I'm going to start with a little backstory. I found out about TMS and this community a little over two years ago when I had suffered from wrist pain in both of my hands. The pain was a lot worse in my right wrist, so bad that I couldn't use my right hand at all. However, after reading the book "Healing the body, healing the pain" and lurking these forums for roughly at month, all my symptoms gradually disappeared. What helped me the most was thinking that the human body is strong, and no such thing as using a computer mouse (this was what I believed was the cause to my pain) could cause serious damage to the wrists. This made it possible for me to gradually start using the computer and unlearning my fear towards it. I have been lifting weights consistently for 6 months now, and during this whole time I have suffered from various pains all over my body. My shoulders are the worst. Nowadays they hurt almost constantly and crack very loudly and painfully when I move my arms around. My knees also hurt pretty bad after training legs and crack very loudly. Despite being aware of TMS, I haven't been able to overcome the constant fear that I'm seriously injuring myself at the gym. I can't tell myself that lifting weights can't cause injuries like I did when I was recovering from my wrist pain, because it can. I also know that the my form on the exercises is not perfect, which also constantly worries me and makes me really anxious. I'm almost obsessed about my form. If I noticed I didn't perform an exercise perfectly or feel any pain during the exercises, It'll keep me worried for the rest of the day and wondering if I seriously damaged my body. I should also say that my relationship to lifting has never been healthy. Around 10 years ago, when I was in junior high, I was bullied very heavily and I've also struggled with women my whole life. This has slowly but surely destroyed my self esteem, and made me think that the only way that someone would ever like me was if I was big and muscular and handsome. I still think this way today, it's extremely deeply rooted inside me. In my world, this is the absolute truth: that I'm really ugly and worthless. The very recent and sudden breakup has also made all of these thoughts stronger than they have ever been before. All of this has made lifting weights a necessity and an obsession for me, as it's the only way I can change my appearance and be the person I want to be. I've tried this several times, but every time before I make any real progress in the gym the pain got so bad that I had to stop going to the gym completely. I don't know what to do. I think there is a fairly high change that my symptoms are caused by TMS as I have a history with it. I just don't know how to overcome the constant fear of working out, as there are real risks of injury. All this TMS stuff does is confuses me. How should I know if im injured or not, when TMS can supposedly cause pretty much every pain symptom known to man. How should I know whether my pain is due to an injury or just psychosomatic? The constant loud clicking and cracking of my joints worries me the most, if my pain would be psychosomatic, then how could my joints make loud and painful cracks? I feel hopeless. All of this feels like an impossible obstacle to overcome that is making all my dreams impossible. Thank you for reading. Any suggestions on what to do are more than welcome!