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Hitting a wall

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Livinginhope, Aug 2, 2017.

  1. Livinginhope

    Livinginhope Peer Supporter

    So in my 27th day, I am hitting a wall with excruciating new foot pain. Intellectually, I know that the pain I am feeling is disproportionate to why I may have it, but nevertheless, I am struggling with it as well as bad insomnia. I have struggled with insomnia for many years, some times worse than others, but this feels as though it is not a co-incidence. I have read about insomnia on this site that it is often a co-occuring issue with people with TMS. Oddly or perhaps not oddly enough, just prior to this spell of pain and insomnia , I was really starting to feel as though I had claimed my life back again. Work was going well, I was feeling hopeful, I was feeling happy. Is my mind now punishing my body for not listening? Is my mind saying that they are really in charge and that it will not allow me to claim control of the pain and insomnia in my body?

    I would so appreciate if anyone has hit a similar wall on this path weighing in on what they did and how they handled it. This is so frustrating.

  2. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

  3. Livinginhope

    Livinginhope Peer Supporter

    Ellen, can you come live with me? I love your responses to me on this forum and am so appreciative. I actually have a little bit of a different theory about my insomnia, which I have considered for a long time.
    As most TMS sufferers, I expected the most from myself, but am never sure if I will be quite good enough. If I don't get enough sleep, it gives me a reason not to perform my best. I take it easy on myself the next day, abdicating from most things that would require a lot of effort. After all, if I am too tired, who could expect me to be at the top of my game, myself included. This abdicating from life has given me all kinds of excuses not to engage;I am too tired, I have chronic Lyme, my pain is too intense when I walk, etc. I never seem to run out of chronicities to draw on to keep me from really living up to my real potential. Even with this realization, I am still pretty successful in my field; but then again, never quite as great as I could be. This always gives me a backdoor. I guess that is partly why I am so reluctant to let go of any of these ailments. I call it "familiar discomfort" to my clients; but I see that I am just as guilty of this as they are. I describe "Familiar discomfort" as not being really happy or comfortable with where you are but knowing that the familiarity is something that does not rock the boat, so it is a disincentive to change. My clients often say that they do not do well with change. Perhaps that is my problem as well. I think of change as the most exhilarating and frightening word in the English language; embracing it gives us life and hope; without out it only brings darkness and death.
    Ellen likes this.
  4. TheWayBackUp

    TheWayBackUp Peer Supporter

    I am only on day 15 but from what I understand roadblocks are normal. I bet your body is not sure what it makes of all this. It sounds like you understand what is going on already. I hope you get it sorted out. Sorry I can't be of more help.

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