How to think about our inner reactions

• Be aware of your inner reactions. This will help you generate awareness.
• Then when you can get to the point that your aware of your inner thoughts of anger and distress.
• Then you can catch them like a fish and reframe the thought.
• Then later if that thought arises it wont be so hard to reframe if you have to and also if it even comes back up.
• Also another reason for being aware of our inner reactions is just that, most reactions we have are negative. If you can react in a joyful way and break that negative reaction then you're well on your way to understanding this concept and how powerful it really is.
• Another reason for being aware of your inner reactions is we often say things that when thought of later we wish we would have never looked at it like that.
• By being aware of the words or thoughts we're about to have about an event or anything really, we can turn that distress into rest knowing that we're walking in the law of attraction.

 

I know I also react to negative emotions, Eric, by beginning a inner dialog with an imaginary enemy (inner bully) who's usually the persona of someone who's criticized me in a public space where I couldn't fight back. Instead, I was polite and internalized my anger (rage!). Really easy for me to get suckered in to such a dialog, trying for hours to fight back and contradict their criticism. Whacko! Really hard for me to defuse one of these dialogs once it starts. Really good sign that something's bothering me emotionally. Seems like these mental conflicts grow out of the times my late father used to sit and criticize and belittle me. Funny, I know how this stuff works, but find it really hard to defuse and stop once it starts. My question? How do you stop this kind of stupid non-productive inner mental warfare and switch to something positive and productive? Hint: Yesterday I had a real good road bike ride following a cold and was surprised how well I did. So today, no inner negative voices. I guess I feel "consumated" or some word like that. Sure seems like that sort of crap goes away when you're engaged in some kind of group interaction with friends you feel comfortable with. You don't need to confess your problems to them, because you're simply not having any problems really. I know that this morning I'm going to attempt to correct some deficiencies in a paint job I did on a repair on my Z3's bumper. Working alone on some perfectionistic project like that is a perfect breeding ground for an inner mental fight! Wish me good luck. Have to stay disciplined! Think I'll do some meditation and chill out first though.

 

morcomm) - How do you stop this kind of stupid non-productive inner mental warfare and switch to something positive and productive? Hint: Yesterday I had a real good road bike ride following a cold and was surprised how well I did.

Eric)- well when im in the heat of the moment i start saying my affirmations
like -im calm,relaxed patient and confident-then i just calm down-ive done it for over six months that way now and it works fine-your hint is the answer

morcomm) -So today, no inner negative voices. I guess I feel "consumated" or some word like that. Sure seems like that sort of crap goes away when you're engaged in some kind of group interaction with friends you feel comfortable with.

Eric)- its when your with your friends that the head talk gos away -right
so go ahead when your by yourself and use mindfulness to see if the dialouge is trying to tell you something-eft also works here,faster eft and ive always loved the tms talk to your brain soluition
its saved me lots of times.

morcomm) - You don't need to confess your problems to them, because you're simply not having any problems really. I know that this morning I'm going to attempt to correct some deficiencies in a paint job I did on a repair on my Z3's bumper. Working alone on some perfectionistic project like that is a perfect breeding ground for an inner mental fight!

Eric)- your right morcomm your really not having problems but there important to you
so do the techniques above and see where we go-if not helping, then practice more as you being an administrater already knows-be confident that you can do this and you will.
remember you dont have to have a mental conflict because your a perfectionist ,just do the above techniqes-and let me know ok-god bless

morcomm) - Wish me good luck. Have to stay disciplined! Think I'll do some meditation and chill out first though.

 

Thanks for the advice, Eric. It is odd how you can know rationally that the dialog with an inner bully is counter-productive nonsense, but it still keeps creeping up in unguarded moments nevertheless. Odd too how when I go down to the garage this morning and look at my bumper paint job, I see more flaws and mistakes than I did last night. You can see how that spirit of perfectionism keeps you trapped in a cul de sac. Well, if I want a perfect bumper, I'll have to pay the mobile bumper repair and paint man $300! Just getting the experience to make a bumper job perfect the first time will cost you $300 bucks before it's all over anyway.

Well, my TMS pain and weakness has been going down consistently for a long time now. You're just never satisfied until you look at the big overall picture. A year ago my left knee used to stick out at 90 degrees when I pedaled my road bike. Now it rotates smoothly and without pain. Those are the kind of improvements you have to keep in mind in this game. Gotta play with the little hurts, but don't obsess about them or you'll keep on trying to fix them over and over and over again (just like repainting a bumper 10 times to get it 'perfect').

And you're so right Eric: I learned a lot about the way this TMS stuff works and heals from my position as a moderator. A lot harder to be neutral and objective about your own case though. Physician heal thyself!

