That sounds like exactly what you need. You didn't get a chance to grieve him the first time around, and I think you need and deserve that chance now. This really rings true. Later on, you wrote, "(for me, maybe not for everyone)," and I think that our need to either work hard to deeply feel feelings or to merely acknowledge and release them varies not just between people but between different situations that the same person has. For example, I know that there are times when I get hung up on something, and I need to respect and acknowledge the feelings, but then I need to move on. Usually these are situations where my own baggage has invented something for me to feel (I wish I were perfect and baggage free but I'm definitely not!) and and focusing on it would only charge up my neuroses to a truly ridiculous level . At those times, once I've been mindful of my feelings, a better technique than focusing on them might be to journal about the baggage to help understand it better and maybe leave a little bit of it in the next dumpster I see. At other times, when something big happens like someone committing suicide, you just need to process. People have studied the steps involved in grieving and they can't be skipped. In the end, like so many other things with PPD/TMS, I see this as a process of discovery. Our PPD is patiently tapping us on the shoulder, letting us know that we have big things that we need to deal with. Our job is to build up our felt sense of our own emotions and our intuition (or, at least, that's how it manifests for me). What I find myself working on and learning about is how to gain a better understanding of what is going on in my emotions and what I need when.