zenyatta20
New Member
I believe in TMS and have been doing all the work. I have been journaling, meditating and reading all the helpful books as well as listening to impact theory podcasts on how to be a better person, and Nicole Sachs and Pain free you podcasts and videos. I am devoting time to improving my whole life, but trying at the same time to keep a distance and not over indulge my pain. However, not just due to the corona virus, my life is very stressful and I am having on some days more pain than before . Some times, there is no pain in the morning or later at night, or lesser than before. The location of the pain is changing and it definitely flares when I journal or feel my emotions. I have a lot to fear right now in my life. It is hard for me because my pain is worse when I have to sit or lie down, and with the quarantine right now there is not a lot to do. However, I am walking close to 3-5 miles a day and last year at this time I was bed ridden. I feel ashamed about my pain, that it overtakes me but I am trying to ignore it the best that I can and not give it meaning. I wish there was a way to know when it would go away but I understand that I can not focus on that, because that is indulging the pain and giving it meaning and asking it to stay. So I continue to meditate and journal and read self help books about emotions. I am balancing that with trying to find some things to laugh about and a gratitude journal. I have complete 100% faith this is TMS. It is just that the perfectionist in me wants to fix this , and the answer to that is to let it go which is hard.