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How To Keep An Eye On The Right Prize

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by billiewells, Jan 10, 2016.

  1. billiewells

    billiewells Peer Supporter

    OK, so I have had to accept that I am not one of the lucky ones who read a book and their TMS is gone! I suspect that is because my issues have been ingrained and layered over decades. Now whilst I feel I'm embracing the TMS diagnosis as well as I am able I am getting stuck :-

    The concept of Outcome Independence is understandable, but putting it into practice is very tricky. My main symptom, although there are many reducing me to a cripple in many ways, is partial dropfoot. Now this means every time I stand up I am struggling to move about, maintaining a calm reaction to this when I am trying to answer the front door or cook for myself, is almost impossible.

    Also Sarno Oznich and others all mention that activity is essential BUT if I can't lift my foot to walk how do I do this? And by doing this am I not counteracting the idea of Outcome Independence? Last week I fell because my toes did not clear the ground and my balance was poor.

    I have developed this ridiculous gait with a stiff leg on one side and cant walk more than a 100yds cos I am terrified of falling.

    So how do I perform Outcome Independence and start to move more too, and how do I stop the worry that I am losing core stability and muscle mass?

    Which prize do I keep my eye on?
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, billiewells. Outcome Independence is a problem for most of those with TMS. You just have to decide it will take its own time, and your symptoms will go away when you have discovered the emotional causes that your subconscious is sending pain. Sarno and Steve say doing normal activities is important, but do them as you can. A little at a time. Walk with a cane or a walker, if you aren't already, to steady yourself.
    westb and David88 like this.
  3. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Billie, that's a rather good question to be honest. I'd say, no matter with what task you are anticipating or in the middle of performing. I'd say its crucial to reduce the anxiety or fear. Try taking some deep breaths. That should help you become a little more calm and central. Once you have achieved this, you can look at taking the focus away from the body by focussing on external factors.

    With regards to muscle mass, you could invest in an indoor cycle or foot peddle. At least this way you can use and strengthen your core muscles, whilst you work through the TMS program and regaining stability. As they say, if you don't use it, you lose it.
  4. billiewells

    billiewells Peer Supporter

    Thanks Mike,
    That is exactly my worry if I don't use it etc .... but whenever I start in a focused way to do something physical, it is hopeless, I get exasperated, and upset and distressed, However if my mind is totaly distracted,I stand up and walk better. Oznich talks about how he forced himself to run etc, but there are some real issues about personal safety. I live on my own and fell last week because my foot got caught, a bike isn't the answer because my right foot wont allow me to push down. I am caught in a psychological and physical dilemma of 'running before I can walk'. I find it impossible to engage in relaxation or distraction when it takes so much concentration to walk
  5. billiewells

    billiewells Peer Supporter

    Thanks Walt
  6. David88

    David88 Well known member

    Hi billiewells,

    If it's any consolation, I don't find outcome independence very helpful, either. People have different paths to healing, and you need to find what works for you.

    I wasn't able to get far pushing through my symptoms and trying not to care. That only works if you're ready for it. It sounds like right now you are pushing yourself into more anxiety and frustration, and that's not going to help.

    TMS is caused, in large part, by putting impossible expectations one oneself. Just now, for you, outcome independence is one more impossible expectation. That's okay.

    What helped me was being kinder to myself and paying attention (as Walt said) to the underlying feelings. Those two go together. I learn to honor myself by respecting my feelings even when I don't understand them, and the more I understand them, the better I feel about myself.

    Try listening to your symptoms. Think of them as a message from your unconscious that something in your life is out of balance and needs attending to. Just doing that much is already being kinder and more respectful to yourself.

    Have you tried uncovering the repressed feelings? Many people find the SEP helpful, and there is a similar program by Dr. Schubiner.

    westb likes this.
  7. billiewells

    billiewells Peer Supporter

    Many thanks for your input David

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