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i’m lost and don’t know what to do. need advice.

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by stevow7, Nov 2, 2019.

  1. stevow7

    stevow7 Well known member

    hello guys! so i went to the endocrinologist yesterday because of several reasons related to hormone imbalances and the doctor wants to investigate more into cortisol since several labs shows high cortisol levels.

    i’m a very anxious, overthinker person and i decided to improve this. the thing is, the majority of the times i workout i feel more exhausted, especially mental exhaustion.

    i asked the doc if the gym is a reason why i feel like this and he said that it shouldn’t be.

    i took a week off the gym and i’m feeling better everyday. now i’m extremely wanting to go back, but i’m scared to go back because i’m feeling much better mentally and physically. why weightlift if it causes problems?

    i want to improve my life, but i fear weightlifting if it’s impacting me negatively.

    i think it can and must be tms because the majority of the times i blame how i feel by weightlifting.

    it’s like i think most of my symptoms are caused by it.

    i’m actually wanting to go back with the mentallity that i will enjoy it and not think the gym is harming me, but i fear that it will push me back.

  2. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    If you lift weights with the correct form and in moderation, it will only be beneficial for you. Anyone who overdoes it or overtrains would feel sore and tired. I think there is a middle ground between fearing the gym and overdoing it to the point of injury. My knowledge of fitness is zero, but at the end of the day it's all about mindset. Lifting weights and doing cardio is the same things as eating a healthy diet. It only becomes a problem when the thinking around it is obsessive. I think you should do what feels good to you physically and mentally.
    stevow7 likes this.
  3. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi steveow 7,

    I have a thought: Go to the gym and don't do any physical exercise a couple of times. Just hang out, sense into your body, notice how you're impacted by the environment: feelings, desires, fears, inner critic activity. Also notice afterwards or during, your current symptom levels. Do your symptoms respond one way or another?

    Linden, EricFeelsThisWay and stevow7 like this.
  4. stevow7

    stevow7 Well known member

    yeah, i was and still am obsessive about wanting to progress in the gym for sure, but this time, i’m going to start slow and go with a different mindset and not wanting to push myself over the limit every workout.

    thanks a lot for replying!
  5. stevow7

    stevow7 Well known member

    since i know it’s tms related, i was and probably still be going to the gym today (it’s 12:46 am so it’s sunday :p), but after reading your reply. i’m going to actually enter the gym and listen to my body. i’m going to see how i feel. after some today in the gym i’m probably going to exercise because since like i said it’s tms related, i don’t want tms to distract me from exercising and wanting me to stay home.

    now, if it was Steve O, he probably would go ham in the gym and forget he haves brain fog or mental fatigue because he might see it as tms. after reading his book and remembering things he did to get his life back. i’m pretty sure he would workout feeling fatigued. would he?

    all i know is that, i was (still kinda am) always looking up on why i felt and feel this way. always worried that i might get worst, worried that i won’t be able to exercise, fear of lifting weights if i stop and get better (thats whats happening right now), constant over thinking. always blaming stuff for how i feel. constantly watching my symptoms and looking online. i even read about adrenal fatigue and what if i have that?

    but i decided to stop. stop watching so damn much info online and try to stop listening to my symptoms. i want to improve my quality of life, but i don’t want to drop weightlifting because even tho i obsess about it at times, i also have goals that i would like to achieve. i just need guidance tho.

    one thing i’m a bit confused, should we listen to our body if it’s exhausted knowing part is tms related? i had back pain. dissapeared. now it’s back sometimes and it seems tms move to mostly psychological now.

    thanks a lot for replying!
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2019
  6. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi again, when you are exhausted it's counter productive to work out (even if it's partly TMS). Tired is tired so trying to fight that is being in a state of resistance. Sometimes we overthink things instead of doing what feels right at the moment intuitively. Part of why you are exhausted is because you are in your head way too much. The key is to just "be" rather than do and think all the time. The body has it's own inner wisdom that does't require you to always impose your will on it. I hope that makes sense lol!
    stevow7 likes this.
  7. stevow7

    stevow7 Well known member

    so after a little more of a week off i decided to go today. yesterday i was so extremely excited to workout that i even went to bed excited to workout. today i went and was energized and pumped. once i started working out my mental fatigued kicked in and i started focusing on symptoms. i reduced volume and intensity of my workout, but still had the overthinking. i was like “i’m already regressing to what i was. idk what to do”. i finished the workout but with fear of “will i be able to workout again”? reason i went is because i overthink stuff too much and listen to symptoms. i’m accepting what i’m going thro, but i will stop focusing on symptoms and live life while slowly adding intensity and volume to workouts.

