I have found an analytical physchotherapist and feel hope. I feel saved - my emotions are coming through. I am starting to feel, I am starting to care for myself. I feel happy, I feel ecstatic. I feel joy, i feel joy. This is amazing, I don't know how to describe it. This is the best feeling on earth. I want to continue, I want to keep going. I love myself - that makes me feel so at peace, so loved. I feel great. Yes there is still anxiety and hesitation. Yes I still do feel very uncomfortable and the thought of caring for myself emotionally makes my stomach knot and churn. But I don't care, I am starting to feel self compassion and love. I love myself. I don't need to prove myself and qualify that statement, it is o.k. to love myself. I love and care for myself.