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How do you not give the pain attention?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Purist, Oct 16, 2018.

  1. Purist

    Purist New Member

    I believe the diagnosis. I've journaled a bit. I think psychological.

    But....when I wake up...the pain is there. When I walk, the tension doesn't let me walk straight. The worse of it is when I sit and drive: burning, cramping, pain that alternates between the left and right side of the back, and at the bottom of my foot, sometimes my right foot, but usually on the left. It moves, which is why I know it's TMS.

    But it's always there...always...

    But to give it attention is to reinforce it!

    How do you stop it?

    (I'm just jealous of those who were "cured" so instantly. I know it takes time for others.)
    Sofa likes this.
  2. Lizzy

    Lizzy Well known member


    Others might have answers more specific to TMS, but I've found Claire Weekes advice on how to not give their anxiety attention very effective for not giving pain attention. Fear is food for both TMS and anxiety and she is fantastic at reassurance regarding fear. Her books are popular. You can read about her here on the wiki, listen to her from the links, or look on YouTube. Good luck,
  3. Jocko1

    Jocko1 Peer Supporter

    I have the same exact symptoms as you. You have TMS! It’s tough to not focus on the pain, it’s a real challenge. What really helps me is exercise. Also when I do have pain I try to think of a pleasant image. My image is a photo of my kids holding each other’s hands. This helps. Focus on something pleasant. I’m 2.5 months in and my pain is not gone but I’ve improved. Good days and bad but physically I’m now very strong and doing intense cardio 5 days a week, this is something I never imagined I’d being doing 2.51 months ago.
    Sofa and Purist like this.
  4. Marinedad

    Marinedad Well known member

    I have the identical issues to the T I had them for 9 years but true belief of Tms is been less then a year ...yes tough days and ok days excersice is the only relief my pain can be all over my body at any given time.
  5. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I am one of those people you are jealous of.... and 'instantly' was about a month of intensive focused work and countless hours and hours of 'maintenance' work to fend off new issues.

    The most important part of my month (5 weeks actually, though most of the symptoms left by week 3) was the fact that like any problem I want to solve I gave it my UNDIVIDED attention. I was fortunate enough to be off work so I was in a sort of 24 hour a day TMS recovery clinic albeit of my own making...

    Just like the pain once dominated my thoughts and actions, now the three R's dominated my thoughts and action. I used to wake up and the pain was always the first thing to greet me. so....

    greeted IT like : "Good morning you useless POS. Wow, I am conditioned like a lab rat. OK...what unsavory topic can I focus on? Oh yeah... Dave ripped me off in that deal... I'd love to beat the F=+K out of the son of a bitch. What would that look like?"...and then I would run a very visual and graphic fantasy of Dave and I that looked a lot like the last scene from 'Casino'

    ...and about my second cup of coffee when the pain gets my attention again, I realize that I have not noticed the pain for about 15 minutes. ... But now it's back. I see the pile of dishes in the sink as I rinse my cup and realize that my 'stay at home' wife hasn't washed the dishes again for the umpteenth thousand time. More RAGE..so Rather than focus on the sciatica burning in my leg I think:

    "... every time I try and wash them she gets indignant and says "Stop! I'll get those later"... It is F=+king exasperating to live with a chronically filthy kitchen. I liked living in state boarding houses better than living with this spoiled princess. I really wish I never got married at all" and then I play a movie of living free and alone not having any family responsibility, being a skateboarding bum musician with no kids, no wife,etc

    You get the point. Goodism is at the root of all of our anxiety and rage. We have to let our wildest most selfish thoughts run wild. Fear not. I never acted on any of them, but letting them fly was super effective. I have never seen a TMS doc, never done any of the 'programs' on this forum. A copy of HBP and my imagination

    I cursed a LOT! People near me might have thought I had tourette's. I yelled a LOT. I thought terrible things. I made lists of people, places and things that enraged me. I beat the snot out of many trees, bushes and discarded appliances. I got into shooting and unloaded thousands of rounds of ammo into Cans, furniture,whatever....and I was back at work in 5 weeks in my heavy labor job...painfree.

    Sarno's three R's are all action oriented. This is a program of action! Refute the diagnosis, Return to activity, Recondition your Brain. Simple academic appreciation won't suffice. The actions and activity in which we engage must be as intense or moreso than our pain or it's all just a theory...and a peculiar one at that.
    lowella, Sofa, HattieNC and 4 others like this.
  6. Marinedad

    Marinedad Well known member

    Wow great advice ...had all the same thoughts and actions but still 9 years later pain still greets me ...but I have to say to be totally honest it’s been a year that I truly accepted Tms ...but I guess my sub c doses not believe me yet so the merry go round continues to turn
    Purist likes this.
  7. BloodMoon

    BloodMoon Beloved Grand Eagle

    This is absolutely just what I needed to read today. I'm experiencing symptom imperative - my pain has just shifted from one area to another area of my body and I'm going to give it all the kind of treatment that you describe. Actually, I've just had a mental rant and it felt so ***** good. Thanks!
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2018
  8. HattieNC

    HattieNC Well known member

    Baseball65, this is fantastic advise!

