How to tackle flare-ups

I don’t always know what triggers my flare-ups. But sometimes I do, and I don’t know how to manage it.

Today I had a good day (pain level 2) so I decided for the first time in a year, to do some oil painting. Fast forward to an hour later, and now my whole body hurts and I feel sick. This happens almost all the time when I do something. Almost anything that’s even a tiny bit movement consuming. Whether it’s cleaning the house, shopping for groceries, painting or even laying on the couch for too long, I almost always get a flare up. I’m also always sooo bad when I wake up in the morning.

What to do when these flare-ups happens? I try not to expect them. Especially when I paint, not a single thought is about the pain… What am I doing wrong? And what can I do? Why do they come even though I’m actually having the right mindset?

 

The "why" is a question that one could ponder on forever.
It could be expected, somewhere deep in your mind.
It could be the subconscious protecting you from stepping outside of the little box it's put you in for your own safety... it could be.. a million things.
You are absolutely right you have a forward thinking mindset to try and do things, but the key to TMS is it's not a magic pill "if I think good thoughts once, and do this thing twice I'll be healed forever!!" it takes time and patience. You are learning skills and mindsets to take you through the rest of your lifetime.
Now what is a (lets dump the word correct because it can be a perfectionists mind trap) forward thinking mindset now that the pain has arrived. Try not to dwell on it too much.

Each time this type of feeling arrives, it's another chance to work through the mindset, to face the fears and the frustrations and to offer yourself compassion. Instead of internalizing the pain coming on as a "failure" to perform or break through, you can see it as some steps towards your goals. It can take some time to work all this out.

 

It's difficult to understand the brain, it's not very rational. Rather than pushing against it, examine it with curiosity. Be soft with yourself. Panicking and throwing things at it to get rid of it as fast as possible will just prolong it. I'm going through a flare up right now. It's not my first and it won't be my last. It may suck right now (my brain has a tendency to catastrophize) but I know it will pass because it always does.

 

You may find this great response from Alan Gordon on flare-ups very helpful.

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/figuring-out-what-causes-flare-ups.6447/ (Alan G. - Figuring out what causes flare-ups)

 

I’m going to get very nerdy so bear with me. There is this anime/manga I like, called berserk, in it there are these beings called the godhand, malevolent entities trying to lead humanity down a certain path by manipulating cause and effect. They are very very good at this. However there are moments in this story called temporal junction points, these are moments where there is enough chaos and unpredictable things going on that it becomes harder for these beings to get their desired outcome, making it possible, but not easy for the protagonists to oppose them in some way.

flare ups are a bit like these temporal junction points. They are the moment where there is an opportunity to oppose the brain and egos base narrative, an opportunity to respond with more hope and optimism and less catastrophizing. Rather than just flow in the way that we have in the past, of doom and terror and panic. This isn’t to say your brain and thoughts are your enemy, that you have to hate and defeat, but you certainly have to alter how you react to what they throw at you. Flare ups are where you will find the most lasting success, imo, because when things are going well it’s easy to be happy, and kind, and do the work. But a flare up? When we just want to stay in bed, and cry and curse this reality for the hand we were dealt, it’s so so hard to find self compassion, to do the work. All you need in these moments is just inches of progress, the ability to reflect and say I handled this one a little better than the last one. And those inches eventually turn into major progress.

I think it’s good to keep an evidence log for these moments, something easy to look back on, to be able to see that you got through this before and you’ll get through this again

 

@Rabscuttle What an excellent analogy! I'm bookmarking it. You are so right. I think it doesn't hurt to think of these moments as a valuable opportunity. Flare ups will happen, but they don't have to stay for long. Your reaction to them matters: "I've been here before. This moment doesn't define me. I’ve healed before, and I will again. I am safe, strong, and healthy. My body is not broken. Each wave of fear only brings me closer to peace. I trust my resilience. Right now, the part of me that is scared needs my tenderness, not pressure.”

 

Thanks -- really enjoyed reading that--good stuff!

This nugget was in there, something I certainly need to hear, and it applies well to this situation:
"In addition to working toward better tolerating uncertainty, like I said earlier, you put a lot of pressure on yourself. Reread your question. You are working so hard."

 

100% yes! I totally agree!

@monica-tms
I almost always get a kick in the butt from symptoms whenever I try to do something that makes me happy. Why?! I have no clue. But I decided I’m going to stop measuring my life in flares and non-flares. It’s like @Rabscuttle said— whenever you carry on anyway, you’re inching closer to better. You’re not doing something wrong; it’s more like you’re doing something right!