I can't stamd this weak body, I need help

[thoms]

Hi everybody,
Here I am after 2 weeks of knowing TMS, Im persuading myself that all of the pain are the way the brain chose to distract me from my emotions but still nothing has changed. Every move I make it hurts and because I searched for every pain back in the days before TMS I know which muscles is involved and I overthinked about it. I feel no emotions actually, I just feel pure rage or pure hatred since I know all of my pain come from my f*cking brain that make my life a pure nightmare since 3 years. I can't live because of the pain I can't be what I wanted to be so I feel a lot of sadness too. I tried to play basketball but I finally finished on the ground like a dead corpse shouting to my brain to let me live or feel these repressions emotions.

What I can I do? I can't stand it anymore.

 

[MariaK]

Hi Thoms, I'm sorry you're struggling so much. TMS can be very frustrating. And I have felt hopeless at times, even once I knew I had TMS. Two weeks is not very much time. Simply knowing that your mind is causing the problem, is just a beginning. It isn't the solution to the whole thing. (Except maybe for a small percentage of people). I think you're very focused on your pain ending, right now, today! And you have to let that go. It's like playing a trick on your brain. Of course, you want the pain to end, but you have to let go of focusing so hard on it. Also, have compassion for yourself, that you are suffering. (I often get frustrated with myself that I am sick. I mean, unconsciously, I'm frustrated with myself. And that just makes my symptoms worse. It helps me to replace that with compassion).

Take things one day at a time. Just focus on what you're dealing with today, for today. Worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Maybe do a search here on hopeless or frustrated. Start the Structured Educational Program. Read Sarno's books. You are at the beginning of finding a solution. So, things are going to get better. Just maybe not nearly as quickly as you would like.

Hang in there!

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi thoms,

I appreciate MariaK's response, and I understand your desperation.

shouting to my brain to let me live or feel these repressions emotions.

Is a powerful wish for yourself, a powerful prayer. I suggest you continue, with a version of this, perhaps less passionate: Tell your mind/body "You can stop the pain, I am willing to feel my emotions." Use this many times a day, without desperation if you can. Allowing that you know what needs to be done, and you're asking for it. And give your mind/body time to take in this message, maybe several weeks. By asking for this you are taking a very brave stance.

You're also instilling confidence at many levels that you know what's going on, and you're asking for the specific understanding which you need to relieve the inner tension.

Do the SEP too. And as M suggests, and cultivate self-compassion. I like this meditation as a start:

https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/self-compassion.break_.mp3

Also, read Success Stories every day in the subforum above.

Andy

 

[thoms]

Thanks for your help both of you.

Actually, I'm trying the SEP for one week and the Pain Recovery Program too. I persuade myself to feel emotions and let my physical condition away from the pain but I can't feel anything unless emotions related to the pain. I have a very scientific person and all of the spiritual way of thinking is hard to understand.

 

[grapefruit]

Like I said in my other post, take smaller steps in challenging the pain. Going out and playing a sport is too big of a challenge for your brain this early on. It took me 10 weeks to get back into sports, and I have zero pain now. And even then I had small, annoying setbacks during sports, like extreme muscle stiffness, for a couple of months. Sarno himself says it takes most people an average of six weeks, and of course many people take more.

Is there a small or simple bodily movement you can challenge? For example, bending over, sitting in a chair, turning your neck a certain way, wearing a particular shoe, walking up and down the stairs, etc - what everyday, normal activity brings on pain and fear? Breathe deeply for a few minutes to relax your nervous system, then sit in that chair or bend over or whatever, in a slow and relaxed motion, talking to your brain in a calm, reassuring voice and continuing to take deep breaths. If the pain does flare up, stay calm and keep breathing calmly and reassuring yourself. Fear and frustration activate the nervous system, and you want to calm it down and teach the brain that sitting in a chair or whatever activity is not harmful. I had to do this many times - I went up and down stairs dozens and dozens of times (over a period of days/weeks) until my brain finally stopped initiating pain during that activity. Eventually I just realized I didn't have to talk myself through it anymore and couldn't even remember when the pain had actually stopped.