    I've found that as I've gotten older - goodism has become more of an issue. Believing that by this age, I should have reached some kind of spiritual wisdom/love/forgiveness "nirvana". It's not a secret that I've had significant marital issues the past few years. This morning, I woke up with an upper back spasm. This was unusual. I don't usually wake up to pain... it progresses throughout the day and reaches a peak about mid-afternoon. I knew that I went to bed aggravated at my spouse, so I said aloud all the nasty stuff I was thinking about him. Then, I got up and got ready for work. It wasn't until about 30 minutes later that I realized the pain had subsided significantly. I've thought seriously about investing in a punching bag, but shooting at cans might be fun too!
    Purist, Sofa and BloodMoon like this.
  9. BloodMoon

    BloodMoon Beloved Grand Eagle

    I've also found that hitting a pile of pillows with a tennis racket works really well! :)
    Purist, HattieNC and Sofa like this.
  10. Sofa

    Sofa Well known member

    This is a great thread.
    Self loathing is much more effective if you have a punching bag to hit. It's a weird catharsis..... crying while exercising. I wish I could harness that emotional level and convert it into something positive. There HAS to be a way to do it - and I'm going to be thinking about how.
    Purist - I'm glad you asked this question. It is also what I had on my mind as well. HAGD everyone!! (have a good day)
    Purist likes this.
  11. Purist

    Purist New Member

    I'm certain anxiety about the pain causes a vicious cycle. Speaking of "food"...strangely, I feel calmer after eating. Gotta watch out for that. Thanks for sharing, Lizzy.
    Lizzy likes this.
  12. Purist

    Purist New Member

    That's awesome to hear, Jocko. Keep it up! Blood circulation helps ease that tension. I actually started cardio after my TMS...lost over 100 lbs. The back pain was one thing, but avoiding a stroke is even more important. I continue jogging 3x a week though it's still a little uncomfortable.
  13. Purist

    Purist New Member

    9 years wow. Great perseverance. I'm glad we're encouraged to exercise and do normal things. If we stayed in bed and did nothing, we would miss out, feel alone, and we'd still be in pain, so it's a loss all around. Might as well do things you enjoy....especially if it's physical.
  14. Purist

    Purist New Member

    Thanks for your detailed post, I love the examples you gave about how you went throughout the day. I have a million things causing me stress and haven't had an intense outlet for it, other than some cardio. I really gotta let more of my thoughts go and let them evaporate like Nichole Sachs has taught. Or allow myself to feel that rage, or act on it (constructively), or express it so others know how I feel.
  15. Purist

    Purist New Member

    Every time I visit Orlando and see those "Shoot live ammunition!" billboards I'm tempted.
  16. lowella

    lowella Peer Supporter

    This opened my eyes a LOT (your answer, baseball65) - takes it to a new level. I've been journaling a lot but it's not enough. But I'm coming from a program which talked about being gentle with yourself, and happy, which seemed to work as well. So I'm having trouble with balancing that difference, and getting mad and making it real. It is stressful to get angry....also what does it do long term to the inner child?
    BTW I'm mostly healed from the other program but still have tinnitus, neuropathy, plantar fasciitis etc so it feels impossible to exercise much.
    Purist likes this.
  17. ciciho

    ciciho New Member

    Hi! Loved this post, I’ve repressed anger all my life so even when I think of the things that piss me off and try and imagine my self beating someone up or whatever, I feel like a fucking actor. I have never expressed anger in any real way in EVER really. I feel like I am just saying things and it makes me want to cry. I can’t access any of the real rage even though I know it’s there
    Purist likes this.
  18. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Well... two decades later my inner child is just peachy. In fact, since Sarno's 'Freud synopsis' in HBP is largely very accurate, You couldn't 'upset' the inner child if you tried. It is a set of fears/beliefs/viewpoints that tell us the world is scary, we're all alone, we're not strong enough, good enough,etc... It is printed in there like a tattoo.

    Soothing him sounds like coddling? He (it) comes up any time I do a review, or if I am having a mild symptom warning. I sort of postulate what that little guy is thinking. I never have to necessarily 'figure it out' but having a good imagination helps.

    More important is knowing he isn't changing, IS causing me stress and I have been papering him over with 'adult' behavior that the selfish little b-tard doesn't like.

    Example.... My teeth started bugging me a couple weeks ago.

    I noticed it on the day my Mom went to the Hospital (I am her 'caretaker'...RAGE) and she might be dying. In spite of the fact that we were never particularly close, I left home at 15 and was basically an orphan the GOODIST still needs to do the RIGHT THING. I also got into an argument with my son over a work issue, had to fire another guy and had to have dinner with My brother who I have a lot of painful history with, sitting next to my Ex-wife and her new Guy...all in the same DAY.... Hows that for some repressed rage inner child shit?

    Ouch...my jaw is killing me.

    so I get out some paper, list all of that stuff....and UNLOAD. Full on screaming hissy fit in my car. I go into every detail about every perceived slight, responsibility and unfair pressure...rant,rant,rant. I crushed a couple of dozen whiffle balls into oblivion in the backyard. I talk it over with my Bro who also gets TMS and have a chat with my GF who also 'gets it'
    I write it down on paper, see where my thinking is wonky (Inventory)...see if I have done anything that requires an amends

    Oh yeah... and in the meanwhile my jaw isn't hurting. Gone.

    this is an action program...do something...anything! Cheers
    plum, Purist, HattieNC and 3 others like this.
  19. Sofa

    Sofa Well known member

    65, I really enjoy reading your posts and learn a LOT. I'm going to call you Guru from here on, if you don't mind. ?
    Purist likes this.
  20. lowella

    lowella Peer Supporter

    Very interesting, it all makes sense - thank you! There are a few things I didn't gather yet (for example, he/it doesn't change). I guess I'm not sensitive enough yet because I can't link it to other stuff when the pain comes up.
    I assume that will happen as I continue studying. And yeah that's a lot of stuff you list, and...I have a brother like you I think ;) Stay vigilant, and I will try to work some action into my program. I have a drum set, at least...maybe I can pound on that.

    Sofa, Purist and Lizzy like this.

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