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How Not to give up

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Yulia1975, Sep 19, 2018.

  1. Yulia1975

    Yulia1975 Peer Supporter

    Im single mom to 4 years old and I’m loosing my job . my symptoms worse than usual...I have severe sensations in my jaw/neck/shoulders area .
    As much as I don’t want , but I feel fear and thinking about getting some help. I know an osteopath can make me feel better for a day or two :(
    How not to give up ? How to get over the most difficult moments ? How to stop thinking about help ?
    Any tips very much appreciated!
  2. Jules

    Jules Well known member

    Oh hun, I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. I understand about wanting to give up - but this is EXACTLY what your brain wants you to do, because to it, it’s protecting you and to stir the pot is not good, in its opinion. However, this is what you NEED to do, to get the brain to understand that painful emotions or rage is OK to feel. Remember, your brain thinks its doing you a favor and will do whatever it takes to protect you. Stress is a trigger, bigtime, and it looks like with you being a single mom and losing your job, TMS is ratchting up. It’s OK to soothe your autonomic nervous system when under stress, so if an osteo helps you feel better for a bit, I think that’s OK, but the key is to gradually reduce that crutch, so you reinforce to your brain that there’s nothing wrong with you.

    Sometimes, I just have to stop TMSing, which includes trying to heal too quickly. It’s OK to get frustrated and want to give up. I’ve had TMS for 25 years and there are times, I just want it gone for good. I’ve had to learn patience. You will get there, but for now, do what you need to do to reduce the stress.

    Take Care.
    Yulia1975 and Cindyingraham like this.
  3. Cindyingraham

    Cindyingraham Newcomer

    I agree to what Jules said, You need to control your emotions and don't think about it much get engaged in stuff you like.
    Yulia1975 likes this.
  4. Beckerd67

    Beckerd67 Newcomer

    Hi Yulia, in short I don’t have any tips because I am struggling with the same things you are. I had to quit my job because my anxiety was causing me to make too many mistakes on the job. Now I find myself with no income and although I started the disability process I know that could be years away.

    Like you I really believe in Dr Sarno. When people recommend hints like physical therapy for my pain I tell them I’ve tried everything.

    So, I just wanted to post because often there are answers to support posts and they are excellent but it’s stuff we’ve all heard before. Journaling, meditation, following Sarnos daily reminders, etc. they are excellent tools. But what does one do when it just doesn’t work for them?

    So I’m not going to do any of that. Just tell you that you are not alone. This community is huge and we all have our own struggles.

    At its core, Sarnos main solution is think mentally not physically. But what do you do when you are living your life as he says to do but at the end of the day you are in agony? Not to mention being in pain or agony ALL day.

    So, I don’t have an answer but we know we have TMS. We know the medical system has failed us. They don’t have an answer for chronic pain and anxiety. They have placebos that work very well for most people. The rest of us are left to fend for ourselves ina world that is worried about its own problems and can’t be bothered with ours on top of it.

    They tell us we’re not trying hard enough, or we’ve been doing it wrong and they have the solution if we pay the fee.

    I know TMS is real. I have all the symptoms. I feel like Dr Sarno discovered the problem and a lot of people cure themselves with his teachings. And then some of us don’t. We find ways to deal with the symptoms and can do just enough to survive.

    I pray for you and myself that we are able to live full, happy lives one day. They say everyone has a cross to bear in this world. And those of us with chronic pain and anxiety have really been given a whopper.

    It makes sense though. Anxiety really seems to be the core problem. Anxiety builds upon itself and becomes worse the more we are trapped in it. I’ve heard it been referred to as a Chinese finger trap before and that seems really spot on. If we could just relax our way out of it and let the anxiety release our muscles and pain would do the same. But the world continually pushes that pressure on us and with friends and family that don’t understand, as well as employers that don’t get it either, we feel lost and alone.

    Good luck on your journey. We are in this together.
  5. Yulia1975

    Yulia1975 Peer Supporter

    Thank you so much, and I wish you the best!!!

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