Help

[joseph32]

I am having very difficult few days and today has been really hard. Since my TMS discovery, I have been gradually improving. But the last couple days I have been hurting a lot more and anxiety is through the roof! I also have had or cried several times. Is this normal? Please offer some help. Thanks!

 

[Lily Rose]

*gentle hugs*

Perhaps the question of normal might be ... discarded. Rather, honor that you are feeling this way, without being overly concerned about the word 'normal'. Normal is one of those judgment-words. It it normal? Am I normal? We seek to 'be' normal, so that we fit in.

The ebbs and flows of emotions ... this is a natural part of our cycles. Anxiety when pain arises happens out of fear. We all experience various fears in various forms.

Don't lock yourself in that box, Joseph. Know that it will pass. Breathe. We are all there, whether it is in the past, present, or still to come, we are all there in our memories or immediate existence. You are not alone. You are not alone.

If you have shed tears, then that is exactly what your body needed. Releasing tears also releases toxins of both physical nature and emotional. Let the tears flow. Give yourself permission. When the tears are done, take that deep breath (it will likely be a shaky breath), gather your strength and resolve, and rise up. We are here with our hands extended to help your balance.

You are safe, you are strong.
Believe this.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^

 

[nancy]

Hi Joseph 32. Just try to relax as much as possible. It is very hard at times but if you truly
believe this is tms, relaxation will help you through the rough times. I have had 8 years of leg and
back pain and then I walked off an airplane a few months ago and has NO Pain!! I knew then for
sure it was tms. I have undergone many tests, probably 25 Dr's, that's it. Just follow what Lily Rose
and others have expressed to you. Know you will be fine. Read, practice meditation, mental control. Be well, Nancy

 

[Msunn]

Hi Joseph. You've already gotten some great suggestions.

It's a scary thing but TMS healing is not linear, like healing from a sprained ankle for instance. As I was coming to accept that I had TMS this caused me severe anxiety and panic, so you're not alone. I'd have a few good days, then a return of all symptoms like starting over, moving symptoms, illogical pains that come and go. It's hard not to be fearful when that is happening.

A big part of getting better was learning that my current anxiety, fear and panic were causing TMS symptoms to get worse. This Dr Sarno quote spoke to me. "In the long run, fear and preoccupation with physical restrictions are more effective as a psychological defense than pain"

Guided meditations have helped me, breathing deeply when I feel anxious also helps. One meditation that I got a lot out of is by Dr Emmett Miller, who is a pioneer of mind-body medicine
http://drmiller.pinnaclecart.com/browse-mp3-downloads/abolish-anxiety-mp3-download/64 His explanation of anxiety is really great. You might find it helpful.

I've also done my share of crying dealing with TMS. It's helped me release some stored up grief, sadness etc. It's not weakness to feel emotions. Suppressing them is what got me here!

I've learned to be kind and gentle with myself. Anxiety and fear are just emotions, not facts. When I watch them without adding additional worry and fear, they pass.

I like the saying "this too will pass" when I'm feeling discouraged. You're going to be ok.

Wishing you the best

 

[Lily Rose]

It's a scary thing but TMS healing is not linear...

Non-linear ... for me, this presents such challenges. As a child, in 4th/5th grade, I was a student of the Viola. Such a pretty name, and not so screechy as a Violin. When my beloved Dad (mother's 2nd husband) brought home a piano that had survived fire, I immediately lost interest in the Viola and began teaching myself the piano. It was lovely. So straight and clear. So linear. So honest.

Linear allows you to see your path clearly. Confusions arise when the paths overlap (think: transition to guitar!). Our minds latch onto clarity, and invest emotional needs upon the visions and experiences. We feel great today, and the expectation is set into stone for tomorrow. We are crushed by a sense of betrayal when the pain laughs at us from yet another hidden fear.

This can lead to anger, or even if it just lingers in fear ... the subconscious has done its job.

Offer love instead of those negative responses. Soothe like you would soothe a distressed and fearful child. Hold it close, rock it gently against your heart.

We are all wounded warriors. Our strengths lie in the simple truth of: We do not give up.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^

 

[Pingman]

Joseph - Hang in there. The crying is a good thing. Like you, my anxiety came on sudden and since it was a new feeling it has been overwhelming at times. It is what has kept me from believing me thinking that my tension headaches, dizziness and sore eyes were tension related. My therapy has really released some pent up emotion and major crying episodes.

