deborah24/7
New Member
hello
Iv'e not posted a thread before.... I'm more of a skulker of this site
I am currently however seeking some encouragement in the face of a big back flip ( pardon the pun)
of my TMS pain.
It's been about a year and a half of knowing about tms and implimenting the concepts into my life... I've had great success on and off, Have managed to maintain it to 95% healed most of the time.. the odd few days of OMG I'm cured!! only to not trust that and back come a few twinges to keep me on edge....
In hindsight I can see I clearly wasn't ready to trust EVERYTHING... I still had thoughts like well I'm feeling so good I won't garden today in case it ruins it!!! and better stick to swimming because I know thats ok.... so yeah as I write that I can see some doubt...
I was at the point though of not being on tms wilki just going along with Caulfields idea of just enjoy life... This is easy enough to do when the pain is levelled out or barely there... SO hard to do when the smallest movement sends searing stabs down your legs etc......... and that's where I am right now.....
4 weeks ago after one of my OMG I'm so cured days I felt a sharp twinge in my left hip/groin and I ignored it,, went to the pictures but it didn't go away and by the next day I couldn't bend!! Over the next 4 weeks the pain has moved from left to right, from abdomen to flank to groin to thigh to lower back, a good day a bad day all the while I just got on with it thinking it will dissipate.........
It didn't.. It feels like it is my hip flexors as I literally can't lift my left leg it hurts so much in the groin and up my flank...... anyway today its all on the left and last Saturday the pain was SO intense on my RIGHT that I ended up in an ambulance in ER because I couldn't walk!!!!
THAT right there was my worst fear realised..... I had had one of those attacks once before many years ago and have lived in fear of it happening again,,, I used to say to my tms... throw whatever you want at me because nothing can be scarier than crawling on your knees in public!!! and it has ... thrown my worst fear at me............ now what............
I feel more scared because it CAN happen again................
There was no good reason........... nothing OBVIOUS......... except fear........
Anyway What's my point... I'm not sure..... The whole hip flexor thing is weird as Im not a runner... they are not over used... but the pain is excruciating............. ( I had x rays all good)
On paper it clearly is tms but I can't just get on with it because it really really hurts and resting makes it just as bad............. How do I get out of this loop???
It is so disheartening as it feels lke Im back to the beginning and then some............
Steve says it only feels that way if I perceive it that way and I GET that but it's hard NOT to when you're incapacitated..................
any thoughts appreciated............. deborah
Iv'e not posted a thread before.... I'm more of a skulker of this site
I am currently however seeking some encouragement in the face of a big back flip ( pardon the pun)
of my TMS pain.
It's been about a year and a half of knowing about tms and implimenting the concepts into my life... I've had great success on and off, Have managed to maintain it to 95% healed most of the time.. the odd few days of OMG I'm cured!! only to not trust that and back come a few twinges to keep me on edge....
In hindsight I can see I clearly wasn't ready to trust EVERYTHING... I still had thoughts like well I'm feeling so good I won't garden today in case it ruins it!!! and better stick to swimming because I know thats ok.... so yeah as I write that I can see some doubt...
I was at the point though of not being on tms wilki just going along with Caulfields idea of just enjoy life... This is easy enough to do when the pain is levelled out or barely there... SO hard to do when the smallest movement sends searing stabs down your legs etc......... and that's where I am right now.....
4 weeks ago after one of my OMG I'm so cured days I felt a sharp twinge in my left hip/groin and I ignored it,, went to the pictures but it didn't go away and by the next day I couldn't bend!! Over the next 4 weeks the pain has moved from left to right, from abdomen to flank to groin to thigh to lower back, a good day a bad day all the while I just got on with it thinking it will dissipate.........
It didn't.. It feels like it is my hip flexors as I literally can't lift my left leg it hurts so much in the groin and up my flank...... anyway today its all on the left and last Saturday the pain was SO intense on my RIGHT that I ended up in an ambulance in ER because I couldn't walk!!!!
THAT right there was my worst fear realised..... I had had one of those attacks once before many years ago and have lived in fear of it happening again,,, I used to say to my tms... throw whatever you want at me because nothing can be scarier than crawling on your knees in public!!! and it has ... thrown my worst fear at me............ now what............
I feel more scared because it CAN happen again................
There was no good reason........... nothing OBVIOUS......... except fear........
Anyway What's my point... I'm not sure..... The whole hip flexor thing is weird as Im not a runner... they are not over used... but the pain is excruciating............. ( I had x rays all good)
On paper it clearly is tms but I can't just get on with it because it really really hurts and resting makes it just as bad............. How do I get out of this loop???
It is so disheartening as it feels lke Im back to the beginning and then some............
Steve says it only feels that way if I perceive it that way and I GET that but it's hard NOT to when you're incapacitated..................
any thoughts appreciated............. deborah