1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this link: http://go.tmswiki.org/newprogram
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Day 10 How I'm doing

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by cnote, Aug 26, 2016.

  1. cnote

    cnote Peer Supporter

    Well, it's day 10 and I'm doing pretty good actually.

    I still feel like I have a ways to go.

    I have found it nice that my "knots" that usually flair up a lot, have not flared up in a good while.

    My lower back has been very manageable, and my arm pain, and hand pain is nearly gone!

    That right there tells me "IT MUST BE A MIND BODY CONNECTION."

    Pain that moves around, comes and goes, has no value. It means nothing. It's my brain. It's TMS.

    I've continued to work out almost every night for 30+ minutes. I enjoy it, and actually feel good while doing it!

    I'm sleeping pretty darn good too!

    I will say I'm having some anxiety at the moment... I don't know why... it's a "pit in my stomach" feeling... "anxiety butterflies" of the stomach, if you will...

    That means something deep down is bothering me... I think it started tonight after my wife and I were talking about our house... I told her that I like our house that we bought 3 years go, but I feel like it's not "my home"... if that makes sense?

    She flipped out on me, and thought I was CRAZY, for even thinking that.

    I told her to relax, and told her I'm not crazy for having those feelings... I just never expressed it til now, openly. I told her I felt kind of rushed buying this home 3 years ago. We sold our last home, which was great, but I didnt think my Realtor would sell it THAT fast. He sold it the same night he listed it. That's a damn good Realtor right there. lol.

    But we only had about 3-4 weeks to FIND A HOME to buy.

    I remember finding one on the lake that was gorgeous... but my wife said "NO WAY." She didnt like the layout.

    Of course we ended up buying a home in the SAME AREA, nearly 5 miles down the road from our last home... and it's because she wants to stay close to her twin sister...

    That's a whole other story... While I respect there closeness... it seems as if our entire marriage has evolved around living near her sister.. and meeting those needs #1.

    I have always felt kind of #2 in our marriage the past 11 years... :(

    Gosh... this TMS stuff is legit... stuff is coming out as I write this... stuff that BOTHERS ME DEEPLY... I just try and push it all aside, and DEAL with it...

    Yeah... I'm opening up now... THIS BOTHERS ME. It's always my wife's way or the highway most of the time... that sucks...

    Anyways... getting back to the house topic... I told my wife, that we never really got to do anything to this house since we've purchased it, besides finish the basement, which is amazing.

    But our upstairs, where we spend most of our time, is the same color as when we bought it... I just don't feel like we ever had a chance yet to make the upstairs, OUR HOME. Paint it the color we want etc... I dunno... Sounds so silly and dumb... but these are legit things that keep coming out of my subconscious that I never pay attention to, b/c I don't feel like they are "that important", but sometimes it IS INDEED the little things that can really bother us, or make life happy.

    I have so many emotions coming up while doing this TMS therapy. It's kind of a rollercoaster of emotions. I know it's going to be a good thing in the long run.

    The homework is legit. And just as it states; once you start journaling/talking about main subjects that you think are generally bothering you... other things will start coming out... and that is what is happening.

    There's my update! :)
    Huxley and juderocketqueen like this.
  2. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, cnote. I'm sorry your wife is dominating and that she spends so much energy on her sister.
    Those things would bother me, too. I'm glad you're journaling and thinking about those things.
    I doubt that your wife will change, so it may be up to you to not let it all trouble you.
    That's easier said than done, I know. Maybe just accept it. Looks like the less you challenge her, the better.

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