Honestly, I think I have shed 36 years worth of tears over the last month. Two things have happened since last Thursday for me. I have had zero panic attacks.... I have been able to stop them when I feel anxious. I slept last night without a sleeping pill or xanax.

My TMS I think is a combo of two things for me. I was not loving myself, and I had turned away from God. Between the self destructive things I was telling myself inside but the act I was putting putting on a happy face on the outside, work stress, obligations as a father/husband, coupled with repressed childhood issues like you have.....the health anxiety tipped me overboard. For me, my faith is important but I had been going through the motions and trying to solve it all by myself.

I went to church last Sunday and the sermon was on fear.... and 1 Peter. I was having anxiety in church and this hit me like a ton of bricks. Out of no where, my pastor asked if I would participate in a skit in front of the church with my son. Never happened in 7 years I have been going there. Then this Sunday, the sermon was on gods timing and why he doesn't give you what you want right away when you ask for it. He waits until the time is right for you.

The self love I needed to be giving myself and dealing with my issues and obligations connected with not allowing God to help me is where I am focused.

I saw a St. Jude commercial yesterday and there were these beautiful little kids. They kept saying, you have to be positive and fight...thats all you can do. A positive attiutude can help win the battle. I am sitting in my chair thinking, I have tension headaches and sore eyes and these poor kids have brain tumors and Chemo.

So I am looking at life through the eyes of a child today.....trying to see the good in my life while dealing with the bad in a way I never have.

I think TMS for me has bee 'eye opening'. I have never thought about life in any fashion. Like you, work and promotions have come easy. I awoke on the weekends to coffee and the news, maybe some golf or hunting and then family time .TMS and anxiety forces you to look inside if you want to fix it and I'll be honest, I didn't like having to think. Thinking about feelings and having to work to try and get better overwhelmed me....I wanted the quick fix.

I have to believe that once I kick this 100% that my life will take on a whole new meaning. It will be richer and more serving of the lord. I don't care anymore about the self conscious feelings I had, physical imperfections I hated about myself. Reflecting back no one else did either

Joseph - when my anxiety starts on me I stop and talk to my mind. I first think about what I am thinking of when I get anxious to see if its the part of me worried about the anxiety itself and head pain or am I anxious about maybe doing something or my family. Then I try and ask that part what does it fear. Then I reassure it it will be ok. if the anxiety still spikes I tell the part of my mind that is using the anxiety to try and stop the part thats worried from coming out to stop being a bully. That I know it means well but its actually hurting me. Finally, I talk to god and thank him for giving me the tools, people who have showed me these things and for giving me the menatl strength to try and tackle this issue.

1 Peter 5:6-10
New International Version (NIV)
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

 

[Lily Rose]

I have to believe that once I kick this 100% that my life will take on a whole new meaning.

I would like to offer an alternative view: Your life can take on a whole new meaning .... right this moment.

Waiting is how we stuff things. We think "When I lose 40 pounds, my life will be better", "When I earn a higher salary, my life will be better", "When I finish this project, my life will be better", "When ........................"

Will you really wait until you kick this 100% for your life to take on a new meaning? Waiting is simply a procrastination, another diversion of the mind.

It has already taken on a new meaning. You are here. You are questioning. You are searching and opening your heart into your self.

Don't fall into outcome dependence. Honor who you are, right this moment. Honor and love who you are.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^

 

[Pingman]

Lily - great point. So very hard to do but I do need to do that.

 

[joseph32]

Thank you all, your support means so much.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

I think crying can help relieve our stresses,
but also have had great results with laughing.

Soon as something bugs me, even almost sends me into a rage,
I stop and laugh. I pretend the rage is something to laugh at.
Within seconds of laughing, the feeling of anger or rage goes away.
I even forget what p---ed me off in the first place.

Try laughing. It woiks!

 

[nancy]

Walt, I used to cry all the time and for some reason it is hard to cry now?? I don't know
why I find it hard to cry now? Maybe ptst? I used to cry a lot and hard when I needed to,
only normal for a woman. I miss talking to you, Nancy

 

[nancy]

Walt, I used to cry all the time and for some reason it is hard to cry now?? I don't know
why I find it hard to cry now? Maybe ptst? I used to cry a lot and hard when I needed to,
only normal for a woman. I miss talking to you, Nancy