How can I work full time and recover???

I have been on this site for about 6 years. Today may have been the worst back pain I’ve experienced since 2011 when I first noticed it. I am a full- time employee which requires me to sit at a desk in an office all day. I’m also a part-time fitness instructor and have been for 34 years. I see people talking about meditating for hours/days and spending lots of “quiet time.” I don’t have the financial luxury of just not working for a while. Plus I actually like my job! My question is directed to anyone who has been able to work full-time and still was able to beat this pain.

Please, no judging... I am about ready to talk to a spine doctor. I cried off and on all morning due to the burning pain...I’ve done all the books, programs, etc. Can anyone help? Again, please don’t judge me...I’m suffering enough.

 

Can you remind us what emotional work or programs you've completed?

 

I understand this completely. I'm only on day 10 of the SEP, but I was cleared to return to work this past Monday. I realize I'm a rookie at this, but the pain makes it hard to concentrate on almost anything. I'm trying to "live with" the pain and understand that it's just a sensation, but it is so hard.

 

What really helped me was first understanding and accepting the truth of the repression mechanism, and then learning that our brains are actually wired to keep us in a constant state of fear, always looking out for danger.

These two things work together. The symptoms are created specifically to keep us alert and worried, instead of wallowing in deep negative emotions - because if you're wallowing in deep emotions, you might not see the sabre-tooth tiger waiting to eat you!

An important goal in this work is to learn to forgive your brain for giving you symptoms, and convince it that (1) you are NOT in danger, (2) you don't need the symptoms, and (3) that you will be perfectly safe if you look at your repressed emotions.

Maintaining this thought process becomes more automatic the more you do it. There will be setbacks, because the repression mechanism is literally built into the human psyche as a survival mechanism. But it does get easier to recover as you practice.

An important thing to recognize about the modern world, compared to the primitive world where this mechanism evolved, is that our primitive brains literally don't know the difference between a sabre-tooth tiger and someone who cuts you off in traffic. And that the stresses in today's world are almost infinite and often intangible, compared to the very concrete and relatively few dangers of the primitive world.

 

The fact that you like your job and find it fulfilling, is really wonderful and it gives you a greater purpose. I never meditated for one minute or journaled and I still got better. It all comes down to being very patient with yourself and persistent in shifting your focus. I did have therapy though, which was super beneficial and you may want to explore! Another thing I would recommend is to see if there are ways you can reduce stress in your day to day life and find things that you truly enjoy doing. You definitely don't have to sit home all day meditating like a trappist monk to get better lol! It really comes down to living your life. There is also a great post that the member savasana just posted under the thread "Must Read if You Want to Defeat TMS". She really gets to the heart of the matter in what she writes. I don't think a single soul would judge you here because we have all been there and know what you are going through.