I’m done

[Mani]

I’m sorry about

your pain Marcos. I just became a member minutes ago and your post is the first thing I’ve read. But sadly I can relate to, at least somewhat, how you feel as my nights and mornings are just me and my shoulder pain in survival mode as the pain is so severe I cannot sleep and in the morning barely have enough strength to sit up on my couch and have my morning coffee.
Alan, or ANYONE, please help us both and anyone else like us, AND NOW PLEASE! Before it’s too late!

You are in SURVIVAL MODE, mate. You just said it yourself. How do you expect to get your brain to calm down if you need help NOW? Youre even insinuating youre gonna off yourself. Come on man... Incredibly weird to threaten with suicide in your first post.

Like @JanAtheCPA says: RADICAL ACCEPTANCE. Your life sucks, try to live with your life sucking. I've used this analogy before, but does the blind man make do with his shortcomings, or does he waste his entire life trying to see? You can come up with whatever analogy you like, but youre out of options, theres nothing beyond TMS. You havent gotten better through traditional medicine. We provide a safe space for anyone willing to come here to improve, even if just the tiniest bit.

First you can start fixing your attitude, then start writing about your struggles til your hand falls off. Give it an honest shot. You got absolutely nothing to lose.

Edit: And no, Alan Gordon isnt just gonna walk in like the second coming of Jesus fucking Christ fixing all of your problems. WE CANT FIX YOUR PROBLEMS. We can only try to do our best to support you

 

[Mani]

And I may have been a tad bit aggressive for a newcomer. I get that sometimes people just feel incredibly hopeless. I just felt offended that the people who run this out of nothing but the goodness of their heart were suddenly attacked by people who have barely been here. I personally received some tough love too when i first came here, I felt like it was uncalled for. But a mindset like this needs to get calles out. You cant just make other people responsible for your own life. Its a mindset like that which gives you TMS in the first place

I get how hopeless you feel, trust me, i have nothing. I can do absolutely nothing. You however, need to stop outsourcing responsibity.

Maybe try to wake up one day and think: 'Wow, my life fucking sucks. What can I do today to make my life suck 1% less?' Please get back at us when you actually wanna try yourself to get better. And there will be incredible folks who are way more knowledgeable than I, and they will guide you. God bless

 

[JohnWinner]

And I may have been a tad bit aggressive for a newcomer. I get that sometimes people just feel incredibly hopeless. I just felt offended that the people who run this out of nothing but the goodness of their heart were suddenly attacked by people who have barely been here. I personally received some tough love too when i first came here, I felt like it was uncalled for. But a mindset like this needs to get calles out. You cant just make other people responsible for your own life. Its a mindset like that which gives you TMS in the first place

I get how hopeless you feel, trust me, i have nothing. I can do absolutely nothing. You however, need to stop outsourcing responsibity.

Maybe try to wake up one day and think: 'Wow, my life fucking sucks. What can I do today to make my life suck 1% less?' Please get back at us when you actually wanna try yourself to get better. And there will be incredible folks who are way more knowledgeable than I, and they will guide you. God bless

You sure sound like you have figured it all Mani! Impressive for someone who doesn't seem to have healed himself! That is what I call mumbo jumbo! You repeat the gospel as it is a religion and you believe it because you need hope. Echo chamber like you said. If I am here it's because I believe TMS is responsible of a LOT of conditions. It doesn't mean it is the source of everything. Many with my condition (Ankylosing Spondylitis) healed by working on traumas/emotions but I also know one guy who healed with antibiotics, it was an ITS triggering his immune system. So maybe get down from your high horse and just accept that sometimes maybe it doesn't work on everyone and it's very sane to have a FEW posts pointing that out.

 

[Mani]

You sure sound like you have figured it all Mani! Impressive for someone who doesn't seem to have healed himself! That is what I call mumbo jumbo! You repeat the gospel as it is a religion and you believe it because you need hope. Echo chamber like you said. If I am here it's because I believe TMS is responsible of a LOT of conditions. It doesn't mean it is the source of everything. Many with my condition (Ankylosing Spondylitis) healed by working on traumas/emotions but I also know one guy who healed with antibiotics, it was an ITS triggering his immune system. So maybe get down from your high horse and just accept that sometimes maybe it doesn't work on everyone and it's very sane to have a FEW posts pointing that out.

