I can't believe I did it! Yes, with a 21 day hiatus between the 5th and 6th week, but I did indeed finish. What did I learn about myself. Well 1) The symptoms are a survival tool. Today, I was out jogging and I thought to myself, would I really want to get rid of the symptoms and I thought hard and realized- no. I was not yet confident in my own abilities to handle life- and that's okay. I'll get there. The symptoms have literally been trying to keep me alive. I have been going through so much for about ten years non stop, and I can understand how they are trying to help me. Sometimes I am upset- sometimes I am grateful. But now I realize that they are a survival tool. 2) The amount of stuff I can repress is shocking. The first days of the program when someone asked me, 'what could you be feeling hopeless about?' and I said, 'nothing' and then went and wrote a list, and then went to bed, and then got up and wrote some more things, then went back to bed, and then found myself sobbing for what felt like HOURS. I had no idea that was going on. 3) There are some things in my life that need changing. Honestly. My life is not and was not going in a direction I was enjoying. I am choosing to go through Dr. Schechter's workbook next; and take a break from this, but can I still post on this website about progress and if so, where? I need the community. And still have symptoms. Thank you to everyone who has ever written to me- I appreciate you.