Help

Hello, I need support , my back pain came
back and I am in a lot of pain, I also have fear of having TMS because I know is not that easy to heal, I am a mom, I work and I am suffering for my children, this is like the 4th time I get backpain but is so painful, dont know what to don't not what to do to get better

 

Thank you both, I have read all Dr Sarnos books, I actually saw him when I got the first back pain ever, I am
just overwhelmed because the pain is a lot , when I sit hurts so much, I have to work, worry how I am going to take care of my children, but I did not got hurt, butvsince I had this pain before and lasted months , then weeks, this is why I am scared, because is a pain that came from nowhere and is so hard! I dont know what to do , where to start, help

 

@Sunrise1
If you have not yet, go get checked out by your Dr. that's important and Dr. Sarno always recommended it.

Work on your anxiety. You are freaking out by saying things like "I don't know what to do" (yes, you do know what you need to do, you are just resisting the work) and "HELP" etc. you have put yourself in a panic. TMS pain never comes out of "nowhere" - it comes out of stress and anxiety.
Panic and anxiety will keep the nervous system in fight/flight (since Dr. Sarno did his initial work, there has been more science behind the neuroscience of pain and it's impact on the nervous system). Meditation can help. Insight Timer is a free ap with loads of free meditations. Perhaps you can try something simple like a 10 minute breathing meditation both morning and night. You'll have to adjust your schedule but I think you probably already realize that you need to do something in that area - you need time for YOU. You need to do things to de-escalate the panic and anxiety so that your nervous system can find some harmony.

You have some choices:
Re-read any book by Sarno. Even if you've already read it, it's clear you need a refresher. You already know what to do but TMS has you scrambling to think you don't ... so refresh that knowledge! Or, instead of reading a book by Dr. Sarno you might choose instead to look at the work of one of his protege's: Nichole Sach's. Her work is very much written for women (not exclusively) - her experiences mirror yours. You might find she speaks to you - her latest book outlines the work that has helped her and many others overcome symptoms. She gives more explicit directions in how to do the TMS work than Sarno does in his books.

@JanAtheCPA offered you a link to the free program on this forum. It requires 1/2 a day (or as frequently as you can fit it into your schedule).

Look at the practical day to day load you are carrying now and make adjustments as needed: you have options -

Hire a baby sitter a few hours a week so you get some "me" time - go get your nails done or go for a walk or find a quiet place to journal and cry and rage and get all the stress out, or engage in hobbies you enjoy but had to put by the wayside.
Use modern conveniences: grocery deliver or a meal delivery (that shops and plans for your meals: you just cook 'em), cleaning service, mowing and or snow blowing service.
If you have a spouse, begin to make adjustments - as you begin to navigate your emotional and personality trait landscape again you can better begin to voice your needs either to a spouse or to yourself to get the assistance you need when and where you need it.
If your children are old enough to begin doing some tasks for themselves, teach them and allow them do make lunches, fold laundry, etc.
If you also have to play chauffeur to a million activities - begin to re-examine that schedule and make some changes. You need time for you.

Remind yourself that the pain is temporary, the adjustment to schedule and need for help is temporary, that this stage of your life (balance kids/work) is temporary, but that the skills you learn to manage stress and emotions are for a lifetime.


Let us know what you choose to begin with.

 

Thank you for all this, yes I have so much in my plate I dint know where to start, I am also feeling worry that I wont be able to work, I been in this same pain for a week and doesn’t change, I want to do the work but sometimes I feel confused, when I saw Dr Sarno he said to me just write , it was so simple, he gave me a lost of what I should do but it was so long ago I dont have that list anymore, I think inside of me I know I did not hurt myself, but the pain is so much that is scary, I appreciate all your suggestions, I can journal but what if I dont know exactly what is it that give me all this , I am confused, I am going to try to meditate before bed and when I wake up see if that help me, if you know any posts of someone whose back pain came back, more then once in full fierce I will like to read for support

Thank you from my heart

 

@Sunrise1
Since it was so long ago, it might be best to re-visit a book. I think it will help jog your memory and bring back some of your trust in his theory.
Start with the 12 points he asked his patients to recite daily - here's his list: https://www.painoutsidethebox.com/dr-sarno-12-daily-reminders
Journal - is an excellent tactic to get your feelings "Said" into words - and to acknowledge the emotions Sarno suggests we all bury. Remember the one big thing he said to notice and acknowledge is possible buried RAGE - this rage isn't rational, and it might not jive with what you think is "proper" or what you feel like you believe - this is subconscious rage - your inner, demanding 2 year old who simply wants to put their fingers in their ears and scream at everyone to leave them alone, kick shins and eat fudge. You have kids, you get this
As for meditation: meditation is not something Sarno necessarily used. Modern TMS therapists sometimes use this (or other techniques) to help people begin to regulate their nervous systems. You get stuck in fight/flight and the nervous system meter stays on "high alert". You need to get your nervous system to slowly begin to get back into it's regular flow which really co-responds to things like emotions, how you treat yourself etc. Meditation can help with this by helping you separate from the fear and anxious thoughts. It gives you a few minutes to just get the perspective that although you FEEL like you are falling apart, you are really actually OK because you are living and breathing. It helps you strip everything down to the most basic of truths, and gives you a few minutes of peace. It is not a "fix".
There are MANY people here who have had their pain return or new pains in other places return. Flares are actually pretty normal. Nobody can guarantee that you will be symptom free for life. We are thinking, feeling humans who have body sensations and emotions. To never have pain again or anxiety again would kind of be like hoping to be an automaton robot. We go through ups and downs.
You are desperate. It's been a week, which in the grand scheme of things is not very long.
Personally I think you are absolutely amazing to have gone as long as you did without having some flares. It's pretty rare.
Flares can also be very short lived. Once you start doing the work again, being kind to yourself, can calm down a bit, loose the desperation and fear of the "what if's" you will get through this.
Start simple. Read a few pages of Sarno daily. Journal or start the Free Structured Educational program and do one lesson a day (or as often as you can). Try meditating and stick with it for awhile try once or if you can, twice a day. Make time for yourself in your schedule and get the help you need.

I think once you begin to stand up for yourself and your needs, things will begin to settle down a bit for you.

 

It takes a bit of time to see what works and what doesnt. Id try and mentally create a safe space and just no pressure and have some compassion for yourself. Just feel the pain and what it makes you feel. I get that theres a lot of people dependent on you but just cut yourself some slack

 

thank you ❤️