dancerwannabe
Newcomer
My right knee started hurting 20 years ago. Originally I attributed the pain to an "injury" during a tae kwon do class, only because I had a memory of my knee twisting or hyperextending once and feeling pain at the time. Over the years I've seen many medical professionals for the pain, including orthopedists, a rheumatologist, an osteopath, several physical therapists, massage therapists, acupuncturists, and even a homeopathic practitioner. I've been x-rayed and MRI'd many times. Although a few of the professionals I saw gave me some kind of nebulous diagnosis, like chondromalacia patella or patellofemoral syndrome, most concluded there was nothing really structurally wrong with me, and they could not account for the pain, which is constant, but fluctuates in degree. I tried every solution that was recommended (including surgery), to no avail.
Then almost 10 years ago I started having regular pain in my lower back. (I've also had bouts of neck pain and shoulder/arm pain, but the lower back pain is the persistent symptom.) It hurts every day. There's no rhyme or reason as to what makes it worse: either rest or overuse, sitting or standing, morning or evening. Again, doctors, chiropractors and other professionals have varying opinions on the cause of pain and recommended course of treatment. Nothing I've tried seems to help.
I first heard of Dr. Sarno's theory more than a decade ago (before I had chronic back pain), from someone I met who said it helped him. I thought it sounded interesting, but didn't think it applied to me - I don't have an anger problem!!
A week ago I listened to the audiobook version of Dr. Sarno's "Mindbody Prescription." And yup, saw myself on every page, especially the perfectionist and "goodist" tendencies. So I bought "Healing Back Pain" and "The Divided Mind" and Ozanich's "Great Pain Deception" and started looking at this wiki and watching some of the videos posted here.
I'm convinced I have TMS/PPD/Mindbody Syndrome. I'm feeling hopeful about recovery, but also afraid that it won't work for me. I'm so used to being the "medical mystery" - the patient who defies explanation and who doesn't respond to treatment (not for lack of trying). And as much as I think of myself as an emotionally expressive person, or at least someone who is in touch with her feelings, as well as someone who's had a lot of psychotherapy, I know I still need to do a lot of hard work in that area. And that feels scary to me. Which is why I avoided reading Dr. Sarno's books or really exploring the pain/emotion connection in myself, even though I've known deep down (but didn't want to admit to myself) for at least 5 years that my pain was primarily psychogenic.
The Day 1 question is "what would a life without TMS mean to me?" First, I've been cutting down on, or avoiding altogether, certain activities I love, like tennis and dancing (hence my name here). So life without TMS means I'd be more active and having a lot more fun. It also means peace and freedom. I'm paying too big a price by holding onto my pain.
Then almost 10 years ago I started having regular pain in my lower back. (I've also had bouts of neck pain and shoulder/arm pain, but the lower back pain is the persistent symptom.) It hurts every day. There's no rhyme or reason as to what makes it worse: either rest or overuse, sitting or standing, morning or evening. Again, doctors, chiropractors and other professionals have varying opinions on the cause of pain and recommended course of treatment. Nothing I've tried seems to help.
I first heard of Dr. Sarno's theory more than a decade ago (before I had chronic back pain), from someone I met who said it helped him. I thought it sounded interesting, but didn't think it applied to me - I don't have an anger problem!!
A week ago I listened to the audiobook version of Dr. Sarno's "Mindbody Prescription." And yup, saw myself on every page, especially the perfectionist and "goodist" tendencies. So I bought "Healing Back Pain" and "The Divided Mind" and Ozanich's "Great Pain Deception" and started looking at this wiki and watching some of the videos posted here.
I'm convinced I have TMS/PPD/Mindbody Syndrome. I'm feeling hopeful about recovery, but also afraid that it won't work for me. I'm so used to being the "medical mystery" - the patient who defies explanation and who doesn't respond to treatment (not for lack of trying). And as much as I think of myself as an emotionally expressive person, or at least someone who is in touch with her feelings, as well as someone who's had a lot of psychotherapy, I know I still need to do a lot of hard work in that area. And that feels scary to me. Which is why I avoided reading Dr. Sarno's books or really exploring the pain/emotion connection in myself, even though I've known deep down (but didn't want to admit to myself) for at least 5 years that my pain was primarily psychogenic.
The Day 1 question is "what would a life without TMS mean to me?" First, I've been cutting down on, or avoiding altogether, certain activities I love, like tennis and dancing (hence my name here). So life without TMS means I'd be more active and having a lot more fun. It also means peace and freedom. I'm paying too big a price by holding onto my pain.
I will focus on staying positive and acknowledging that writing and shifting my thinking is work, and that it will change things for the better.
