Day 10 How I'm doing with the treatment so far

I've been stuck on Day 10 for a while. Purely because I'm busy with life and have lots to do, so not really trying to avoid it I think. Although having read a lot of the forum I'm starting to wonder whether just learning not to fear the symptoms is enough rather than going through this whole programme. But I'll keep going through it for now slowly but surely. I'm also considering contacting a TMS therapist for a session or 2 just to speed it up and have some guidance from a professional.

It has definitely been an eye opening experience spending more time on this forum the last few weeks. Since doing this programme and generally just reading posts on this site, whether they be forum or blog posts, I have become more aware of how much anger I have and repress, and have been trying in my own haphazard way to acknowledge my anger. There have even been a couple cases where I have expressed my anger at people (i.e. a very difficult work colleague who has caused me a lot of stress over the last year). I have heard that that might not necessarily be the right way to do things, but I sort of felt pleased with myself for standing up for myself for a change even though it might come back to bite me later. But I'm fully aware that I should be watching how I express anger.

I also try and listen to my unconscious/inner child more than I have done and try to develop some kind of connection to it in the sense that I try to think how my actions and those of others effect it. So for example of someone makes a demand of me I really try and think hard first before I accept it instead of just blindly accepting it and repressing any associated feelings. When I do agree to a demand made on me I imagine talking to the inner child and telling them I will make for this with some quality time later or something like that. I am also thinking about how my very dissatisfying job is having an effect on me unconsciously and am making plans to get out of it.

I have developed my own affirmation which helps me sometimes: "I am not a victim". Whenever I get scared to do something for fear of worsening my symptoms, I say that to myself and do it anyway. I've also made it my password for my office computer.

Finally, I do still have some doubts about the TMS approach but I think that will become clearer once I have had doctors check my symptoms (the main ones are vision problems at the moment). So we'll see how that goes.

 

This is a beautiful practice which will change your life! Keep up the good work on this and your other ways you describe above.
Andy B