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How to get hope

monica-tms

monica-tms

Peer Supporter
I’m at my wits end. I’m really suicidal at the moment from my pain and hopelessness.

I don’t know what to do anymore. And I don’t know what I want to gain from this post. I don’t get how you can keep on believing things will get better and there’s a way to get symptom free. I’m scared this is all an illusion. Fibromyalgia is hell.

Can someone comfort me please? I feel so alone and scared. I don’t know what to do. I see people everywhere never getting better…
 
Hi Monica,

I understand - being in constant pain is draining and really challenging especially when it feels like their is no light at the end of the tunnel.

It sounds like you need some support beyond this forum so please:
Beyond that, most of us with TMS have been at rock bottom. And to be clear: Fibromyalgia is a classic manifestation of TMS.

We have been hopeless and still in pain. We have been where you are at and been able to get through it. You can too.

For now, know that you are not alone. This is a community who understand what you are feeling and going through. I was in hell when I found this work and it transformed my life and I know this is the case for others I have spoken to.

All this to say, there is hope even if the darkness, fear, and pain feel overwhelming right now. If you are on forums where people are constantly not getting better and talking about symptoms I recommend to stop using them for a while - they can really contribute to the feelings of hopelessness.

Also, I have heard many stories and seen people (my auntie being on of them) recovering from fibromyalgia -> there are particularly powerful stories of inspiration on Nicole Sachs podcast (use the search function for Fibromyalgia): https://www.yourbreakawake.com/podcasts/the-cure-for-chronic-pain-with-nicole-sachs-lcsw-2 (The Cure for Chronic Pain with Nicole Sachs, LCSW)

Also, on here there are many success stories about recovering from fibromyalgia too over on the success stories forum e.g. https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threa...bro-pains-almost-recovered.28963/#post-152407

Let these bring some light for now.

Find professional support because you absolutely deserve it.

From here in Scotland I am sending the warmest of wishes to wherever you are.
 
@monica-tms
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue and was bedridden and housebound, but no longer... I want to encourage you to keep going... If I can make profound progress, you can too...

See what I wrote here on this thread: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threa...s-gone-in-the-absence-of-encouragement.30254/

And see also here on this thread where I explain that, albeit not fully recovered, the way I got from bedridden to being able to function pretty well by comparison has been by taking a 'baby steps' approach: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threa...philosophy-of-kaizen-an-article-a-book.30108/.

When you feel overwhelmed (and at other times too, regularly throughout the day) my advice is to place your attention on your breath... slow your in-breaths down and lengthen your out-breaths... doing this has been a tremendous help to me in my own recovery process.
 
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I just want to give you a big hug. We have all been there on varying degrees. TMS is not permanent but it feels that way when you are down in the trenches. Definitely call one of those numbers to talk to someone about your feelings.

I highly recommend doing the SEP program on this website. It's free and very helpful to dig into your feelings and your pain. It's self paced and it helped me really work through some emotions I didn't know I was suppressing.

Please don't look at others and compare yourself to them. While we all have TMS, we will heal on different times. Certain things that don't work for you-may work for others and vice versa. Don't focus on those that "say" they can't heal. Stay off any sites that have negative views on chronic pain. Click on the links and read the success stories here. But remember TMS is what we all have whether it shows up as fibro, back pain, ibs, etc. It's all the same thing. Simply put-we are suffering from repressed emotions and a dysregulated nervous system.
 
Looking at descriptions of a variety of medical labels, my symptoms could easily have fallen under fibro, my physical therapist said most doctors would say CRPS or a type of dystonia and on top of that dysautonomia, POTS, and many other symptoms.
Over time they have gotten much better. I have some rough days, but I’m ok with that because the ratio of better days is much better.
However at one point I contemplated ways out. I was bed ridden for a year, unable to walk or do my own self-care. However the mental suffering was way worse than physical suffering.
Once I could get the ability to see my fear and anxiety were simply thoughts with emotions attached to them, things got better. I could allow myself to feel the rawness of it all and that turned my life around. I could begin to add some joy to life again too.
It’s been a few years but I can walk several miles, carry up to 10 lbs, to some Qui Gong, sit, stand for periods of time. I get some flairs which over time take less time to resolve. I can handle rough emotional times.
One of my first large steps was to disentangle my beliefs that any diagnoses defined me. I was simply experiencing the mind/body and spirit connection in deep ways many others do not. It lightened my load, gave me so much more hope. I refused to let the experiences others define me and chose only to follow the stories of people who overcame. No more groups, nothing outside of this TMS forum or YouTube success stories.
My biggest hope was @TG957 ’s book Defying The Verdict to defeat CRPS (which is kind of like fibrous nastier cousin).
There is much hope to be found.
Sending you hugs and some understanding that the road can be rocky but following it is the way out.
 
We don't "get" hope, it's generated from within by changing our beliefs. Let us know what steps you've taken toward TMS recovery and we can give you specific recommendations. I know you read my Success Story recently, and reading and listening to others' success stories is a good strategy, but needs to be accompanied by less passive activities, like journaling as part of a structured program. One day, one step at a time is the road to recovery.
 
monica-tms said:
Can someone comfort me please? I feel so alone and scared. I don’t know what to do. I see people everywhere never getting better…
Click to expand...

Hi Monica. You're right about feeling lonely and scared. Who wouldn't having to deal with Fibromyalgia every single day?

But you're not alone, we're all in this together, each one on their hellish path that feels like a labyrinth. TMS is curable, it just needs time.
 
monica-tms said:
I’m at my wits end. I’m really suicidal at the moment from my pain and hopelessness.

I don’t know what to do anymore. And I don’t know what I want to gain from this post. I don’t get how you can keep on believing things will get better and there’s a way to get symptom free. I’m scared this is all an illusion. Fibromyalgia is hell.

Can someone comfort me please? I feel so alone and scared. I don’t know what to do. I see people everywhere never getting better…
Click to expand...
Hi Monica.
You are not alone. I hold you in my heart and mind and absolutely understand. Its been a long journey for me with a similar issue but mainly upper body. Anyway, very slowly I have seen some changes and I think for some of us it is slow but just keep on putting a foot in front of the other , even if you feel like its not helping, I believe it is . Much love Becky
 
TG957 said:
Read success stories, every day. Make it a routine and part of your healing regimen. There are hundreds of them on the Success Stories subforum. They got me through my hell.
Click to expand...

This is what i do, i have my days where i feel really low and hopeless but thankfully there are very few and far between, other days im hopeful. Im definitely in a plateau though so i have to keep reading about that and look at success stories to keep my mindset in the right path.
 
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