This has absolutely nothing to do with any high horse. I'm a work in progress. The books in the TMS space and this forum have given me incredible insights into the way my own behavior has caused my problems. This insight didnt happen overnight, i worked to get it.

My question to you would be: How well are you doing? I'm doing very good considering the circumstances, are you? How did your hip replacement work out? Any doctor thats helped you? If the answer to all these questions is no, why wont you give this forum a shot. You only came here with doubts and never committed to using the resources the people have put out here over the years. I'm learning to live with being terrible, I'm learning radical acceptance. What are you doing to improve your life, or do you only make accounts on forums to stop others from trying?

To me it sounds like you havent been able to get better yourself and are just telling yourself its out of your control. Thats TMS brain. Maybe start posting here for 6 months, ask for insights, things you may have missed before.

I can understand how incredibly painful it is to be so misunderstood by everyone. I have personally had 'help' from 'psychosomatic experts'. Well big surprise they didnt do shit. But i have nowhere to go and i have one heck of a lot of free time. So i decided to commit to give it everything ive got. Even if i dont get better from this, which would mean my life is functionally over, id still have learnt an incredible lot about myself and how i should approach the remainder of my life.

Funnily, you attack people who have gotten better (because they have gotten better, obviously theyd be positive), yet at the same time, you attack people who havent gotten better. Thats a faulty attitude. Zero people on this forum have seemingly had something similar to what i have and gotten better, or at least i havent found them yet. But im tired of feeling out of control, so ill take any control i still have and use it to make something of this forsaken life, even if merely an illusion.

Mind you, I started doing TMS work when i first got this and i got loads worse. Time passed without doing tms and my condition got worse and worse. Why did i come back when it didnt help before? Because i got no other fucking option. Not to be rude or anything, but it doesnt sound like you got loads of stuff better to do than to just sit down and write for an hour.

Have you finished the SEP?

 

[JohnWinner]

To me it sounds like you havent been able to get better yourself and are just telling yourself its out of your control.

This sentence is exactly what I am pointing out. You're not only writing like you have all figured it all for your case but also for a complete stranger! People like you are dangerous! I get that you want to help but most of the time a "I understand the struggle mate, don't give up!" is way more useful than a wall of text and the endless "Have you tried this? Have you tried that?".

 

[Mani]

This sentence is exactly what I am pointing out. You're not only writing like you have all figured it all for your case but also for a complete stranger! People like you are dangerous! I get that you want to help but most of the time a "I understand the struggle mate, don't give up!" is way more useful than a wall of text and the endless "Have you tried this? Have you tried that?".

Well yeah obviously. Youve gotten on this forum with this account, thats what im judging off of.

I dont think this back and forth is useful for either of us. Maybe im wrong, maybe im not. I am rooting for you, and I wish to see you prosper. For me personally, I dont have doubts if I have TMS, I have doubts whether im able to beat it. I fully believe in TMS, even if its a part of a larger less understood integral problem.

I dont believe I am dangerous. Yes, I actually try to help people, and I on my part, also need help.

We use diagnoses to identify with something, but if one person suffers from whatever and gets better reading a book, and another doesnt get better from anything, that means they dont have the same "disease", so the diagnosis for one or both was wrong. I think we dont have humans figured out, we are such complicated beings with higher intelligence and more social needs than good for us. I believe TMS hasnt fully developed into its final form yet.

I however also fully believe in the mind body connection, and in our bodies ability to heal itself. I hope to see more of you on this forum in the coming months. Perhaps youll gain some new insights

 

[GhostlyMarie]

This sentence is exactly what I am pointing out. You're not only writing like you have all figured it all for your case but also for a complete stranger! People like you are dangerous! I get that you want to help but most of the time a "I understand the struggle mate, don't give up!" is way more useful than a wall of text and the endless "Have you tried this? Have you tried that?".

