lot of physical damage in my lower extremities due to bad surgeries so not all the pain in my life is solvable and I had and have continued to have great life difficulties due to disability and losing my security, savings, relationships etc, but I was able to decently differentiate which was TMS and which not and at least not have that added to the brew of crap.

I recently injured my knees. I waited hoping it was just a minor thing. The pain didn't go away for months so I went to the doctor and an MRI showed a "probable small meniscal tear". The doctor to his credit said "I don't know if I could help...it's 50/50 with results like this if a scope and any work would help." Studies also show scopes for meniscus tears that aren't huge and mechanically locking results in little net gain and people a year out who opted to do PT instead are just as well off. But it's been 8 months and I am still not any better and PT didnt help.

I reread two of Sarno's books again and the pain decreased significantly...it was REALLY bad. But it won't go away and is still a big problem. Sometimes I can talk flares in that area down when it gets bad again and the whole knee area hurts...but I still have other pain in the joint with certain movements that makes me highly suspicious. I just can't figure out if it's 100% TMS or if the physical damage is causing some of it and I can't convince my conscious mind, let alone subconscious, that it's all TMS if I honestly don't know...so I feel trapped.

I don't want to have surgery...surgery has almost always made me worse. I also know lots of people have meniscus tears as a part of aging and they don't cause pain. At the same time some people have tears that DO cause pain. It's not black and white in this type of injury. I wish I never had the MRI as that would make differentiating easier. If I didn't know there was a tear and I got better applying principles....TMS. If I didn't..scope needed. But since it's ambiguous and I can't be sure it's causing me to feel trapped.

As all reasonable people familiar with TMS know...not EVERYTHING is TMS. If this was my fist rodeo I would have had the surgery already. But I am afraid now.

Edit: Ironically after writing this I stood up and my lower back seized up. I immediately knew it was TMS. Has happened at most once a year or so in the last years and I know it's TMS. It will take a day or so to go away from past experience so that's more annoying crap even though I know it's not really injured. I hate this stupid "disease". It's so powerful and my life is so full of problems that keep piling on that I don't see how I can ever get ahead of it. Things were bad enough...the knees have been a real problem this last year...and now my back hurts so today is more frustrating. I can't keep managing more and more.
 
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Well this is very disappointing. 5 days ago I posted and watched as every other post after mine got responses...even one very similar...while mine was ignored. So much for "support".

I can't find an option to delete the account or the posts but I would do so if it were possible. It's getting pretty old in life being ignored whilst suffering.

Good Bye.
 
Hi tether,

I don't know why you didn't get a response to your post, but I just saw your post today. Sometimes due to the timing of a post, it slips by and people don't see it to respond. Most importantly, please don't take it personally. We are all here to support one another.

You've recovered from TMS in the past and you can do it again. Your doubts based on the MRI results are holding you back. I haven't had the situation you describe when an MRI shows problems, so I can't offer much help in this regard, but I know many people on the forum have. Hopefully, they will see this thread and offer you some support and advice based on their similar experience. It is a holiday weekend in many places, so there is less participation on the forum right now.

Hang in there. There is much wisdom and experience on this forum and lots of great information on the tmswiki. I'm sure someone with a similar experience will get back to you soon. In the meantime, if you decide to stay on the forum, look around at other threads. Just put the search terms in the search box at the top right of the page and you will find many discussions of the issues relevant to you.

Wishing you the best...
 
If you're still around sorry you feel hurt but that sometimes happens at message boards. I don't know what to add to your post, since you're knowledgeable about TMS and you pretty well answered your own question. If you want support, I'll support you in not rushing to go under the knife, I've been successfully avoiding that for about 15 years. Most people I see who have surgery, become surgery groupies, having one after another until they are almost totally bionic and do less and less physically. Some I think are just in it for the drugs/pain-killers.
 
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I would avoid surgery if I was told I needed it. I just have had been advice about surgery in the past.
A leading area cancer surgeon said he saw a tiny pimple on my neck and immediately scheduled surgery for me.
I insisted that a culture be taken first. I almost had to wrestle him to the ground before he agree.
A culture was taken and I waited an anxious week for the results. His office didn't call me so I called them.
A nurse looked up my case and said it was nothing, just a little water pimple, and to forget it. I save myself
from having my neck cut into needlessly. Ever since then, I am skeptical about doctors and surgery.

Give TMS a chance to heal you. It's healed thousands of others, me included. But it takes total 100 percent
belief that pain is from TMS. If part of you thinks it may be structural, the pain will remain.
 
Hello tether: Your story about knee sounds something like mine. Had a "small meniscal tear" in right knee confirmed on MRI in 2010 and was doing Sarno's stuff back then for other issues. For me, I ignored the MRI results and did not have any problems whatsoever for five years. (Read a lot of mind body stuff then because I was under significant stress). I am a very active 63 year old female (run, long distance cycle, HIIT classes, etc) and put a lot of impact on that knee and it never bothered me. However, fast forward to now and both knees had been acting up pretty bad and decided to have two more MRIs (#1 mistake there I personally feel). Confirmed bilateral horizontal cleavage tears that according to both my orthopedic docs could be scoped but they actually were NOT adamant about the surgery at all; so for me that was a huge plus for me to pretty much ignore findings on MRI and continue to do the things that I enjoy activity wise (except for running which I do really miss). Modified some stuff in gym too. I really dont care what MRI shows and going with just what Sarno advises...don't sit on your behind and get out there and do some form of activity. Now if I could just get my hip labrum tear pain to dissipate...but thats another issue. I agree with Tennis Tom...use your TMS knowledge.
 
I hear you when you say NOT EVERYTHING is TMS. I have found that to be true. When I eat gluten for example I have a reaction that feels very much like an irritation my body is better off without. The body doesn't lie. And yet there is always more to the story...

TMS pain as I sink into it I can feel my pain switching from place to place in a way that says to me: I AM NOT REALLY PHYSICAL. I am fear. I am anger. Sometimes it's just a question of calling a spade a spade and explaining "I DON"T NEED THIS PAIN" as a distraction. I have the resources I need to feel my feelings.

Sounds like you need a big hug...:)

I have been listening to Louise Hay's book ALL is Well. The book goes through emotional/spiritual/&physical healing for every body part. I haven't heard her mention knees yet but I am so curious what she would say about it.
 
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