Hypertonic pelvic floor, Recurrent posterior commissure fissure

Hello everyone,

I’m a new member here and I’m really hoping for your support.


I first discovered TMS back in 2017 through the Panic Away program (now called DARE). Dr. Sarno’s books helped me immensely, along with the support I received from regular people on the Panic Away forum. At that time, I was suffering from chronic neck pain — and after reading Sarno’s work, it completely disappeared. Looking back now, I realize that all of my chronic symptoms over the years were TMS: neck pain, stomach issues, an anal fissure, eye swelling, recurring sore throats, UTIs, and even possibly yeast infections. All of it eventually went away — sometimes after a year or two.


In February 2024, I went through my 4th failed IVF attempt, and that was the breaking point for me — both physically and emotionally. I had no idea just how deeply traumatizing those procedures had been. But my body started speaking loudly.

I developed severe dryness in my vulvar area — just constant dryness. For six months I went from doctor to doctor, had every possible test done, but they just didn’t know what to write in the reports.

That uncertainty only made me more anxious — and during that time, I completely forgot about TMS. I simply started living with this dryness, using coconut oil every day to cope.


In September 2024, I decided to try IVF again (my reproductive doctor was putting pressure on me to move fast). But the night I made that decision, something happened overnight — the shape and the size down there visibly changed. It became smaller. I was terrified. To this day, I think it was some kind of spasm or protective reaction from my body, rejecting the idea of another IVF attempt.

Of course, I canceled all plans for the procedure — and so began a new round of medical appointments and total panic. I was frozen with fear, especially after reading online about lichen sclerosus (which, thankfully, was later ruled out by multiple doctors). But from September to May 2025, I was in a state of total fear and emotional shutdown. I couldn’t sleep, I started losing weight, and I was completely trapped in a cycle of fear and obsessive thoughts.


It’s crazy how even then, I still didn’t remember TMS — that’s how powerful fear was.


In May 2025, I finally found a decent doctor who gave me a proper diagnosis and clearly ruled out lichen. She has diagnosed me with:

• Myofascial pain syndrome
• Pelvic floor dysfunction
• Hypertonic pelvic floor
• Recurrent posterior commissure fissure
• Vulvar varicosities
• Connective tissue dysplasia

And told me:
“You need to work with a therapist and let go of the fear.”

She didn’t know anything about TMS, but intuitively, she was pointing me in the same direction.

The only thing she’s a little concerned about is a new fissure at the posterior fourchette that now appears after every sexual encounter. Because of this, my intimate life with my husband has stopped — I always feel the tearing, and after that, I just cry. It’s heartbreaking.


Eventually, I found my way back to Sarno’s books. I reread them all, and things started to make sense again. I began reading this forum, bought books by Dr. Howard Schubiner and Alan Gordon, watched many recovery stories from Dan Buglio, and I started journaling — a lot. Slowly, things started to shift.

I remembered that while on vacation, my symptoms either disappeared completely or significantly improved.

I’ve had moments where I truly believed I was healthy — and those moments brought real physical relief. That gave me hope.

But… something still isn’t clicking this time. The fear is still lingering.

I’ve tried to find stories similar to mine — about the fissure at the posterior fourchette, or sudden changes in the shape/size down there — but I haven’t come across anything.

I’ve seen posts about anal fissures here, but my case feels different, almost like I’m the only one going through this.

Maybe someone out there has had similar symptoms? I’d love to hear from you.

I’m 99% convinced that this is all TMS…

But that last 1% — I need help overcoming that doubt.


Thank you for reading

 

I have never ever found anyone with the exact same symptoms I have - nor the group of about 35 (and more) symptoms I've had simultaneously.
Let go of it.
It is a story you tell yourself. The excuse you can't be well when others can. That you can't possibly do this work (that TMS mind of resistance) etc.
You don't need to be 100% convinced this is TMS. 99% is FAR more than most people have. Even after weeks, months, or years of doing the work sometime. Again, the mind is resistant and prone to negative thinking. The key is just not giving into it. The negativity is only thought. Thought isn't real. Whether you believe in TMS or not, you have it. It's like a broken leg. You can be in complete dis-belief and denial that your leg is broken but...it's still broken.
Your finger can be amputated, but your mind still feels numbness, pain and your brain can actually feel it moving. But it's not there.

We will cling to the thing that keeps us from doing the work. It's all about the protective mechanism of the mind.
Do the work. Keep doing the work. ALL of your symptoms point to things that may become activated because of physical tension - because of anxiety. Your doctor did a great job of pointing out that you have a lot of fear - but they may have bipassed the anxiety. Both go hand in hand.

My suggestion is to add Claire Weekes Hope and Help For Your Nerves (or any of her books) to your arsenal.

You mention that things have shifted for you, yet you are still worrying that you can't get better because of that 1%. ONE PERCENT! My dear, look at your 99% margin of success. That's amazing. Why are you pressuring yourself over 1% - it's not the percentage that's the mindset killer...it's the PRESSURE, the stress it creates, the thoughts and stories that surround that 1% that will be what holds you back. NOT the 1%.
Why not journal about that. Put it in perspective for yourself and begin shifting your focus to the 99%. The opportunity, the amazing achievements you've already made and will make and can make!

I've been at this for awhile. The worry can come and go - and every time it comes, it's a chance to let it go. That is absolutely what will eventually set you free.

 

I’m so grateful to you and to this community — it brings together people who are, in many ways, alike: responsible, kind-hearted, willing to help, and generous with information. May everyone here find healing, and may each of us learn to clearly recognize when TMS symptoms are showing up.


By the way, I forgot to mention that over the past six months, I was also struggling with terrible pain in my right hip, leg, buttock, tailbone, and even my bunion But what’s incredible is how TMS works — everything related to my back, neck, arms, legs, and tailbone, my brain has firmly learned is 150% TMS, and I didn’t feel the slightest fear or doubt about it. I just shamelessly ignored all of those symptoms. And sure enough, they all went away over time. They even took turns in such ridiculous ways that it actually made me laugh.


I believe that once I learn to laugh at and ignore the pelvic floor symptoms the same way, I’ll be able to overcome all of the diagnoses the doctor gave me. For some reason, I really need confirmation — that’s just how my brain works. Once something becomes obvious to it based on enough evidence, it understands it, and the “show” loses its appeal. I hope the day will come soon when I hear, read, or finally accept for myself that all my pelvic floor symptoms — especially the fissure and size issues — are TMS-related too.


Thanks again for the book recommendation. I’m diving into every suggested book with great interest — they’re wonderful.

 

“I really need confirmation — that’s just how my brain works.”

that’s how TMS works. It’s everyone’s brain. It’s the fear.
Sarno’s daily 12 is so helpful!
Everyday!

 

Thank you, ladies — you have no idea how much I needed to hear your words.

I’ve done so much work with different therapists, but no one has ever told me that I’ve been through so much, and that maybe what I need is simply to feel compassion for myself, instead of pushing even harder.

You’re right. There’s so much pain inside — from the loss, from things not working out, from my body taking the hit after all those rounds of stimulation.

It was all just too much for me.


And no one, not even those closest to me, really understands why I still can’t seem to recover… .

But the truth is — I’m just tired.


Thank you.

It truly means a lot to me.