As per the SEP, I’m posting an update on my first week. As I guess it is for many people, it’s been up and down for me. I think exploring my emotions, and revisiting past events has been really helpful and allowed me to get a lot off my chest - I’m surprised at how useful journaling really is! I even had my first therapy session which was great. So either, way, I feel that this program will help me heal my emotional wounds at least! I have done 3 shifts at work (a full weeks worth for me as I’m part time) and got through them all okay. The fact I have no choice but to work, makes it easier for me to push through it with confidence instead of fear as I have nothing to lose. At home, it’s a lot, lot harder - but I did manage to play an hour of Minecraft with my friends on day 7 with minimal pain, and no preoccupation about it or anything else on my mind. The main difficulty I’m having is actually believing TMS is the root of my pain. I know I fit the personality profile. I know I have a whole heap of repressed emotions and childhood trauma to work through. But the stickler for me is that I know I also have pretty severe postural issues that could be very logically causing or contributing to my issues. So in my mind I’m a bit of a mouse in a maze, going back and forth between the TMS and PRI (postural restoration) modalities. When I’m in bed feeling pain and all the other crazy sensations I get at night it’s really easy for me to be calm through it and tell myself it’s tms, it doesn’t bother me at all. Same for when I’m walking around during the day. I’ve had mixed results at work. But when I wake up and my hands are weak, there’s always a creeping doubt that I have to shake off. Same when I’m using my computer at home. This morning (Sunday 28/05/23, day 9) I woke up with shoulder spasms, which I’ve never had before, which I think has left me under a real cloud of dread all day from which I haven’t been able to escape all day - no matter how much I soothe myself, I haven’t been able to get rid of that anxious gut feeling and breathiness. This is worrying for me as I know I have chronically tight traps, which for the longest time I have assumed are causing or contributing to my arm pains - but the spasms has made me feel like my body is helplessly deteriorating. I think I have trigger points in my forearms and shoulders, which is obviously a very physical manifestation of pain which could be caused my bad posture, poor sleep, and being sedentary - all which fit my profile. So I’m a bit at odds with the diagnosis, but will keep trying and continue with the program. The main thing I am keeping in mind is to be soothing, not to push myself, and not to panic. thanks to anyone who has supported me so far!