Parts Therapy How parts therapy is helping me heal

Hi everyone,

I've been doing parts therapy as part of my TMS healing. I learned about this technique some 20 years ago with a therapist. I didn't really know any of the theory back then, but as soon as I read about it on the forum, I immediately recognized it. So far, I have been reluctant to talk about it because it felt so personal, but now I think I will. It has helped me so much, I wanted to share a bit about my experience.

Like many of us on this forum, I had a rough childhood. Mine was filled with violence, neglect and loneliness. This has left me with a fragmented sense of self, low self-esteem, low-grade depression for most of my life and, more recently, chronic pain. With IFS, I am able to get in touch with the various parts of me that were wounded. I relive the trauma and deep pain, give myself the support I need and then release it. Everytime I did a session with myself, my pain would go away. It is so amazing!

Here's an example: I have a long-standing issue with motivation. Part of me wants to accomplish a bunch of stuff, reach great goals and just generally be out in the world doing things. Another part of me wants to do nothing at all. When I say "nothing" I really mean it. This part just wants to sit there and daydream. This has created so much inner tension in me. Very frustrating. So I got in touch with this part that wants to do nothing. Turns out, it's two-year-old me who bonded with my clinically depressed mom. Back then, my mom was like a walking corpse (the poor lady was in so much pain). So to feel close to her, I became depressed too - it sort of feels like I disconnected from life. This probably saved me from feeling the pain and grief of being abandoned, but today it is very hard to manage my life with all of this inner resistance. By listening to this part without judgement, I can reconnect with myself and find greater peace.

Not only am I 90 percent pain free now, my self-esteem is probably the highest it has ever been in my whole life. Feels nice to look at myself in the mirror and be grateful for what I see.

 

Blake, your post is terrific. You've come to like yourself more and not judge yourself for achieving or not achieving.
I these crazy times, just living each day is a big achievement. Finding peace besides is the icing on the cake.

 

Thank you, Walt. Inner peace is indeed a very rare commodity these days. It's well worth all the work though.