    i also know there are success stories about chronic fatigue around here that i’m interested in reading. that motivates me even more.
  8. stevow7

    stevow7 Well known member

    @Andy Bayliss,


    yesterday night i was extremely pumped to hit the weights. i even went to sleep thinking about hitting the gym. i took a bit more than a week off and decided to go today. i was so excited and pumped that i even forgot to stand and or walk around the gym to see how i feel, but i remembered and did it anyways for a moment. i noticed a sense of fear of regressing more than happiness and excitement to hit the weights.

    i experience this fear days before and even this morning. i feared that i will get mental exhausted again. want to know what? i still went and hit the weights knowing this is partly tms. just when starting, on the very first set i experience the mental fatigue. i freaked out, but tried to do my workout slowly while reducing intensity and volume. it came to a time that i stopped enjoying it and just wanted to leave.

    now i’m typing this while exhausted.

    there are several reasons why i want to weightlift and tbh if i don’t do this i have almost to nothing else to do during my day and just overthink a lot.

    now i’m like “what am i going to do?”, “is weightlifting not for me?”.

    i was extremely motivated to hit the gym with full of energy. now i’m depressed and 0 motivation once again.

    sorry for being like this, but i’m just looking for help.

    tonight co workers wants me to go play basketball and i’m overthinking it “i will get burned out”. i won’t let this thoughts hold me back tho.

    i will go and enjoy!

    i’m wanting to read success stories here about chronic fatigue.
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2019
  9. stevow7

    stevow7 Well known member

    update: so i decided to take a break from the gym. i took almost 2 weeks off. i continue reading “Hope and Help for your nerves” by Dr. Claire Weekes and i also read a bunch about chronic fatigue syndrome here. i was actually feeling great and i was planning on taking a full month off, but after reading and having better mindset i said i will try the gym again and i did yesterday, heres the thing. right now i have the same mental fatigue that i used to have, i think even worst than before. can’t think straight, no mental clarity, i feel like vomiting and even lost motivation. weird thing is i don’t physically feel so drained, mostly mental.

    i’m trying to stop thinking about symptoms, but it’s harder than i tho.

    i accept it’s tms because of what i’m going thro.

    i do have a history of hormonal problems with low red and white blood cells.

    why is it that i just feel horrible when i train, but gradually get better if i stop training?

    i truly don’t know what to do. i ask therapists and doctors and not a single one told me to stop training.

    edit: i just came home and from work and feel better. i don't get too much stressful from work. in fact, i was actually motivated to go to work, but lost that motivation after some time while working.
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2019
  10. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    I think you have formed a mental association with the gym and it's become kind of an ingrained habit as well as a false belief. I also think your preoccupation with hormones, cortisol, red and white blood cells etc. is just another form of TMS. You have formed all these mental images in you head of things that are wrong with you. I have hypothyroid and high cortisol for ex. but whatever...I take thyroid meds and try not to stress out. High cortisol is from stress. Of course you have it lol! Going to the gym can only benefit you (and balance hormones and reduce cortisol by the way) but it's your THOUGHTS around the subject that is the problem...not the working out. You could have the an olympic workout routine and the diet of champions but if your thoughts are distorted, none of that will matter. TMS always comes down to our thoughts, emotions and life.
    Linden and stevow7 like this.
  11. stevow7

    stevow7 Well known member

    i’m also with you on this. since i’m improving a lot of things in my life i’m finding the gym hard to just let it go. the reason why i keep updating here it’s because like i said, doctors keep telling me it’s not the gym, but yeah i feel worst sometimes when going and thats the reason why i keep blaming the gym. you’re right tho, i developed this thought that the gym is hurting me more. i know i will restore my life because i’m positive and i know i will truly recover from this. i accept and believe it’s tms.

    i didn’t wanted to post the update, but i did it because i’m feeling lost, but i have hope and will regain interest in maybe this and or in other things.

