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How I finally overcame TMS update

Discussion in 'Success Stories Subforum' started by Wiser now, Aug 21, 2013.

  1. Wiser now

    Wiser now Peer Supporter

    I have had a an interesting situation that I wanted to share. For the last year I have pretty much overcome all the pain in my upper back that has come and gone for over 15 yrs. I am a stay at home mom and a large part of my TMS I am sure has been due to the fact that I gave up working to raise my child. My husband travels and having both of us work w/his schedule was very stressful and I had incredible guilt leaving my daughter so I chose to quit my full time job. She is now school age so I was looking forward to some more freedom this fall and possibly getting a part time job. For the last 4 years my husband has been pushing to get a big dog and I have fought it because I knew I would end up being the one taking care of it with his traveling schedule. I also didn't grow up w/dogs so I have never been comfortable with them nor have I know what to do. We had many discussions about it and I reluctantly agreed but told him I would not let it interfere w/my job of raising our daughter.
    Long story short, we got a puppy 4 months ago and my back has hurt alot ever since. He is growing to be a big dog and has done all the destructive things puppies do but he is 60 lbs and despite alot of obedience training, is alot to handle. The stress that it brought to our home was causing me to be tense all the time and I was increasingly resentful of the situation and the stress the dog was causing. Yes, at 48 I think I might be a little sore but my back and neck seemed to kill me all the time. I felt very out of control and helpless when my husband would travel and I was angry because I felt trapped at home with a small child and a dog. I fell back into my old ways of thinking.
    Everytime I would take the dog out I would think "oh, I hate this dog, he makes my back hurt!" because he drags and pulls alot and is very strong. The pain would go away but would come back every time I had to walk him or take him outside again. What I finally started realizing was that my back didn't hurt because of the dog, it was because I RESENTED the dog and my husband for putting me in the situation of having to take care of him. I had just started to feel like I was getting my freedom back and could work again so I was furious that I was given a job I never wanted. I finally had a colorful discussion with hubby and told him everything, how angry, resentful I was etc.,etc. He agreed to handle the dog most of the time and I realized that I can't blame my pain on the dog, I need to work on my feelings instead. My puppy will be a great dog in a year or two once he is past the puppy stage but until then I have to remind myself that my back is fine and very strong and I can handle it. This has been an interesting experience and just reconfirms that stressful situations can cause physical pain or relapses. Instead of trying to find the "thing" that is causing it, look at your feelings instead.
  2. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Wiser now Quote- Instead of trying to find the "thing" that is causing it, look at your feelings instead.

    Eric- Think psychological, awesome thanks for the story. Sounds like you know the rules.
  3. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Wiser Now. I'm glad you found a solution for your relationship with your dog.
    I know how hard it can be to control a puppy. Annie, my big black Lab mix, was just a little thing
    when I got her, but on our very first walk she pulled so hard, and I pulled her back so hard,]
    I gave myself a hernia in my chest. Ten years later it's still there, but Annie calmed down after a
    few months and now she walks beside me (on the leash) like a little angel.

    It's good you've gotten help walking your dog, but I hope you can spend some time playing with it
    or just being with it. Dogs have been one of the main joys of my life and I'm 83.

    I've had three dogs for about 40 years, one at a time. My first two lived to be 16 and a half
    and Annie is 11 now and in great health.

    Dogs, like kids, eventually grow up. Until then, we just have to love them.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  4. Wiser now

    Wiser now Peer Supporter

    Thanks Walt, my puppy is a chocolate lab and I probably should have mentioned that I really do like my doggy. It has just been a big adjustment. I grew up with cats, not dogs so this is a whole new world for me. He gets tons of exercise, love and attention. My hubby does most of the walks but my daughter and I play with him and she is always hugging him and playing w/him. I walk him several times a day when my husband is gone as best as I can. I know he will be an awesome dog, everyone tells me so. I just have to be patient and deal with my emotions instead of letting them go to my back. Thanks for the input!
  5. Anne Walker

    Anne Walker Beloved Grand Eagle

    I have a new puppy too and I know just what you are talking about! I love her but I keep thinking "what was I thinking?" when I let my husband persuade me to get her. She is a Belgian Malinois and she likes apples! ..... And table legs, and carpet corners(the more expensive the better) and shoes, of course, .... And electrical cords, and drapes, and bathroom wastebaskets, bed skirts, and anything that moves. Most of all she does not like to be left alone for a minute. We have two other dogs and that helps but still it's like have a baby(with sharp teeth that can run around). Not sure what we are going to do with her all day when the kids go back to school next week.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.

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