Sir, with all due respect, if you don’t believe in the “mumbo jumbo”, why are you here? If you don’t believe you can get better, then continue living how you’re living. You obviously ran out of other options. You went through the doctors? Went through the meds, went through different treatments, and I’m assuming they didn’t work, right? You made the conscious decision to sign up for this forum, for what? If you didn’t believe it could be what you’re experiencing, then why did you go through the 5 minute sign up? What were you searching for here?
You’re obviously miserable and suffering, that much is clear but is coming onto our forum spouting your anger making you better? (Actually yeah, it could probably make you better but don’t direct it at people just trying to give you advice; remember: they don’t have to help you, they’re doing it out of compassion) So many people have healed themselves and gotten better. A lot of people are on their way to being healed and facing their emotions. We are a community that helps one another and you call them dangerous? What are you looking for by being here?

 

[JohnWinner]

Sir, with all due respect, if you don’t believe in the “mumbo jumbo”, why are you here? If you don’t believe you can get better, then continue living how you’re living. You obviously ran out of other options. You went through the doctors? Went through the meds, went through different treatments, and I’m assuming they didn’t work, right? You made the conscious decision to sign up for this forum, for what? If you didn’t believe it could be what you’re experiencing, then why did you go through the 5 minute sign up? What were you searching for here?
You’re obviously miserable and suffering, that much is clear but is coming onto our forum spouting your anger making you better? (Actually yeah, it could probably make you better but don’t direct it at people just trying to give you advice; remember: they don’t have to help you, they’re doing it out of compassion) So many people have healed themselves and gotten better. A lot of people are on their way to being healed and facing their emotions. We are a community that helps one another and you call them dangerous? What are you looking for by being here?

Jesus Christ! The mumbo jumbo I was talking about is all about the useless and senseless comments from people who think they know it all. People with no authority and credibility, people who have not healed themselves and most of the time giving advices when nobody asked for any. And I know for a fact that these advices can be dangerous. I'm just calling for HUMILITY!

 

[JohnWinner]

And by the way I have been a member of this forum for many years.

 

[GhostlyMarie]

I’m just gently going to leave the link to the rules here.

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/forum-faqs-frequently-asked-questions.1618/#rules (Forum FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions))

 

[JohnWinner]

I admit I get triggered when I see nobodys giving diagnosis and advices over the internet without any nuances, warnings and so sure of themselves. I always think of that guy who healed with antibiotics... what if he would have landed here... Jeez! Doctors TMS would have told him over and over that it was emotional, psychological, that he needed to stop everything he was doing for the symptoms, etc. etc. He would have never healed his infection. I have seen it all, I know that the cure of someone may be the poison of others. I wish people would have the humility to maybe give credits to people who tried TMS approach for years without result... maybe they didn't do it wrong, maybe this is something else at this point... just maybe.

But I understand the rules and I will refrain from commenting on these people. I will refrain from commenting furthermore on this thread as it is clearly off topic and disrespectful for the author who was in distress and probably needed comfort, empathy and understanding. I'm sorry OP, if I would have known that my simple comments would have triggered so many questions and comments I would have never posted it.

End of story.

 

[HealingNow]

I admit I get triggered when I see nobodys giving diagnosis and advices over the internet without any nuances, warnings and so sure of themselves. I always think of that guy who healed with antibiotics... what if he would have landed here... Jeez! Doctors TMS would have told him over and over that it was emotional, psychological, that he needed to stop everything he was doing for the symptoms, etc. etc. He would have never healed his infection. I have seen it all, I know that the cure of someone may be the poison of others. I wish people would have the humility to maybe give credits to people who tried TMS approach for years without result... maybe they didn't do it wrong, maybe this is something else at this point... just maybe.

But I understand the rules and I will refrain from commenting on these people. I will refrain from commenting furthermore on this thread as it is clearly off topic and disrespectful for the author who was in distress and probably needed comfort, empathy and understanding. I'm sorry OP, if I would have known that my simple comments would have triggered so many questions and comments I would have never posted it.

End of story.

Everyone here says make sure you get checked out by doctors first. I myself have been checked over 20 times by doctors and have come to the conclusion that they can no longer help me, I have to help myself. Doctors have no answer for my pain, and asked me to live with it without being able to diagnose me. I had an injury which they told me “should have healed” and gave me some painkillers and asked me to live that way, I have been in the darkest of places as many people have. Chronic pain stripped my life from me.

No one on here is dangerous, they are simply offering things that have worked for them. They are also offering a listening ear at 4am when I’ve been in tears and desperation.

