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Day 1 Hopeful

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by jeanf2220, Nov 25, 2015.

  1. jeanf2220

    jeanf2220 New Member

    For the past three years I have had periods of bladder spasms where I feel like I constantly need to pee. I have convinced myself many times that I have an urinary tract infection but when I go to the doctor they can never find anything wrong. I have been to four different urologists, undergone a number of tests, taken numerous "overactive bladder" medications (I'm 30 years old so quite young for an overactive bladder diagnosis) and tried various diets to no avail. My husband is convinced my symptoms are TMS- he has been able to cure his own back pain and knee by reading Sarno's books.

    The past three years have been very stressful. My spasms started around the time my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. She has since passed away, my husband and I have moved across the country twice, and my father has become disabled and homebound. I can definitely see the psychological connection between stress in my life and my bladder- I just have a hard time truly believing there is nothing physically wrong with me.

    It does not look like there are any TMS therapists in my area so my plan is to go through the structured education program on this Wiki. I am very hopeful that this will finally work!
    KevinB likes this.
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Jean. Welcome to the TMS community. You have definitely come to the right place to heal your bladder spasms and any other symptoms.
    I can see that fear and anxiety are among those.

    Your bladder problems, needing to pee often, are very common to TMS sufferers. I am 85 and find that if I am under stress, I have to urinate more often.
    My subconscious seems to know this because some nights I wake up to urinate only once, but other nights three times. I thought I had bladder problems but it's just emotional stress.

    Your husband has it right... he healed his back and knee pain by believing they were caused by TMS emotions, now you have to do the same,
    but believe it 100 percent or it doesn't work.

    You have gone through a lot of emotional stress from your mother's cancer and now worrying about your father. Being disabled and homebound are not the worst things in the world. If you live near him, do what you can to help him, but also consider contacting agencies that care for the homebound.
    My sister is homebound from injuries after a fall, and one of her daughters is living with her. But when it got too much for my niece a few months ago and she contacted a service that sends a woman to help my sister on a part-time basis. It can be a lot cheaper than sending your father to a nursing home and he will be much happier staying at home.

    When I can't manage living alone, I'm going to contact one of those home-care agencies. I already have a service that brings lunch and dinner to me three times a week for $8 a day, so I don't have to drive to the supermarket so much, and I also use Peapod, a food delivery service. I order a two-week supply of essentials and it costs just a little more than the supermarkets, and the food and household supplies are delivered to my house. Something like that could help your father.

    Try not to worry about your father or anything, and follow your good husband's advice that you will heal because your problem is psychological and not physical. It's TMS.

    I like the attitude of that young minister whose wife was murdered. He said the Lord knows what He is doing, and believes that "the best is yet to come."

    Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow.
    KevinB likes this.
  3. jeanf2220

    jeanf2220 New Member

    Thank you so much for your encouragement and suggestions Walt!

    Unfortunately I live across the the country from my father (I'm on the west coast, he's on the east coast). My husband and I moved from the west when my mom was super sick- we stayed for two years but then had to move back for my husband's job. I am thankful to have been able to be close to my parents for that time but I feel very guilty for being far away again. My brother does live close to my dad and the two of us have helped set up various people to help my dad (meals, transportation to appointments etc.) and for now everything is going well all things considered.

    I'm trying very hard not to worry and to trust that everything will heal in time. I will keep reading this wiki!

    Happy Thanksgiving to you too!
  4. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi jeanf2220,

    Welcome to this forum and Wiki. I think you have found what will help you. You have so many confirmations: "nothing wrong" from the doctors, your husband's opinion (and he knows you well), and your understanding about the stresses in your life lately, including the guilt.

    I suggest you do the Recovery Program as well. This will teach you more about the habitual ways you treat yourself, moment-to-moment. We all have these painful patterns, and these patterns can be observed, worked with, and understood as important sources of your TMS. With understanding, TMS subsides.

    Andy B.
    KevinB likes this.
  5. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Happy Thanksgiving, Jean and Andy. Be thankful for everything, blessings and pain (it bring us closer to understanding ourselves and others).
  6. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Walt,
    Happy Thanksgiving. I appreciate your gentle ways, with yourself, and in guiding others.
    Andy B.

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