Hi all, I just joined a few days ago, and prematurely jumped into a thread, responding and also asking newcomer questions. My apologies and thank you for your patience and welcomes. A week ago yesterday, my amazing Occupational Therapist (I now call her my angel) recommended Dr. Sarno's book, Mindbody Prescription, after Really Listening to me through my tears, and having had her own success story with the book. As I have heard others say, it feels like my name is on every page. This book has rocked my world in an amazing way, and at age 65, I am stunned at how this TMS diagnosis explains most of my life! In a nutshell, I struggled mightily in my younger years (teens and young adult years) with childhood trauma, had a serious breakdown from it all at age 19, eventually joined a 12 step group, and promptly the painful physical problems (including numerous TMS equivalents) started up, with thousands of health seeking efforts pursued all these years since. spending all money that showed up, with some reprieves until the next pain / health issue turned up. I realized the other day: my brain was trying to protect me as I started in that 12 step program, age 30, to unearth the many repressed emotions that brought on the breakdown, so: bring on the physical pain to focus on instead - let's not repeat that bad emotional breakdown.....wow, imagine realizing this all these years later, phew, still swallowing it all.....but Very Grateful - light at the end of this tunnel! I am so taken with all of this , that I ordered and have started The Great Pain Deception, am listening to the many great YouTubes of interviews with Dr. Sarno, Steve, and the wonderful people on the Wall of Victory. I keep rereading parts of the Mindbody Perception book, esp. the 'recommended program part' - thinking psychologically , not physically. I am diving into this with my TMS kind of personality, achiever, don't give up - serving me now! I absolutely believe the diagnosis in my case. Currently I am at the end of a knee pain issue. As soon as that was mostly resolved, my shoulders developed horrendous pain, which 'seemed' to be a result of crutches. (crafty brain - trigger on those crutches!) I now know better! The ortho even said - you have good shoulder xrays - why so much pain I wonder? So I am no longer crying incessantly about the shoulders pain (haven't cried since I got Dr. Sarno's book, when before I felt so despairing I was crying alot daily) , practicing TMS ideas, have hope, and trying to enjoy my life again. I am blessed to be a musician, love singing and have many musician friends with whom I play. I play bluegrass music - the mandolin, and Love singing those harmonies. Interestingly: a couple weeks ago I played , enjoying myself, but was incredibly sore after. A couple days ago, same thing, but not sore after. The first time I was worrying I was way overdoing it (lots of arm action, affecting shoulders, on the instrument), so I see that worry brought on lots of pain, when I thought the cause was the playing. This past time, I had unusually less pain after than I usually do! I was having fun and making a point of enjoying my passion, not worrying! I'm going on and on, thank you for your patience. I am so glad for this forum, as I basically have noone to really talk about it with who gets it. A few friends are already getting sick of hearing about it....I understand. Anyway, my goal is to be healed and help others. TMS is Very Hard, And I understand it is a wake up call - I have had several such calls in my life and actually much recovery from hard things, along with Many Blessings (including a new grandson who gives me great Joy !). This is the Final Frontier I feel to be really free....It takes as long as it takes! I'm a young 65 with lots of living left....pain free will be amazing!!! I had an experience today (an injury) that seems so ridiculous, but so related to all of this I think, I must ask what you think, those who got this far, this lengthy post! I was feeling pretty good, already getting better at a positive attitude, easy does it, relaxing more. After a shower, I proceeded to stub my toe quite badly on the corner of the wall. I almost laughed, is this possible? now? I've got knee issues , shoulders issues, and now my toe is temporarily out of commission??I decided , with my new TMS training , to take it lightly, not make a big worried deal of it, use ice, my arnica, tape the toe to the other toes, take a day off, foot up for a day (I was going to walk , do laundry , all on the agenda, but realized not smart, just chill, recover quickly over this thing, not a big deal, don't make it worse by pushing, not chronic, just briefly acute....)......So here is my question: not to get Too psychological, but it sure seems to me that my brain is so determined to keep me physically focused on pain, that it needs to have a final little party before letting this go....just my intuition....What do you think? Can anyone relate? Keeping a sense of humor, and have told my brain: I DO NOT need or want you to divert me anymore from my emotions! Thank you for trying to protect me, but you can stop now, and instead please use the same energy to increase my blood flow in these shoulders! and now toe, for God's sake.... Bless you for reading and being here. I am so very moved by Dr. Sarno, Steve, and all the amazing people who have healed from this and are involved in this amazing life-saving information. I'll be reading more on the forum as time goes on. Thank you all! Mandomom P.S. I wonder, is it possible to access the Dr. Sarno documentary, All The Rage, yet, does anyone know? Thank you.