Hi Raj, thanks for the question.
Well you can stop worrying about what will happen when you start putting pressure on yourself because it's already happening. The fear of being in new situations and exposing yourself to new responsibilities is coming up here and now, so you can begin to address it now. Sometimes that anticipation of what's coming can create all kinds of pressure and that's what it sounds like is going on. You're so concerned that you won't be able to cope with these new situations that you're creating the very scenario that you're afraid of.
Remember, the purpose behind the pain is to create fear and preoccupation. And that's exactly what's happening here! Unfortunately, by buying into that fear and obsessing over how it will play out, whether or not you will be able to cope, how bad the pain will be, etc., you are actually reinforcing the pain. Furthermore, the more you expect it to be there, the more likely it will be to arrive. Buying in to the fear and anxiety is like opening the front door and welcoming in the pain.
The bad news is that it can be very hard
not to buy in to those fears and anxiety. It feels so real! The pain is scary! Especially when you've already made a lot of progress. You feel like all your growth will evaporate.
The good news is that it can most certainly be done, with practice. Try not to make it just another source of pressure by bullying yourself into it, saying things like "I'd better not buy into this fear or else", but rather try to just observe your mind's tendency to go to that anxious place, identify it for what it is and realize that you will be ok. Because you have had previous success with TMS, you have a big advantage by knowing that in fact, the pain can't really hurt you. Don't pressure yourself into feeling like you need to totally banish the fear right away. Play with it and be patient. Check out this piece on
Outcome Independence written by Alan Gordon, I think you might find it helpful.
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