Derek S. How do I deal with everyday stresses?

[jjsurfn]

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Question

How to deal with every day stesses.

Ive been working on my healing for a couple weeks now. At first the results were pretty good and i was even able to resume some activities that my low back has kept me from doing. Recently I have been all over the place feel ok for a day or two then hurting for a day. I feel that the every day pressure and stress from running my own business are getting the best of me. The pain is moving around to all my spots from past pain. Looking for some help on how to deal with the everyday stress. I have been able to clear some old emotions up but seems soon as thing go a little wrong at work or home my anxiety picks up then the pain follows. Thanks

 

[Derek Sapico MFT]

Answer

Thanks for your question, jjsurfn.

First of all, it sounds like you're doing a really great job of challenging your symptoms and processing difficult emotions so keep up that good work. Your symptoms seem to be on the run so keep practicing outcome independence and your symptoms will continue to recede.

As for managing stress and anxiety, I would recommend practicing mindfulness and moment-to-moment anxiety regulation. In other words, try to identify what anxiety feels like for you and check in with it early and often before it leads to symptoms. Set a recurring reminder on your phone every 30 mins or so that reminds you to tend to your anxiety by doin a body scan, paying attention to your breath, and doing progressive muscle relaxation. In doing this, you send yourself a message that tending to your anxiety is a priority for you and these little micro-corrections will begin to add up.

This takes some time so be patient with the process and you will get there.

Best of luck!

-Derek

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[honey badger]

Derek, I'm a little confused. I thought anxiety is also a TMS equivalent. If it is, don't we treat it just like the pain? That is, not giving it the two "fuels" that Alan G identified in another post: fear and attention? If we're checking in with our anxiety every 30 min, aren't we giving it attention?

I follow Claire Weekes recipe when it comes to my anxiety, which is a bit of a blend of what you're saying, but without paying too much heed to it. In a nutshell, it's 100% acceptance of your anxiety symptoms (which is hard to do but her book does a great job of helping you learn how) and then going on with my life without worrying too much that my heart is racing, or that this or that symptom is grabbing a hold of my body (just like we do with TMS pain), since I know it can't hurt me. Does this sound right?

 

[BinLA]

This is an old thread, but I've asked this question to many in the TMS community for many years without ever getting a clear answer...

"Checking in with" and "observing" feelings in the body on a regular basis - whether in a "mindful" way or not always felt to me like magnifying it and emphasizing its importance.

As I understand the theory... we sit with it and supposedly become comfortable and labele the sensations to take the mystery out of them.

Except for me that never happens. They just feel awful, and I feel more awful for having spent 20 minutes focusing on how awful they feel... and after its over, have a much more clear and distinct recollection of what feeling bad was like.

That instead of just allowing it to be there until it burns off and attmpting to give it as little air time as possible. (Which seems to work better for me.)
It's also what Sarno and Weekes preached for decades.

Aren't these two different things?

*Disclaimer - I haven't kicked the condtion completely so I don't claime to be any source of what's correct when it comes to all of this.

 

[osca aelius]

Hello Binla, i also have the same problem you encounter, i also have the exact same question like you.

Im not a TMS expert, i myself sometimes still get down because TMS symptoms, but i can assure you i have ever experienced chronic anxiety in the past and overcome it a few years ago.

Like many recovered anxiety sufferer, i use claire weekes method to beat it. The trick is so simple, its to practice accepting anxiety symptoms every day, every hour, every minute, and every seconds of the day. There is no failure in practicing to accept anxiety. You can fail hundred times, falling into panic, and getting setback after you nearly thought you are already recovered. But with every practice, you acceptance muscle become stronger and you no longer fear the boring anxiety symtoms.

Ah i rumble out of nowhere and not answering your real question, so here is my take:

The mindfulness method of observing the sensations/emotions/feelings on your body isnt contradictory to claire weekes & sarno teachings. In my opinion it perfected your knowledge on how to deal with TMS/anxiety.

Just like you, i try to be mindful and observe any feelings that happened without getting caught with it, but instead trying to be mindul just caused me to obsess more about my symptoms. And here is the thing Binla, that is the function of mindfulness, to face "what is " head on without distraction or avoiding technique, to see the bigger picture behind what you feel. You focus too much and obsess about the symptoms because you dislike or fear the symptoms. And that is fine, that is what mindfulness for, to make you realize what you dislike, what you fear, what you supress. You face it head on.

If the symptoms persist, then let it be.
If you start to obsess so much, let it be, dont obsess being obsessed, let it go.
If you start to feel frustrated, let it be, observe the feelings.

Pay attention to any feelings that occur, and on top of that dont forget to love yourself.
Feeling tension on some body parts? Be mindful about it and give it attention that it needs, dont hate yourself or blame yourself for feeling bad, but also dont obsess about it, just give it attention.

I hope you get what im saying Binla

Maybe another beloved people on the forum can also help to answer?

 

[honey badger]

Hi Osca, I really appreciate your reply. It's a great reminder of how to keep accepting and letting it be, not fighting ourselves or our feelings. I haven't graduated from the need to hear these reminders. Hopefully I will one day, but it's so great to hear your thoughts on this. I really appreciate it!