How much crying is too much

In the past week I have been crying several times a day. These are some of the most intense tears and often hit me when I'm alone or even when trying to have fun with people. I'm you g thru a divorce but even before that there was always this hole that felt like in my chest. I'm seeing a tms therapist who thinks the crying is good given everything I'm going thru. However my pain is skyrocketing and all of my symptoms from last year are getting worse.

I'm also starting to wonder if the change in weather could
be causing pain.

I have deep fears of being alone and losing my friend even though I'm ending the relatio ship. This past week were lawyer and realtor meetings. I just feel like I can't fill the hole in my chest. I try to watch a movie and I can't focus and start crying more. Wow times 4 times a day.

I just don't ever seen to cry it all out. And like I said this was there before the breakup. Also. I stopped drinking 3 weeks ago and was doing it on almost a daily basis to numb that hole.

I just am scared that it won't ever end. I cry such intense tears without even journaling.

 

On top of all this my physical symptoms are flaring up. Symptoms which died down a few months ago. And the tinnitus too. I don't want to believe it's weather but last year at this time it was bad before I knew about tms. I'm trying to believe it's everything I have going on. Divorce. Splitting assets. Loss of relationship and being alone and selling house and confusion of fearing I'm making a mistake. But I'm obsessing about my body again.

 

Stormshadow,

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through so much right now. I agree with your therapist that the crying is good. It means that you are not repressing your grief and sadness. You are going through a major transition that has triggered a major stress response, and as a person with TMS, it is logical that it would trigger your TMS symptoms. My advice is to be as kind and compassionate to yourself right now as you can. Give yourself a break. Do everything you can think of to soothe yourself right now (except drugs or alcohol, which will only repress your emotions), and know that the grief will pass as long as you don't repress it.

I think you know that it is not logical that the change in weather is causing your symptom flare. You may have some conditioning associated with it, as you have believed it triggered a flare up in the past. This is just an association your brain has created and is not real. Your flare up is due to what you are going through emotionally right now, and the current stressors may be triggering past issues from your childhood. It sounds like you are getting excellent support from your therapist. As difficult as it is right now, you just need to give things time. You will feel better again as long as you let the emotions move through you, and don't pile on with a lot of self criticism for how you are responding to a difficult time. It's OK to feel bad right now. It is a normal human reaction. You will get through this.

 

Thanks Ellen. It means a lot that you took the time to write all that. I just worry that the crying and hole is even before this transition and if I don't figure out the source of it I will just keep crying. What saddens me too is that's night I hung out with my brothers who are my best friends. I had some fun but I just felt that hole and like I needed to cry. I looked at them laughing and joking and felt like I wasn't as stable or as capable of being fun like them. I was just so sad and I feel like I'm not able to have fun.

 

Stormshadow,

I think all us with TMS personalities can relate to the desire to be more like those who seem to be more easy going, carefree, and able to enjoy life. I've had to accept that for me, I have to work at being happy and at peace, which is mostly about acceptance and letting go. I think Buddha said something to the effect of--most suffering is caused by the gap between what is and what we think should be. Acceptance in the present moment is the key to ending our suffering. Our pain is caused from holding on so tight to what we think our lives should be. Let it go. You will be OK.