    thank a lot for replying!
  12. Linden

    Linden New Member

    Just a thought @stevow7 but how about finding a different activity to replace going to the gym - anything else you might like, just to see if it breaks the pattern of how you feel. I'm a complete beginner but getting on pretty well with reducing my pain.
  13. stevow7

    stevow7 Well known member

    hey! i was thinking of doing tennis, but i sat down watching people doing it and got pretty bored and lost interest fast. i might give it another go tho. i’m really interested in fencing, which i did in the past. also interested in learning more about calisthenics.

    i tried yoga and did not like it a bit.

    i’m even actually thinking of combining weightlifting with running or with another sport.
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2019
    Linden likes this.
  14. Linden

    Linden New Member

    Sounds to me like you're on the right track now @stevow7 - this is a difficult path but without question the right path we're all on, and it seems to me it's just a matter of negotiating the rocks and puddles along the way! Very best of luck, let us know how you're getting on.
    stevow7 likes this.
  15. stevow7

    stevow7 Well known member

    yeah, i’m trying to discover what i truly like. maybe just do different thing or maybe combining one thing with another. good luck to you too! thanks a lot for replying!
  16. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Excellent advice!!! Glad you're thinking this way too stevow7. I hope you find something fun, interesting, and different for awhile.
    stevow7 and Linden like this.
  17. stevow7

    stevow7 Well known member

  18. freedomseeker

    freedomseeker Peer Supporter

    Hi @stevow7,

    I can tell you with 100% certainty that you do not have adrenal fatigue. This “condition” is TMS. It falls into the same category as fibromyalgia, which is also TMS. I struggled with this for a long time, also believing I had it. But I don’t have it and neither do you. Neither does anyone. Don’t fall into that trap. Your brain is trying to find a valid reason for your fatigue symptoms and it wants you to link your symptoms with a condition so that it can feel like it’s resolving it in your mind to calm your fear and anxiety around your symptoms. Instead, continue doing the work involving feeling your emotions and journaling and meditation, etc. sounds like the fatigue is doing a great job at distracting you from your emotions. What is really going on underneath? Focus on that and your nervous system will realize you are safe and won’t need to give you symptoms to distract you anymore. It sounds simple and easy and I know that it is not. I’m still struggling with fatigue myself and post exertional malaise (following working out) just like you. I understand your frustration. Think about what your symptoms are trying to tell you. Pay attention to your inner child. And allow yourself to bring up and explore uncomfortable feelings that have been repressed and hidden.
    stevow7 likes this.
  19. EricFeelsThisWay

    EricFeelsThisWay Peer Supporter

    There must be something about going to the gym that your subconscious brain doesn’t want you to acknowledge. For me, it’s the feeling of “Why do I have to compare myself to all these other people whose bodies are nicer than mine?” There’s A LOT of inferiority, inadequacy, incompetence, insecurity (I call them the “in’s”.) Question to myself: What motivations that aren’t for my highest good underlying this desire to work out?
    grapefruit, stevow7 and Linden like this.
  20. stevow7

    stevow7 Well known member

    hello! i’m actually feeling better, but the symtpoms strikes hard when i workout sometimes and sometimes the next day. like yesterday i had a great workout, felt fine and today i woke up feeling great, but a bit after i started feeling fatigued and overthinking everything like “should i stop weightlifting or working out to actually recover? why do i feel like this?” tbh i got sudden interest in weightlifting, but randomly goes away. sometimes i’m it comes and goes suddently. tbh, the thing that makes me want to quit the gym is because i don’t have the energy to perform exercise sometimes. i have certain goals, like i want to gain strength, gain muscle, feel that energy people talks about after exercise (which i sometimes do tbh), and gain weight in both, muscle and fat. i say and fat too because i’m willing to put fat on me since i have been obsess with body image for a long time and not wanting to put fat and i accepted that in order to put some weight, i need fat too and fat is a necessity for overall health too. i say the gain weight stuff because i had and still have an eating disorder, but i’m improving and freeing myself from restriction of food slowly, but surely. tbh i have lost a lot of motivation and interest in going and makes me think, “should i go?” “why am i really doing this if im not enjoying it sometimes or most of the times”. i do want to say that i do not enjoy it because i find it hard to get that energy to lift and because i lost interest and motivation which im trying to regain.

    i’m also looking in other stuff to do, like tennis (for this one i would like to keep watching people play it because last time i saw people playing it i found it boring. so i’ll keep watching.), fencing and even calisthenics (need to look for more info on this one since im not truly feeling interested)

    i also want to start doing cardio. weird because i never found interest in that, but i do now lol.
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2019

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