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Day 5 I don't really know what I enjoy!

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Shakermaker, Nov 1, 2018.

  1. Shakermaker

    Shakermaker Peer Supporter

    Did anyone else realise this on Day 5? I really don't know what I enjoy. I can't remember the last time I had genuine fun. I don't really know what to do.

    If anyone else had this, is there anything you did to help come to a realisation of what you enjoy?

    I enjoy going to gigs, but choice is obviously limited there? I would like to go out and meet more women and was thinking of hiring some kind of dating coach (nothing sleazy like pick-up or anything like that). Also generally just improve my social skills also and get a coach in that area. But again its not so easy here in Germany as in the US for example.

    I was at a Latin American festival on Saturday, as well as a Spanish restaurant which were nice and gave me some reconnection with my background of studying Spanish and backpacking in South America. Maybe that's a sign of where I could find more fulfilment.

    Anyway, just sounding off a little. I'm going to play around with my guitar for a little while and then make a start on journaling.
  2. LouVes

    LouVes New Member

    Hi Shakermaker,
    I'm also on day 5 and initially had the same reaction to you although there're are lots of things I love doing. I just couldn't think of one.
    So, I toned it down to an everyday level which made it easier.
    I live in France, so I chose watching TV in English which is just a simple pleasure I almost never indulge in because I put my needs after everyone else's... and they are all French and don't want to make the effort of watching in English.
    Why not try thinking simple, it might make it easier for you?
    Shakermaker likes this.
  3. Shakermaker

    Shakermaker Peer Supporter

    Thanks LouVes. I'll try. Although I think even on a simple level it's difficult at the moment. Often I like to sit and watch a football game on TV or listen to some music. But recently when I do that I get restless and have the feeling that I want to be more active, or around more people. I guess it will just have to be a case of really asking myself in my free moments what I would really like to do now more than anything else and just do it (providing it's something I can logistically do at that time without difficulty - not like going on a trip or something)
  4. LouVes

    LouVes New Member

    Well, it's an exercise in prioritising yourself, so if you feel like you need to be around people, then it may be as simple as that. Go to where the people are and enjoy having given yourself something you need. It can only do you good!
    Shakermaker likes this.
  5. Shakermaker

    Shakermaker Peer Supporter

    I did the other part of Day 5 today, the journaling. I guess I will improve at that but I managed 2 or 3 paragraphs in 15-20 minutes. I'm starting to suspect that there's a whole well of anger and sadness formed over 30 years that I've just buried or ignored. I'm wondering whether doing this work will lead to me finally letting it all out and if so, how would that feel.

    Having only been working on this for a few days, I've realised that lots of things make me angry, especially when I rightly or wrongly feel wronged by somebody. In that situation I tend to feel a pang of anxiety or self-hatred and then I rationalise it away that it was nothing really or just ignore it and bury it. In the last few days I've been trying to discreetly vent it. It might just imagine myself calling that person who I perceived to have wronged me some horrifically rude name. I don't know if that is good or not but I tend to feel better for having acknowledged that I feel anger.

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