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Day 25 How am i doing?

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Lasseb81, Nov 22, 2019.

  1. Lasseb81

    Lasseb81 New Member

    I started working with tms 6 months ago. I made a lot of progress in the beginning and I probably had about 20 percent symptoms left when I started 25 days ago with this program. I am going through a hard seperation since summer and the feelings around this one make it hard to let go. Since I started this program it hasn't gotten much better. I am constantly bombarded with feelings about my wife and her infidelity. I still cling to the idea of saving my marriage. I am very aware of my feelings of anger and failure, I know they stem from my childhood, as I come from a divorce family myself. I also have a feeling of addiction to my wife and am afraid of being alone. I'm very depressed and don't know what to do to get through it. Although I am aware of all those feelings, I did not think the symptoms would improve. What am I doing wrong? I also know I am perfectionist and conflicting, my self-esteem is at stake and I feel it is all my fault. I try to work with my self-esteem and comfort myself. But I didn't think it would help. I can do all the activities but I keep getting great symptoms after heavy strength training. I feel I accept the diagnosis of tms and do not fear activities, but it persists when doing heavy workouts. I have to say I am operated on back (stiffened L5-S1). But all is well and after the operation. My symptoms listed by where it is worst and most frequent. Lower back, buttocks, legs, knees and ankles. Usually at most two places at once.
     
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    When my marriage was failing, the hardest thing that both my husband and myself had to confront was the fact that we didn't want to have a failed marriage. We really had to get over ourselves, acknowledge that to each other, and move on. That being said, we were not dealing with infidelity - just very dysfunctional incompatibility as we got older.

    The best thing I can suggest for you is to dig deep, and find out what it is, in your very deepest core and sense of yourself, that is threatening your existence. You already understand that there is a connection between your own failed marriage and the failed marriage of your parents. How does your impending divorce feel to the child who experienced your parents' dysfunctional marriage? What about the infidelity - does that threaten your self-esteem? Does a divorce threaten your standing in your community? In the end, our repressed emotions are the things that threaten our core being, and how we feel about ourselves is usually rooted in childhood.
     

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