Julieta_kz
New Member
Hello everyone,
I’m a new member here and I’m really hoping for your support.
I first discovered TMS back in 2017 through the Panic Away program (now called DARE). Dr. Sarno’s books helped me immensely, along with the support I received from regular people on the Panic Away forum. At that time, I was suffering from chronic neck pain — and after reading Sarno’s work, it completely disappeared. Looking back now, I realize that all of my chronic symptoms over the years were TMS: neck pain, stomach issues, an anal fissure, eye swelling, recurring sore throats, UTIs, and even possibly yeast infections. All of it eventually went away — sometimes after a year or two.
In February 2024, I went through my 4th failed IVF attempt, and that was the breaking point for me — both physically and emotionally. I had no idea just how deeply traumatizing those procedures had been. But my body started speaking loudly.
I developed severe dryness in my vulvar area — just constant dryness. For six months I went from doctor to doctor, had every possible test done, but they just didn’t know what to write in the reports.
That uncertainty only made me more anxious — and during that time, I completely forgot about TMS. I simply started living with this dryness, using coconut oil every day to cope.
In September 2024, I decided to try IVF again (my reproductive doctor was putting pressure on me to move fast). But the night I made that decision, something happened overnight — the shape and the size down there visibly changed. It became smaller. I was terrified. To this day, I think it was some kind of spasm or protective reaction from my body, rejecting the idea of another IVF attempt.
Of course, I canceled all plans for the procedure — and so began a new round of medical appointments and total panic. I was frozen with fear, especially after reading online about lichen sclerosus (which, thankfully, was later ruled out by multiple doctors). But from September to May 2025, I was in a state of total fear and emotional shutdown. I couldn’t sleep, I started losing weight, and I was completely trapped in a cycle of fear and obsessive thoughts.
It’s crazy how even then, I still didn’t remember TMS — that’s how powerful fear was.
In May 2025, I finally found a decent doctor who gave me a proper diagnosis and clearly ruled out lichen. She has diagnosed me with:
“You need to work with a therapist and let go of the fear.”
She didn’t know anything about TMS, but intuitively, she was pointing me in the same direction.
The only thing she’s a little concerned about is a new fissure at the posterior fourchette that now appears after every sexual encounter. Because of this, my intimate life with my husband has stopped — I always feel the tearing, and after that, I just cry. It’s heartbreaking.
Eventually, I found my way back to Sarno’s books. I reread them all, and things started to make sense again. I began reading this forum, bought books by Dr. Howard Schubiner and Alan Gordon, watched many recovery stories from Dan Buglio, and I started journaling — a lot. Slowly, things started to shift.
I remembered that while on vacation, my symptoms either disappeared completely or significantly improved.
I’ve had moments where I truly believed I was healthy — and those moments brought real physical relief. That gave me hope.
But… something still isn’t clicking this time. The fear is still lingering.
I’ve tried to find stories similar to mine — about the fissure at the posterior fourchette, or sudden changes in the shape/size down there — but I haven’t come across anything.
I’ve seen posts about anal fissures here, but my case feels different, almost like I’m the only one going through this.
Maybe someone out there has had similar symptoms? I’d love to hear from you.
I’m 99% convinced that this is all TMS…
But that last 1% — I need help overcoming that doubt.
Thank you for reading
I’m a new member here and I’m really hoping for your support.
I first discovered TMS back in 2017 through the Panic Away program (now called DARE). Dr. Sarno’s books helped me immensely, along with the support I received from regular people on the Panic Away forum. At that time, I was suffering from chronic neck pain — and after reading Sarno’s work, it completely disappeared. Looking back now, I realize that all of my chronic symptoms over the years were TMS: neck pain, stomach issues, an anal fissure, eye swelling, recurring sore throats, UTIs, and even possibly yeast infections. All of it eventually went away — sometimes after a year or two.
In February 2024, I went through my 4th failed IVF attempt, and that was the breaking point for me — both physically and emotionally. I had no idea just how deeply traumatizing those procedures had been. But my body started speaking loudly.
I developed severe dryness in my vulvar area — just constant dryness. For six months I went from doctor to doctor, had every possible test done, but they just didn’t know what to write in the reports.
That uncertainty only made me more anxious — and during that time, I completely forgot about TMS. I simply started living with this dryness, using coconut oil every day to cope.
In September 2024, I decided to try IVF again (my reproductive doctor was putting pressure on me to move fast). But the night I made that decision, something happened overnight — the shape and the size down there visibly changed. It became smaller. I was terrified. To this day, I think it was some kind of spasm or protective reaction from my body, rejecting the idea of another IVF attempt.
Of course, I canceled all plans for the procedure — and so began a new round of medical appointments and total panic. I was frozen with fear, especially after reading online about lichen sclerosus (which, thankfully, was later ruled out by multiple doctors). But from September to May 2025, I was in a state of total fear and emotional shutdown. I couldn’t sleep, I started losing weight, and I was completely trapped in a cycle of fear and obsessive thoughts.
It’s crazy how even then, I still didn’t remember TMS — that’s how powerful fear was.
In May 2025, I finally found a decent doctor who gave me a proper diagnosis and clearly ruled out lichen. She has diagnosed me with:
- Myofascial pain syndrome
- Pelvic floor dysfunction
- Hypertonic pelvic floor
- Recurrent posterior commissure fissure
- Vulvar varicosities
- Connective tissue dysplasia
“You need to work with a therapist and let go of the fear.”
She didn’t know anything about TMS, but intuitively, she was pointing me in the same direction.
The only thing she’s a little concerned about is a new fissure at the posterior fourchette that now appears after every sexual encounter. Because of this, my intimate life with my husband has stopped — I always feel the tearing, and after that, I just cry. It’s heartbreaking.
Eventually, I found my way back to Sarno’s books. I reread them all, and things started to make sense again. I began reading this forum, bought books by Dr. Howard Schubiner and Alan Gordon, watched many recovery stories from Dan Buglio, and I started journaling — a lot. Slowly, things started to shift.
I remembered that while on vacation, my symptoms either disappeared completely or significantly improved.
I’ve had moments where I truly believed I was healthy — and those moments brought real physical relief. That gave me hope.
But… something still isn’t clicking this time. The fear is still lingering.
I’ve tried to find stories similar to mine — about the fissure at the posterior fourchette, or sudden changes in the shape/size down there — but I haven’t come across anything.
I’ve seen posts about anal fissures here, but my case feels different, almost like I’m the only one going through this.
Maybe someone out there has had similar symptoms? I’d love to hear from you.
I’m 99% convinced that this is all TMS…
But that last 1% — I need help overcoming that doubt.
Thank you for reading
But what’s incredible is how TMS works — everything related to my back, neck, arms, legs, and tailbone, my brain has firmly learned is 150% TMS, and I didn’t feel the slightest fear or doubt about it. I just shamelessly ignored all of those symptoms. And sure enough, they all went away over time. They even took turns in such ridiculous ways that it actually made me laugh.