How do I handle stress when my husband cannot?

[Cat Lady 13]

So today the clutch in the 2003 Corvette gets stuck to the floor and my husband can't go see his psychologist. He had a complete meltdown and is texting and calling me at work. He can't handle ANY type of stress. He has a friend visiting tomorrow for an overnight stay that he has not seen in 20 years which is freaking him out as well.

So as always I take care of EVERYTHING! I call the auto repair shop and talk to them. And when I get home I call and arrange a tow through our insurance company for Monday. I send the friend the best routes to our house because my husband cannot and does not travel anywhere unless I am driving. I travel to visit my friend on the other side of the state regularly.

I really don't care anything about this friend but I don't want to discourage the visit because it's the first friend he has had visit since we moved here almost 20 years ago. I just hope he doesn't have an IBS attack or a migraine and I am stuck entertaining. I had to go to meet his family last fall down in Orlando because he could not. So I represented the family.

Who the hell takes care of me? Gee I wonder why I have back pain and headaches too!! Could be 20 years of dealing with all of this crap. No wonder I have depression, anxiety and chronic pain.

How do I learn to deal with it and not feel the pain?

 

[nick]

hi cat lady 13,

that sounds exhausting but with a powerful note may you should take care of yourself first!!! Im also a person who takes a lot of care about others and forget myself very often. For me its time for a change i try to look at my needs and my wishes ...
It is not easy, but its time, cause i only can take care, if Im in balance ...
maybe it is time to stop doing things for your husband?... I read he has a lot of anxiety ...I know thats not easy, I also had horrible panic attacks ...and ok it is nice to have someone on your side and helping you, but honestly it doesnt help against anxiety and stress ... I learned to come down and to be with anxiety and to do all what I avoided. Now I can handle the panic and anxiety.... With pain it is harder for me ... I had big improvements with ignoring, see my first, doing goods things and saying: its ok pain, you can stay ...accepting and understanding is the key ( for me)
wish you the best
nick