I note on some of your other posts you’ve suggested things such as mercury poisoning and other structural diseases etc. The TMS approach removes the fear and the danger out of symptoms by assuring patients of the cause. I’ve lived with my symptoms for 11 months, I know if they were dangerous I’d have died by now, the only danger I am/was in was from myself, I started out on my journey thinking I’d severed my arteries after doomsday Googling.

Doctors are brilliant at saving lives, not so good at maintaining healthy ones (a cynical part of me would say they’d be out of a job). So yes, in your friends case of needing antibiotics for an infection, that was good advice. In my case of a minor injury resulting in persistent pain, it is incredibly dangerous for me to read fearmongering stories about mercury poisoning and calling my healing process “mumbo jumbo”.

I have more evidence that this is TMS given that this entire conversation has caused a flare for me (words can’t cause structural pain).

Please be rest assured that there are hundreds of people that Dr Sarno and Alan Gordon have helped with their back pain studies. The TMS approach will not work for those who cannot accept the diagnosis, I am still struggling to accept it myself but I fully believe it seeing as it’s the only logical conclusion, and doctors can’t find another conclusion for me.

I really do hope that you find your cure for your hip pain, if it’s not structural and you end up back here I wish you absolutely every hope and success with peace and understanding. My only advice would be to come back with an open mind and respect for others in their own healing paths, your words have impact on others

 

[Joulegirl]

This thread makes me sad and reminds me of a negative reddit post. @Marcos was being honest about how he was feeling. And we all feel that way at one time or another. And I feel like this post got hijacked and we were all called out for trying to heal via Sarno.

Let's clarify some things:

This forum is not full of healed people. It is full of people who had healed and relapsed. Or new people who are trying to heal. Or people who are on their healing journey and are feeling much better but are not 100% yet. (I'm in the later category.)

There are no medical professionals on this forum (besides the "Ask a Therapist from back in the early 2010's) and it clearly states to see your doctor BEFORE you assume you have TMS.

This forum is full of people who just want to talk to others regarding their TMS. They do want to see how others are trying to heal. We suggest books to read, apps to try, and sometimes just lend a listening ear when someone is hurting and feeling really down. The forum is full of support and I wouldn't be where I am now if I didn't find this place.

esoteric mumbo jumbo bullcrap that I read on this forum.

So this comment on this post was totally uncalled for and frankly, very hurtful to those of us that are healing. Either you are really angry or you were here to rage bait us. I'm just going to assume you are really angry-I'm sorry you are in a bad place right now. There are a lot of factors of healing with TMS and that is something you would have to be interested in talking about on this forum or with a TMS medical professional. I don't get the impression you want to talk about healing-just putting us down instead. As the saying goes, "Hurt people, hurt people."

I would advise that you go to "a hate Sarno" post on Reddit and you would find likeminded people there. You will not find it here. This forum is to uplift people and to talk about our healing journeys. Not medical advice, but personal experience advice and support.

 

[Rusty Red]

How about we ask how @Marcos is doing?

 

[feduccini]

Sorry Marcos, really sorry...

I don't think I have anything that would help you, but I want to say something about this:

How exactly are you supposed to “engage more in life” when you can’t even focus during a conversation with friends?

I think your question goes like "I understand TMS, I've done what's said to change neuropathways, symptoms increased. How am I supposed to have hope if my brain simply won't trust me?". I think there is a lot to evolve in the mindbody field and unfortunately we're in this moment where we understand what's happening but we haven't developed the best tools to treat it yet. As a result we work with what we have in hands: we know the limbic system doesn't speak our languages, but at the same time we use messages of safety to reassure safety. We are told to change focus from pain to life, but are also told to look inside and feel the pain from a curious distance. We're advised to expose ourselves physically, but to not overdo it... as if the threshold was clear and didn't move at all. One day you gotta step up to the bully, the other you gotta feel compassion for it. And above all, not to overthink it...

It's almost comical. A dramedy, if not for how suicidal people get in the process.

But something I always make a point to say here, we're not a minority. Not anymore. It's astonishing how people in general are living on the edge with all sorts of chronic conditions. But I don't think there's people who can't be helped. Mindbody researchers are working hard on solving it.