 

Eric)- good point morcomm-deep stuff
i dont think your dialouge is counter productive-if all your inner dialouge is for good
but to say were always good with our thoughts would be nonsense
its when a doubt hits a doubt and a positive hits a doubt,which one wins-the positive always
unless you dont practice the affirmations.
when you use enough affirmations you should be ok with the perfectionism if you dont
let it rule-the perfectionism can be changed-i did it,we all do-you can too morcomm
but you dont change the qualitys of perfectionism -no,change the bad habits right.

morcomm)- Gotta play with the little hurts, but don't obsess about them or you'll keep on trying to fix them over and over and over again (just like repainting a bumper 10 times to get it 'perfect').

Eric)- heres the formula above-thanks
and about the administrater-just meant its a lot of work
thanks for a great job-god bless

oh and you done a great job in your recovery-
it takes all the fun and pulls it together

 

That about summarizes it, Eric! Thanks. Took another look at my rear bumper this afternoon & it looks pretty darn good, almost perfect, but . . . but . . . but (!)

Like everything else in life: Is the glass half-empty or half-full?!

 

both boss-thanks morcomm
your the best

 

What a neat conversation between you two. Thanks for sharing.

 

thank you SandyRae-
morcomm is a very wise individual
hope you have a gloriuous day
bless you

 

Pretty obvious to me looking back now that a resurgence of pain in my left leg all began when I started trying to make my BMW Z3 "perfect" around the same time in January that was the anniversary of my mother's death. Very interesting! That was when I bought and installed some new upgraded headlights and began to attack all the flaws in the paint job on my bumpers too! It was the same day I biked down to pick up the car with the new headlights that the mechanic noticed that I was limping! That was also when the inner dialog started up in my head with an abusive superego figure. A-ha! My dead mother was unhappy about me spending money on the car and I was spending it anyway. Classic Id-Superego conflict behind so much TMS. I also had a strange sinus infection that lingered and lingered: Obviously a reduced autoimmune response due to the self-imposed threat. Maybe I was even getting sick to petition my dead mother to take care of me and thereby forgive me for spending money on myself? Today, now that the bumper is glossy and my head cold is gone, the pain in my leg has disappeared too and I feel relaxed and calm. What a tempest in my inner psychic teacup!

As an afterthought, I also noticed last night that I could handle my airbrush like Michaelangelo and finished painting a modeling project I've been at work on - with some frustration - for over 4 months, and this morning it looks absolutely perfect. I deduce from all of this turmoil that once you've resolved some psychic tension within yourself, things on the outside that formerly seemed insolvable will resolve themselves into successful outcomes.

 

wow-neat stuff morcomm
maybe we can talk on the phone sometime
something about conditioning-i havent had a drink in 13 yrs
but on the weekends i still feel hungover on saturday-not much but maybe 1 or 2
times a yr-weird.
do you have frustration -i mean massive frustration with your perfectionisim
you know we have to be calm -when our perfectionist qualitys kick in right
unless its helping you run a life boat to someone or even doing the perfect project
we have to tame the frustration in perfectionism right,
we can calm the super ego
would you say thats it-
if so i know some great steps to tame the best quality we got

 

I remember when I used to let my perfectionist tendencies run a mock when I was involved in some climbing project. Screaming and yelling at my partners, trying to make everything turn out just the way I wanted it to; in other words, to achieve a willed act of perfection. Really mad as hell all the time because everything wasn't happening the way I imagined it should. But . . . and this is a big 'but' . . . . I never had TMS pain back then. It was only after the death of my parents, in particular my mother, that I started having TMS pain, first in the form of a herniated disk, and then later during my relapse, as chronic sciatica. How can they not be related? My herniated disk was in my lower left lumber region, probably L3/L4, and my sciatica likewise is in my left leg, hip and lower lumbar region. This is also the same side where I broke my heel back in 1989/90. And a broken heel, in case you don't know, really, really hurts. Sounds to me as if I alway had strong perfectionist traits based on my conflicted relationship with my conflicted parents, but as long as they were alive, my emotionally repressive "angry" coping style helped me maintain a psychic equilibrium. However, once mom died, the old Oedipal structure no longer worked, so the anger I'd repressed for too many years, started coming out. To avoid dealing with it, my TMS developed, as Dr Sarno would put it, as a way to distract me from emotions that were too antisocial or threatening for me to deal with directly. I must have been mad as heck at my controlling, selfish parents, deep inside, for many, many years, but had successfully repressed those feelings by trying to be perfect and a good son. Yes, we'll have to chat sometime!

 

you know what we need to know-
can you e mail me at ericwatson3336@yahoo.com
just to go over a few things-just let me know its you morcomm
and ill reply