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That's way too far away for me to go haha. But iv had a colorectal surgeon , a urologist, about 12 general practitioners, 2 pelvic floor therapists, 3 cbt therapists and a tms therapist who say it's a stress related issue. I think that should be proof enough. I'm a hypochondriac so that's probably why I can't let go. But like so many of my friends have said.... if it was serious ud be dead or very ill by now. Serious conditions don't just disappear sometimes they would certainly keep you awake at night. And alcohol or a nice relaxing holiday certainly wouldn't make it go away. If I sit on a tennis ball or even just touch the area that aches it goes away. No passing blood or mucous or anything else. I have even had a proctoscope in there.... twice at my own request. So now for some reason I'm worried I need to see a tms physician lol. But I can't and don't need to

 

Maybe I could at least email the physician or is this again just another way of me torturing myself looking for answers

 

I mean I had this a few years ago and I was in a good period in my life. I see to get it when I was stressed but was able to just ignore it and move on. then it would fade until I suppose I eventually forgot about it

 

How far from you is Dr. Straiton in Brighton?

 

Iv kind of answered all my own questions haven't I haha.

 

About 300 miles

 

Maybe take a vacation to Brighton, it's a beach town isn't it?

 

I

 

I don't think I really need to Tom. I have been told many times what it is. I just have to break the obsession

 

But because I'm a health anxiety sufferer I'm now thinking I need to. but it's so ridiculous.

 

And I had a cold last week and a bad sore throat. And I felt no pain at all because I was focused on the sore throat. I had it in 2014 and I broke my finger and I felt no pain only the finger. I'm too hard on myself and am searching too much. I beat it before and can do it again. I guess because I have got myself into a depression it just magnifies everything.

 

Remember, depression is also a TMS/affective symptom.

G'luck!

 

Can you see tom why I don't want to pursue this tms physician lol. No need to. Just want to forget it.

 

Sure, ultimately you control your mindbody health decisions.

 

This is the last time I ask. It's gotta be psychological hasn't it lol.

 

Highly likely, butt no one can dx you over the internet even a doctor--but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express, in Winnemucca, Nevada in October. And with pelvic pain, I'm not going there unless you're a chick--no sexism intended, it's just an expression.

 

Adam, I'm really sorry you are suffering so much, but I have to be brutally honest and tell you that this is the wrong question. It means you're still focused on, and allowing yourself to be completely distracted by, the physical, rather than focusing exclusively on the psychological.

I'm really worried that you are wasting precious time here. I don't think this forum is helpful for you. You keep asking the same question, you get the same answer, and then you ask it again. You say yourself that you keep googling your symptoms, you keep going to doctors, you keep getting the same answers, and yet you continue to do it over and over and over again. You are spending virtually all of your time looking for reassurance, but you don't accept it when it's offered. And why should you? We're just a bunch of everyday people without any professional credentials.

I say "you", but of course this is all being driven by the mechanism of your subconscious, negative, fearful, primitive brain. It's totally in charge - because you have not yet found out how to be in control.

Look, I'm a tax accountant, not a mental health professional, so feel free to take what I'm saying with a big grain of salt, but I'm thinking that you need real psychotherapy - from a qualified full-blown MD psychotherapist who can administer drugs and everything. The key is in your brain somewhere, but your brain is doing a brilliant job of repressing it and distracting you with all of this crap instead.

I feel for you, Adam, I really do - when you add depression and OCD to the frustration of your continuing symptoms, it's a dismaying combination of things for you to deal with.

Please, I beg of you, get serious help. Take charge and take the first step towards a different outcome. You can't go on spinning your wheels like this. I just have this very strong feeling that if you want to recover, you're going to have to go a whole hell of a lot deeper into your psyche than you can possibly accomplish by hanging out on peer forums and asking for help from people who are not health professionals - and that you need more help than even a TMS therapist can provide.

 

Thanks guys you are right. I need to move on with my life. I'm my own worst enemy. My tms therapist is also a psycotherapist and does cbt training. I think I can help myself alot though by my attitude. To just let things be. Be happy. Stop torturing myself and stay off the Internet. A therapist can only do so much but I have to help myself

 

And I meant to say a tms therapist who knows about pelvic pain caused by the psychological aspect. But iv read enough books and posts and spoken to so many people. Ultimately I need to help myself snap out of this. I did it before and it worked. I am going to stop with the reassurance seeking and just get on with life. So what if I have an ass ache!!!! people have much worse

 

Went out for a meal and a few drinks and the pain went away almost completely. However this morning it came back and this evening as I write this it is agony. This is the final part of the puzzle for me. Yes it's mind body related. A serious issue doesn't go away and come back again. Not to gross people out but if I insert a finger in my anus it is a complete relief. I can feel around and push on the muscles and can feel the tension and tenderness. I must be subconsciously clenching my muscles.